Gambling addiction

Hi

You are in the right place and can now start learning how the gambling addiction controlled you...hopefully in the past tense.

You need reality checks and you need to face the truth about the amount you have lost by gambling.

Its not an income scheme or a lifestyle anybody really looks up to. Its not a James Bond film for us and we certainly dont have money to throw away.

If you carry on there wont be an escape route or comfort zone to make you feel its not the end of the world...so far

Thats a large overdraft and you need to read up on the rates they are charging for that. I spent my life as a spendaholic and a gambler and both were escapes from what I was really seeking...love and spirituality.

You will find a serenity when you are at peace with yourself. You need to tell your girlfriend what you have been up to and protect the household money. Does she gamble as well were you saying?

You need to tell a non gambler in your family and start putting blocks on gambling. Its no game about a silly flutter I can assure you. Its a highly dangerous addiction and its the road  to hell.

You can get some financial advice and start learning again that a pound is a pound. At the moment you are using money as tokens to fuel gambling and you have no control over it.

Gambling is not there to pay your way. Its a nugs game and random event which people become hooked to.

If you stop now you can count yourself fortunate that you are young. Spend the time getting more work and making your girlfriend proud of you

try and build a rainy day fund and you will bothe take a pride in getting things paid off and straight.

Openness and honesty are your saviours. Tell people and try and explain a gambling session...believe me it will make no sense because addictive gambling is an illness you can get help and support for

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Actually I think you are wrong in stating there is no real point to your post. Often when we have done crazy and stupid things it is very beneficial to let off steam and write about it. It can often help to give some perspective too. I think about my first post on here and although it wasn’t very long ago, I already can read it back now and think what the hell was that guy thinking...oh that guy was me.

Listen, I’m not diminishing how serious your gambling losses were. As I always say, it’s not so much that we lose bets as anyone who gambles including the experts also lose from time to time, our problem is we can’t accept losing and tend to chase the losses only to create a bigger problem than we had initially!

The positive aspect to your post is that you are self aware of what you have done and how illogical it was. You seem to want to change and acknowledge how much healthier your life would be if you didn’t gamble. These are all positive signs.

I think the most positive aspect of your situation is actually your relatively young age. You are still young compared to some of the older fogies on here like me. You’ve got time on your side. You have the ability should you choose to use it, to wipe the slate clean, accept your losses and debt to date and consider how you have the rest of a long life ahead of you to repair the damage and make dramatic steps forward in the years ahead to not only pay off the debt but start putting hard earned cash into YOUR account and not somebody else’s!

It’s a small thing but every time you go to bed from now on, congratulate yourself on the day just gone if you didn’t have a bet, and think about the potential hundreds or thousands of pounds you didn’t lose that day...and also think about how you are feeling and how you would have been feeling if you’d chased losses that day.

My friend hold on 

Take some weight off those shoulders and believe we're all on here too help each other doesn't matter what we bet how we bet or where we bet. Gambling is an addiction well it is for me. I was gamble free for over a year then went on my emails and yes I had one from a gambling company you know the rest I played roullett 1hr later I was nearly  £8000 in debt. I won't go into the rest as I don't feel you need to know. Do you think this company just got my name out off thin air I know what I think, all I'm trying to say if you keep to being gamble free for 365dys off the year you need to stop yourself but the gambling company's only have to ger you once. Live a proper life my friend not a poper. 

Okkkk so I am back.

and believe it or not I am still in more or less the exact same position.

after again, working 2 jobs. I am in nearly £2000 worth of debt again. 

I lost £1000 today after not gambling for nearly 2 weeks.

The crazy thing is I didn’t even have a particular urge... I truly felt in control. It is funny how that casual bet slowly becomes a huge lump sum to make back the initial casual bets stake.

at one point I was up £100 after my first deposit. However, I didn’t care and kept betting.

This shows how we do not gamble to win money but instead, in order to feed the addiction.

I truly hope now this is the last of it for me and I am seeing this big loss as a positive.

Venting over ??

Dear Hatinthetin, 

We are glad that you are able to share and receive supportive responses. Feel free to talk to us for a one to one chat on the helpline or Livechat, we are more than happy to listen to you and let you know what free options are available for your recovery, to ensure that you have enough restrictions and support  in place, rather than trying to rely on willpower alone. 

Best Wishes

Fiona 

Forum Admin

@hatinthetin When you put your first post here you said you didn't know what you were saying, basically just rambling, which is fine as long as our minds can get a little twisted with the gambling highs and lows, but now you're back I wondered if you plan to do anything about it?

What would you like to happen and what are you prepared to do to help yourself?

Chris.

I’m determined to never put another penny on online or at a bookmakers.

However, I know I sound like a broken record. 

I tried counselling once over the phone and the man bored me to death explaining to absolute basics of addiction which I already knew and it did not help me whatsoever.

Something like GA would be helpful but due to the pandemic, impossible to attend.

What would you suggest?

The GA rooms aren't necessarily closed, they are allowed open, it depends where in the country you are.

As for the counselling, some people find it works for them, but like all help, the more you want it, the more you particpate, the better for you it is.

I would suggest looking on the GA website as that will tell you if your local meeting is open.

I would also suggest giving the Gamcare advisors on here a call, a lot of people find that useful, to talk to someone who will understand how you are feeling.

There are also some good practical steps that you can put in place. Sign up to gamstop as that will help you stop access to the majority of gambling websites. Check with your bank to see if you can have a block on gambling transactions on your accout/card. Give your access to money over to someone else and have what you need. Take away the money and you can't gamble, right?

From memory your girlfriend was gambling as well? Is that still correct and does she have a problem too?

Do any of these things sound like you could do them today?

Chris.

No my girlfriend doesn’t. She never does without me it was only to have some fun alongside me essentially. 

I will look in to possible GA meetings.

I will also go for a walk later and give the helpline a ring.

thanks for your help

Regarding your girlfriend then, if she doesn't have a problem maybe she could look after your money, and by that I just mean restricting your access to it. You then show receipts for your purchases to show that you haven't been gambling. It helps her too if she's worried about you.

Any questions please ask away.

I look forward to reading about your progress.

Chris.