Feeling desperate

Hi Trouble P, I read earlier on a forum thread that Netnanny works on iPhone & someone tonight posted about how to get K9 onto it but I don't recall who posted it! Why don't you give Gamcare a call & see what they suggest! If it won't support blocking software, get shot & get one that does or better still, one with no internet!

You may feel alone but we are here & understand your pain so can offer you support but you have to get the blocks in yourself to arrest this before it completely destroys you & your children.

You have to fight for recovery - ODAAT

Hiya trouble P, like you im a single mum and have about 7 payday loans i owe just over 2000. I made the decision to stop on saturday yet i gambled on monday. This is my day 2. Keep coming on here and reading through peoples messages. ODAAT and Cynical wife are really helpful and nice and understanding and have in peticular made me feel i can beat this. Im doing it one day at a time yesterday i just thought today imnot going to gamble, and today im thinking the same. I dont really have anybody to talk to about it either, sort of feel trapped in my own little world. I think i will eventually open up to my mum. For the payday loans if you cant pay them back(like me) try a Debt management plan. Im going to set one up. Absolutley last resort and can leave a bad credit history but mines already shocking anyway so shouldnt make much difference. Count today as day 1 n keep strong xx

Thank you both for your replies I've woken this morning feeling even worse if that is possible,I stayed up until 4am sending emails to self exclude from every place I have an account with,I hope I can manage to get rid of the payday loans without a debt management plan I was doing quite well but this is a massive set back,i just have to keep in my mind that I will never ever win because once I start I can't stop until every penny is gone!

Hi feelinglow30,my credit rating is shocking too,I will be counting today as day one I'll be installing k9 and asking my daughter to set the password so there's no way I can turn it off,also I'm going to request a new card from the bank,I hope we can both get out of this mess that gambling has caused.

Hi all

Sending you lots of love to start.

Payday loans are a killers I had more than I could count on two hands at my worst point. I'm guessing and correct me if I'm wrong that these will be due at the end of the month? Email all your creditors now and explain your having financial difficulties... Offer them a token sum they don't have to accept this but it then gives you plan B which is pay plan step change or the ombudsman.

You can do this!

Lots of love and peace xx

Hi trouble P, i know the awful thing is your stuck with a poor credit score for 6 years after defaulting. Last week a couple of days before i joined this site i applyed for a payday loan again to gamble with, and im even getting refused them now. I tried everything that day major high interest bad credit loans everything and not one site would accept me. Good thing now but at the time i was desperate n wanted it to gamble with. Im currently ignoring all my creditors and i know i shouldnt but my heads not right at the moment and i cant deal with them. I hope your able to sort yours out i know you dont want a debt management plan but if as last resort i do think it is the way to go, im definately going to. I hope your blocking software is going well xx

Hi, Troublep,

Well done on the self exclusion. The key is barriers, it's no good trying to rely on will power when you have time, money and location.

I recommend backing up the emails by snail mail to the head office. Give your name, postal and email address, date of birth and any account numbers and say you are a gambler in recovery and you want to make the exclusion permanent, other than confirming they should not contact you again in any way for any purpose. I had my husband send this type of letter everywhere he had had an account and in also in response to any marketing emails or letters.

Are you able to hand over your finances to anyone? It's easier for my husband to manage on minimal pocket money and to know that I vet his spending, he's not having to rely on will power. If not, then tackle your bank. Ask for direct debits to come out on pay day for essentials like rent or bills and possibly move living expenses to an instant saver or basic account with a cash card, ie no Visa for deposits. Get used to withdrawing the bare minimum.

The other drastic step would be to downgrade your phone to a non Internet version. My husband never had an Internet phone, although he doesn't have an image to maintain. It's easier to put blocking software on laptops and desktops.

Other than that, get help from GA and or counselling and this forum. Wish you well.

CW

Hello I'm now on day 2 of no gambling and starting to feel a little better,in regards to the payday loans I can pay them all off in 3 months if I just don't gamble I so want them gone,I haven't anyone to take over my finances but I now have k9 on my phone my daughter set the password and I know I can't turn it off because she has forgotten what it is! I feel like a weight has been lifted because that option to gamble isn't there anymore,this is is it this has to be an end to it I feel sick to my stomach about the money I have lost and what I could have bought my children,I am going to take 30 a week out of my account and save it at home for a special treat so I can see a reward for not throwing it away on the slots.

Day 3 almost done I've spent the day with my children in the sunshine not many urges,feeling stronger this time,this time it's forever!

Good for you, keep it up.

The urges do go away gradually the more time goes by, but of course down the line they can happen at any time.

I found posting on a forum with others who have been or are in the same situation, one of my biggest helps.

I would definitely recommend making a diary on this site. I found posting as and when I wanted on a forum a great help even if I didn't always get a reply it kept me focused.

Thank you Steve70 I will start a diary i am so determined this time,I've spent a lot of time in the last 3 days reading posts on this forum and found it to be a great help and distraction.

Of course a diary doesn't have to just be about gambling, people generally will get involved with general life chat as well.

For me the thought of posting to say I'd slipped up, was enough to stop me gambling quite a few times.

Set small goals at first, even a few days is an achievement for a compulsive gambler.