Had enough. Where do I start?

Welcome to recovery had enough now, you have come to a great place 🙂

First things first you need to figure out how to break your Time-Money-Location triangle, as removing one takes away the ability to gamble! Ideally I'd suggest handing over your finances but if this is not an option, you may want to consider downgrading your account to a basic cash card! Self exclude from the bingo & get blocking software for your systems (K9 is free but Gamcare can help as I know nothing about this as my damage was done in the shops)!

You need to get in touch with all your bill providers because this is a very slippery slope & the kids can have everything they could possibly want but if you get cut off because you haven't sorted your bills, it will be for nothing!

Why don't you give Gamcare a call & see about getting some counselling, chances are you don't gamble for money & you will need to get to the bottom of why you did it to help with your recovery!

Time to roll up your sleeves & start fighting for your life - ODAAT

Hi,

My husband's a CG (as far as I know, now in recovery) but looking at the forum, pay day's a huge hurdle for a lot of people. You're not alone but the thing is, will power alone doesn't work. You need all the help you can get and it is out there. GamCare and Stepchange are only a phone call away.

For us, I've sorted out barriers and limited his access to cash (minimal pocket money only) and done what I can to stop him applying for credit. Obviously this didn't happen until the gambling came to light, v traumatic all round but after the earthquake it's easier for him - because he's not relying on will power. Is there anyone who could do the same for you? Your parents or a sister or brother? A close friend?

If you've got to do it yourself, then the key is to set up direct debits that come out of your account on pay day. Perhaps open an instant saver with cash card only (no visa for deposits) and move your living expenses into that by DD on pay day? And all rent/ mortgage, utilities and repayments should also come out of your account by DD on pay day. Stepchange can offer further advice.

Nothing's easy but if you can sort this before pay day, it will be worth it for you.

Wish you well,

CW

Hi ODAAT and CW, thank you for your replies. I really am new to all this, but know this must stop and can not go on. I have not gambled since Thursday, it's not very long, but it's a start and I'm determined to not go back. I get paid weekly so usually Thursday's are the gamble and lose all days. My main bills are paid, rent, gas, electric etc, it's just debt bills that I have and don't know where to start with, credit card, catalogs etc. can anyone recommend who I can contact to help me sort these bills? I want to pay things off, start having some money in the bank and eventually gain a good credit rating and possibly take out a mortgage. It's seems a very long way from now, but that is my goal. Along with a new car! I have self excluded from many sites, still have about 5 more to contact. I have rang the bank twice and asked for help and unfortunately even the basic cash card is a visa and they have told me they can not place any restrictions on my account. I asked them to block all online use. One thing I am finding hard is actually switching my brain off and getting to sleep, it's usually night time I would gamble. The last few nights I have spent many hours here reading the forum! Any advise to gain a sleep pattern back, advice on where to start with bills, or a blocker for iPhone or anything else I can do with my bank account? Unfortunately I'm the only adult and don't have a lot of people round me, so ultimately I will be combating this addiction alone. Any advise is greatly welcome x

Thursday was ages away so a massive well done 🙂

Phone Gamcare...They will be able to point you in the right direction for the debt management & hopefully the blocker. If you can't get something for the phone you have get a different one! This addiction is awful but committing to recovery can protect you (& your loved ones) from harm! If the bank won't help, switch! There are definately some out there with basic accounts & you may even be able to find one with a switch incentive!

As for sleeping, people would have me convinced that water (bleugh) is a cure all but I'm not convinced! You will feel calmer as you get further away from the evil though & this should have a positive knock on effect!

You're not alone...You have us now 🙂

Thank you again for you kind words. It's easy to feel so embarrassed and ashamed at the mess your life is in and just coming to these forums the last few nights is really helping me and also I can see I'm not alone. I spoke to someone on gamcare chat today so have been given some useful information that I have been looking into this evening. I'm going to contact my bank again and if they can't help I think I will just have to change banks altogether. I'm determined to do this though, I know how different my life can be without gambling, feeling rubbish and always being skint. I have just emailed gamblock to ask if they can put a block on an iPhone as I can only see for android and if they can then it will be £40 well spent, even though I feel it's a waste of money, yet think nothing of wasting every penny on a virtual dream! Madness! As for the sleeping part my mind is still not switching off. I'm going to try and stick with it and see if it will pass, my mind at night is just constantly racing! The last few nights I have spent many hours reading these forums and it's helping me keep focused and distracted.how long have you been gamble free ODAAT? Has your life changed around now? Thanks again for replying and any advice and replies welcome, as at the moment this is keeping me sane!! X

Hi,

Try deal with one day at a time for now. Promise yourself "today I will not gamble". Obviously one day not gambling will not sort out your debt problems but on the flip side that one day stopped you from adding to them.

Whats the alternative? Gambling on that day only makes you want more the next day, and the next and the next.

Gambling is relentless, it will not stop until it destroys you.

I hope you are able to turn your life around, gambling certainly wont do it for you.

All the best

Mark

Hi, Had Enough Now,

Hope you're ok.

re your phone, the one drastic measure that will work is to have a non Internet version and get rid of your existing one. Some "bricks" are still fairly sophisticated. It's much easier to block lap top and desk top than mobiles.

re sleep, our GP gave my daughter a print out from the NHS website, must be available on line. It's all general advice, no instant cures, but common sense measures, things like a routine to wind down before bedtime, no computer or mobile after a certain time, no caffeinated drinks after a certain time, the room temperature being correct, matress and pillows being comfortable, all these things apparently promote "sleep hygiene". Other than that, it's about finding what works for you. Some people find the smell of lavender helps?

