Had enough. Where do I start?

Hi,

Instead of thinking about it, actually get rid of your debit visa card, and ditch your internet phone. And block your laptop/desktop. What do you expect if you insist on keeping your time money localtion triangle intact.

Good luck,

CW

We cannot win because we cannot stop & until you accept that, the addiction will continue to lure you back in with false promises! As CW says, it's actions not words that will keep you safe! I'm not keen on the idea of kicking you when you are down but seriously girl wake up...You say your kids don't go without but you are kidding yourself! They may have material things but kids need stability & you cannot offer that when the most important thought in your life is gambling! You have taken a huge step by admitting you are an addict but it is time to draw a line under the past now! Gambling will not solve your problems, it caused them! Make that list, phone Gamcare for advice & get some counselling booked! Exploring why you gamble & dealing with the root cause can happen further down the line but for now, do whatever it takes to get your triangle broken! I know the crazy feelings of going to bed & swearing upon anything & everything I will not do it again & then getting up & going right back to it...I did it for many years! Recovery is hard, especially in the early days but it is necessary & especially so in your case! Not only do you need to provide for your children but you need to be a good role model to them...Don't underestimate the 'power' of a gambling parent, especially a single one...That's where my almost 3 decades of destruction started!

Letting go of all the time & effort you have invested into that 'big win' is almost as hard as walking away without it but you can do it!

Time to fight back - ODAAT

Hi. I haven't gambled since writing my last message which was Sunday, so a few days but nowhere near enough. I have managed to sort funds this week and I have treated the kids, cinema, swimming, etc. I know sometimes people need to be tough with words but my children really don't go without. They also don't see me gamble. Anyway I have stayed focused this week and having spoken to one debt management company but they charge stupid fees, so I'm going to call step change on Friday as having been digging all the letters out as to know exactly where I stand. In the meantime I went for a job interview for a better position than now and have a trial tomorrow so that's keeping me feeling positive as its a step in the right direction, career wise. I called the bank again and won't change my card (Barclays) so I need to find an account somewhere else without a debit card? Any recommendations? I use my phone for work purposes so I need an Internet phone. I have self excluded from many sites I can think off although had 2 emails today from old sites with a bonus enclosed so have emailed them also. It's a hard habit to crack that's for sure, but I am trying and making a start, and although I can accept criticism please don't say I'm not a good parent! I appreciate your comments though x

Hi,

Glad to hear that you're doing better. You could try a letter to Barclays Customer Service Centre at Kingsmaker Court in Warwick, (get the full address on line) quoting your account number, explaining the problem and asking for a non visa card with a low daily withdrawal allowance. Otherwise open an instant saver account at one of the (former) building societies, these are cash card only and have no cheque or visa facility. Interest rates are either very low or negligible but it would achieve your purpose. Keep your current account empty by setting up Direct Debits to come out of it on pay day for vital bills and a further DD or standing order to move your living expenses into the instant saver.

Can you have a work phone just for work and a private "brick" for your personal use?

CW

Hiya,

Well done for getting help - that is a huge step to make. Just follow the sdvice and willpower you will make it thru.

As for finance, i suggest you write down list and what you owe. Like of electricity and council tax - speak to them to spread your cost of repayment. And if you have and credit cards or payday loan and you really struggling i would suggest contact payplan. They are organisation helping out with your debt and point you right direction ie repayment or rearrangement or insolvency. They are one of the organisation does NOT charge a fee as they paid from the credit card companies to help people struggling repayment. Obvious you dont need to make a decision but do speak to them with a list.

Hope this helps x