Hello guys my name is Sarah im 27 years old and since september 2015 i became a compulsive gambler non stop im down just shy of ВЈ3,000 and I am totally ashamed of myself even when im doing it i know its wrong but just can not seem to stop 🙁 i have not been gamble free yet well i did 1 week 5 days no gambling. Ive always liked gambling but never been bad at it i feel very depressed. If my partner were to find out he would leave me as he is very good with money ect we have a 1 year old son to, i feel as though i am alone and i have no one to talk to about it and when i talk to my mum (who despises gambling anyway) she pretty much calls me stupid shes had to bail me out and i now owe her £1400 which without my partner knowing going to take me a long time to pay back. I work full time nights so tend to get bored easily. My only problem is online slots i cant control my urge to stop i believe it is an illness and i would like someone to talk to if anyone can spare the time? Sorry if my introduction is long...
Hello Sarah
Welcome to the forum.
Your introduction is fine.
I understand and respect your decision not to tell your partner. I'm sure nobody wants to tell their partner, usually it's for the best for all concerned and would make stopping easier for yourself; but every case is different.
You've picked up on your problem quickly; I expect the money you owe could be worse and know it will be a lot worse if you continue.
Self-exclusion, blocking software and handing over finances are all good barriers to help you stop. Can see in your situation these might be difficult to implement.
I would recommend phoning the GamCare helpline. They also offer free counselling that many find very helpful.
This forum is a great place to learn about how other people deal with their gambling addiction. Have a good read around the forum, especially the 'recovery diaries' and you will be surprised how many people are sadly in a similar situation.
You might find starting a recovery diary helpful. You will receive plenty of advice and support from good people.
You're never alone here.
Best wishes
Glint
Hi Sarah welcome to the forum. I can only really mirror what Glint has said. My addiction was online slots so I have an understanding of where you are coming from. As Glint suggested setting up a diary can be very useful and also reading others as you will find you're not alone and hopefully pick up some useful advice. I would advise giving Gamcare a call, they are non judgemental and can help arrange counselling. You have said that your night shifts are the worse time so I would advise you look into blocking software such as K9 or down grading your mobile to a non Internet phone to help break the cycle (assuming you are using your phone).
Take care and the very best of luck X
Hi thank you both for replying. Im all self excluded for the sites i was using my mum now has taken my bank card and we dont live together so no way of taking a sneak peak of card number if im tempted so should be ok for now and hopefully the future. I now owe her £1750 but we are dealing with that slowly she said she just wants me better and back to the person i use to be. Ive wanted to gamble all day today but havent so looking up. I do gamble on my phone but i wont down grade phones i love my phone and use it for everything rarely use my laptop. I will possibly start a diary if everyone thinks it will help me beat this awful disease and ill look through others journey to xx
Hi Sarah, nice start and looks like you have support from your mum. Take one day at a time and you will beat this horrible addiction. Stay strong and when Mr gamble comes nagging in your head don't let him beat you, keep busy and the craving will pass. I myself have kept my IPhone so I understand that you don't want to downgrade just don't have that first bet. Never mind how in control you feel you are a CG and that won't go away. You will win everyday you don't gamble. Take care x
Hi Sarah,
As the other people have said , you are not alone and can come here and share youre story and problems with us any time.
You have to try now and put the blocks in place to help you beat this addiction,read the forums and our stories. You are and always will be a complusive gambler ,it wont ever go away Sarah , but with the right focus and a bit of help it can be overcome and controlled.Allowing you to lead a happy and fruitful life as a gamble free mum.
You are still a very young woman and although the debts are big they can be overcome in time .gamble free.Please dont go down the road i have ended up at the end of , in my mid 40s , life in ruins ... all due to my roulette addiction .Think this as a completely new start ,and tell youre self that you must change now .Read these forums ,they will help you stay strong ...dont be too hard on yourself as well ,whats done is done ... money gone...in the past .
Today i will not gamble Sarah , and today i hope you will join me in saying that ... good luck !
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