Feeling so low today

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Hey Shelley. ..
Firstly....it will get better love...but not over night...
Most of us have had all the feelings your feeling.. me....I totally get what your saying about your son....my daughter was the one who finally got me to see what my addiction was doing to me....and the family....your son is hurt...can't understand it all...stuck in the middle....scared ...all the things my daughter felt... and that's perfectly normal love....your hubbies probably feeling the same...wondering how the heck to deal with it all....you are going to feel c**P for a while...a huge bomb has gone off....now it's about how you deal with the fall out....you have to show some practical steps to those around you ....show them your serious about fighting this addiction...maybe today show them you've done some things..
Seen the doctor
Rang the helpline
Closed ways on which you used to deposit....
Achieve a couple things a day....and priove it to family...
If everything is out in the open....and they can see it all in front of them....it can all be dealt with....
It took me a long time to get over the guilt ....I can remember posting several times how bad I felt....how id hurt family so much....once they could see id totally committed to fighting my addiction it was easier to move on....the feelings will pass....do I feel guilty now....no....I faced it...I dealt with it...the whole family have learnt by it....obviously in many different ways....and it's brought the whole family together and much stronger as a unit....sounds weird...and hard to put into words really....but it has...
Time is a great healer love....but you need to make changes for change to happen...
Get your hubby and son together ....and just keep talking. ...I can remember me...hubby ..and daughter say talking to five am one night....lots of tears. ..lots of questions. Etc etc. ...but it's the only way love....I wish you wellx

The children and I were absolutely devastated by my husband's actions whilst actively gambling. We've stayed together as a family for various reasons, not all of them the right ones. But the main driving factor was that he did and is still doing everything that it takes to avoid the next bet. It's what he's done and is doing that counts. Words don't mean much.

It will get better one way or another as long as you change things for you. Call the helpline (again)? And if you can get to GA meetings, the reward is worth the hurdles you'd have to jump over to get there.

Wish you well.

CW

Well,I have been signed off work for two weeks,my GP does not feel I am fit for work,got a prescription for antidepressants,never had them before,and a load of information on counselling.All because of an addiction to on line slots,and I was honest about that and the crippling financial issue's associated with it.

The trouble is I don't feel I can go home,I think this will fuel my partners dissapointment in me,after all,I only have myself to blame.So back to driving around aimlessly for me today.How pathetic it all feels.

S x

Shelley...use the two weeks wisely love..
Go home...speak to hubby.. I know your scared.. I was...I posted the same 250 odd days ago...
You can't keep driving round hun. ...what's the worse that he can say or do....what could he say or do to make you feel worse love ?
Tell him you've been to see gp. ..put the kettle on....ring gamcare together ....he will find it all hard to understand....even us gamblers do...but at least show him your trying....never in a million years did I think my hubby would be ok with it all ....he was...he is....and we're better for it..
I doubted all the people on here for telling me what I'm telling you....but it's all true...
I'm around most of the day id you need to chat x

Thank you Loxie,I fully get what you are saying,I know it is stupid pretending I am at work waiting for him to leave,but he is barely speaking to me as it is,I am scared of the consquences when I finally pin him down to discuss the finances,I think he will leave,in fact I feel certain of that.

I am so tired but cannot sleep,when I do nod of it is the feeling of dread that wakes me up,I really feel I have had my last chance with him,and that is a devastating prospect for me.

I could be wrong,maybe he loves me more than I know,I guess I will find out over the next couple of weeks.

S x

Look hun
It's going to all come out sooner or later...all your doing now love is making it worse for yourself...today ..tommorow..next week.. the outcome will still be the same....whatever it is....so why make yourself I'll with worrying about what might....or might not happen....
You say the financial mess is terrible....and he doesn't know...maybe you can speak to those you owe....so you can tell hubby yove started to try and sort things....I done that with rent and utilities I was behind with.... I could then show hubby I was dealing with it....
No fiancial mess is un sortable. ...there's always an answer love...x

Did you go home? Are you ok?

Hey. ..just wondered if your ok hun x

Hey Shelley. .
You ok out there love..
X

You must go back to your partner ASAP and confess. I am single and would not wish that on anyone. The secretiveness and denial and isolating youreself might be more damaging than the actual loss of money and act of gambling itself!

Hi Shelley,

Just been reading some of your old posts, not nice reading and I hope things have improved for you? I believe now you have told your partner and eldest son everything? Please correct me if I'm wrong. If so big well done. I know it's not then a quick fix but take strength from what you've done. Facing up and admitting this addiction is one of the hardest and bravest things you can do. Plan your next positive step. Being off work two weeks can work against you, with all that spare time on your hands, mind working overtime. Been there! Keep yourself occupied.

Please update us. I see you have a few open threads so I'll keep looking for an update.....

All the best, Shep.

Hey Shelley. ..
Been thinking about you hun x

Shelley, I feel your pain, I have pretty much been going through the same thing as you, the difference was my husband found out before I could tell him, I went home to find all my clothes outside the flat, I haven't been back to work since, I just couldn't concentrate and believe it or not I work in accounts so I need to be focuses, right now it doesn't feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel, this is the second time I have done this to him, he won't speak to me and I am staying with my daughter 30 miles away so can't just pop in, I feel devistated and lost, but through reading other people's posts I think right now I need to concentrate on me, get myself sorted and start doing things to change it so when and if he is ready to talk to me I can show him I am taking actions to stop this, my thoughts are with you are I really hope things work out for you x

Hi Shelly - just thought I would check if your ok x