The obvious worry should ease as time passes and you settle into a recovery based routine.

BW,

CW

Great to see you taking such positive steps, you won't regret them 🙂

There are other blockers: K9, Betfilter, Netnanny have all been mentioned on here if Gamblock can't do it but I'm no expert. I'm sure I've read that the iPhone's are particularly stubborn...Maybe you could ask Apple if anything works on their devices?

As for reading, I didn't find this website first but I found a different one & between reading & playing so called crush games, I was online practically 24/7 @ the start of my journey 1 year ago!

I started a handwritten diary & have long since abandoned it for the Recovery Diary section of here. I did suggest it on FeelingLow's thread because it is a great tool as well as a safe haven when the urges kick in! There are also a couple of challenges running @ the moment if you're planning on sticking around & can commit to checking in: Sandra12 has a 90 day one (a couple of weeks in) with a Friday check in & there is a 2015 one running til the end of the year where you can check in @ any time in the week (I think).

I'm not a great sleeper but I am much calmer these days & my mind races with this site rather than the damaging thoughts of my addiction!

Recovery takes commitment especially when Mr Gamble is whispering in your ear but it is worth every bit of effort! You can do this - ODAAT

Hi hadenough now how are you getting on today? Did u go online and look at stepchange? I think me and you should write recovery diarys as Odaat has suggested i am feeling writting it down to be a big help. I gambled today im absolutley disgusted with myself. I had 10 pounds left over of what my ex gave me, went to the shop originally to buy a peppa pig magazine for my daughter walked out with a 10 pounds ukash voucher absolutley gutted. Of course deposited it and managed to lose it in less then 5 minutes. Yes its "only" 10 pounds but yet again i did it when i walked into that shop i went into a trance as if i was somebody else! I feel pathetic how the hell does this get easier i felt really happy yesterday n now im back to square one x

Hi feeling low. Try not to stress to much. It's done now so think about tomorrow and even though £10 is enough you haven't blown hundreds. Just start again. I did have a read on the step change website and I'm planning to call them Friday, as I'm away with the kids for a few days (pre planned and paid for)! It's only a little break but hopefully it will keep me occupied the real test will be when I'm home Friday evening. I'm still determined though even though I've been having thoughts of just one last time, one more £20 etc I know that I would spend all and feel gutted and I really want a better life and to sort my finances. Even just being on a little holiday today makes me think how many times I actually could afford to do this with the kids and more lavish holidays in the future! Stay focused feeling low. Have you managed to take any steps to sort anything out? I definitely need to change my bank card as when I play online it's almost like it's not real money, until I wake up with nothing for another week. I get by but it's a struggle and I can't stand that feeling anymore. Don't strew to much over today feeling low, start again tomorrow and put anything you can in place to stop you before Thursday. I will look into writing a diary when I'm home to keep my focus and distracted. Unfortunately signal is not great inside a tent, which is probably a blessing! I'll try and check in tomorrow. Stay strong, start again and block by anyway you can, and I will be continuing to try the same xx

Hi hadenoughnow hope your enjoying your trip away with the kids, maybe its just what you need right now to clear your head and focus on things, plus the lack of signal is definately a good thing. I love camping i used to go lots when i was younger, bet the kids are loving it. How old are your kids? I havent gambled today my daughter has been a bit poorly so just been chilling out. Thats how i feel now that i want to treat my daughter to nice holidays and not have holidays cancelled because ive gambled all the money away. Think i may open a savings account. I havent yet got round to contacting stepchange, need to really do that asap my creditors are getting worse, cant blame themi owe them money but its constant and depressing so i must do that tomorrow. Anyway if i dont hear off you until you get back have a lovely time, enjoy your time with your kids, focus on your kids and yourself and getting yourself better and enjoying the fresh air! Xx

Hi thought I would say hi,
When you get back from your trip take cash out what you need and accidentally lose your bank card lol, just have money for what you need till you speak to debt people, there will be no temptation then.
All the best hope you have enjoyed your trip with your kids
X

I wanted to say hi and post diary as well. Sounds great that you are getting to spend some quality time with the kids and stay gamble free. Keep strong. I look forward to your more detailed posts on return later this week.

Hi all. Haven't been on for over a week. Led in bed feeling awful. I have literally in the last few days had a major gambling spree. Taken out 2 payday loans after spending all my own money and you guessed it spent them to. So now skint and owe a small fortune that only 3 days ago I didn't owe. I seriously don't know how I'm going to ever stop this for good. Feeling run down, depressed with what I have done and anxious as to how I'm going to pay this money back! I always have that thought, if I can just get one win of so much I can then pay this and that and quit, but it never happens. I'm at a loss what I'm going to do. Haven't been on here as have been gambling and sat mopping about today not knowing what to write! These payday loans will hit my account and I don't even think I can pay them back! Any advise much appreciated. I will be back tomorrow and will write a list of everything I need to do first thing Monday. Had a quote to have my garden done the other day, £1500. I could of paid that this last week! I don't know why I do it, I know I get bored in the evenings and like playing the slots but Once I put the first £10 I can spend the lot every penny I have wether hundreds or tens in minutes or hours. Sick of this cycle and now I've made it worse! Anyway hope everyone else is managing to stay gamble free x