Hi
I have been gambling now for a few years and have managed to quit once for 3 months without help following getting into massive amounts of debt. However following getting a new job and pay rise I thought I would use a bit of my extra money to 'have a few games' as a treat for working hard. How stupid could I have been.
I feel absolutely disgusted with myself as I am now just over 2 weeks onto the month and have spent my last penny (plus borrowed extras!) Chasing my losses which always ends in disaster.
I know this happens but I feel like I possessed when I gamble I cannot stop and do not think of the consequences. Apart from now at 3 an worrying what my partner will say when I have to admit my money has gone and where as he does not know I have such a problem. He thinks I play now and again. I feel so deceitful and have so much hate for myself.
In have now decided to finally admit it is out of control and get the help I need. Just writing this has made me feel a little relieved although I still feel sick inside.
I would great appreciate any advice anyone cane offer. I Want today to have been the last day I have thrown my money away. And no longer have to lie and fabricate outgoings. And stop the feeling of self loathing.
Hi SamC,
Welcome to the site and well done for admitting to the problem, it is the first step towards recovery. The next important move or step to take is to self-exclude yourself and install blocking software if you gamble on line. This will help with the compulsion and I am sure if you think about it when you gamble all your money and are left with nothing you do not gamble because there is no means too, self-exclussion and blocking puts you in this possition daily.
Be honest with yourself and think about why you are gambling, everytime you have an urge slow down for 5 min and think of what is triggering the urges. It could be a simple thing like boredom but at least when you know you can then think of ways you may be able to combat the urges.
Then think about the reality vs the dreams. The dream is a big win will sort everything out. The reality is that very few people win big, those that do often land up losing it all again to gambling. The reality is the only time we start to win is when we stop. It sounds really simple and too obvious but it is actually the only truth.
Use this site and any other help especially during the initial stages as it is so easy to slip back into the world of fantasy that is gambling. Like any addiction gambling can take hold of you and destroy you, you only have to read the posts and diaries on here to understand that. But you can also recover and claim your life back as so many on here have done.
Keep posting and fighting this addiction, focus on small daily goals and keep as busy as you can with healthy activities and before long days and weeks will pass without gambling and you will start to reclaim your life back.
Take care,
Thank you for your reply it means a lot. I have already self excluded from a few sites and currently have cool off on others. Once the cool off periods are up I will self Exclude as I cannot nearby be person I have become. As you have said above but Is destroying who I am.
The best advice i can give is tell your partner, let them help manage your finances for abit, i tried quitting on my own and always went back, the night i broke my girlfriends heart is the night i drew the line and i am now 5 weeks totally gamble free except the lottery once a week, i never even think about gambling anymore, i quit overnight, im facing my debts and am getting my life back, this time next year i hope to be debt free, telling your partner is the only way. good luck.
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