I've just joined this forum and am very grateful to all who have posted here. Just reading other people's posts makes me see that what I have been going through is very much a shared experience.
My story is very similar to many I have read. I'm a mid 30's male, have gambled for 12 years. Have lost more than I can afford and live with debt, shame and guilt.
My last big loss was on Friday night. I have been reading this forum since then (three days and counting) and I have been contemplative, quiet, exhausted, BUT; I have not placed a bet. Not one. So thank you to all of you brave posters.
I'm keen to become an active member of this forum, as I think it is of tremendous value. A sense of belonging is incredible comfort. Especially as gambling is amongst the loneliest of pursuits.
To be upfront. I am addicted to roulette. I chase my losses. I believe that I'm a good roulette player, despite the fact that it is a game of chance and I have a 50,000 debt. I often win a good chunk of money - last week I won 4000. By Friday I had lost it, and then lost it again. I don't want this to be my life.
Three days later and I can feel some distance between me and my eternal losses. The obsessive gambling thoughts are waning. Distance appears to be working. I'm going to try and knock this on the head once and for all.
I'm not sure if I'm allowed to swear on this forum. So **** roulette, **** bookmakers and **** gambling. Wishing a very good day to all.
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Thank you, Robert, for getting back to me. I really appreciated your post.
In spite of my resolution not to gamble I eventually caved in at the weekend. I won, then lost and ended up worse off. It really is the worst feeling. So angry and absolutely no logical or rational reasons for my actions. It's just never worth it.
I wonder if the first part of giving up is simply to let go off all the losses. I've lost over 50000 in ten years and I have always had problems financially. I suppose I'm always thinking that one day I might win it all back. All that happens is; I create a larger overall loss.
I've been an idiot. I shouldn't tempt fate. I'll never win back that money and so I should just let it go. Then I might never see the need to gamble again. It's almost as if gambling is an attempt to right a wrong. Throwing good money at bad.
I am going to dig in now and hopefully I'll put this all behind me.
Stay strong everyone out there
Hi Skeletor,
You are so right about not chasing your losses.
We cannot continue to gamble indefinitely once we have crossed the line into problem gambling.
Learn all you can. Start your own diary in the Recovery section. It might take you a few attempts but you will learn as you go.
Take care,
Suzy
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