Hello everyone,
I am a 47 year old male who has been using online casinos on and off for the past 7 years. Prior to this, as a teenager, I was regulalrly involved with 'card schools' with friends and other people who used to visit my local pub. I remember the thrills of winning from back then and this has possibly caused me to want to re-live these feelings in later life. I am married with two grown up children and have a good job which pays really well. When I first started gambling online, my goal was to win enough money in order to put down a deposit to buy a house. Of course, I always lost the money - after initially winning although I did manage to get a mortgage (but this was at a time when I wasn't gambling). I think I tend to gamble when I am feeling low in myself. It may be the thrill and adrenaline rush that temporarily makes me feel better. I have lost up to £35, 000 (using all my credit cards etc in the past) and have also had to take out a loan to pay some of the debts. I managed to refrain from gambling for a year or two until recently. I had been feeling particualrly stressed with my work and quite low. I recently visited an online site and managed to win around £40,000. I couldn't believe my luck! The site only lets you cash in £12,000 per month. I cashed in this amount and then proceded to lose the rest plus a further £15,000. I felt physically sick and wanted to end my life. I had even started to consider how to do this. I had huge feelings of guilt and how this would impact on my family. My wife noticed that I wasn't my self (she had seen me really happy a couple of days previously when I had won - although I hadn't told her this). She eventually questioned me and I admitted that I had been gambling again. She, quite rightly, was very annoyed and was shouting at me for the rest of the evening. All I could do was to say sorry. I promised that I wouldn't gamble again. However, the following day I received an e mail from the gambling site stating that they had given me a £500 bonus. I had nothing more to lose and so proceded to gamble with this. Again, I couldn't believe my luck when I had won. I have probably gambled more than this over the years. My problem now, is having the will power not to gamble for the next few months (until I have received all of my winnings). I told my wife what had happened and she was cross again for me lying but has since accepted that I had nothing more to lose etc. I promised her that I would contact Gam Care and get some help. So, here I am and I am awaiting a call from a counsellor in my local area. Any advice from any of you would be most appreciated. I don't want to sound like i'm boasting about my win and I feel awlful for those of you out there who are mourning your losses. As I said previously, I have probably spent much more than this amount over the years. I have contacted this site previously (several years back) and also attended some GA meetings.
Change your registered email on the casino site to one that only your wife has knowledge of, then get her to change your casino log in password to something only she knows. All I can think of
Thank you - I did think about this possibility 🙂
If your serious about giving up gambling...which I really don't think you are at that point yet...and you really plan to use that win to put things right financially. ..then it's simple....get your wife to change all log in details to the site concerned and keep those details away from you untill all withdrawals are completed... self exclude from all sites...set up blocks so you can't gamble online...you've been on here long enough to no all the ways to attempt to stop gambling....sorry if all sounds a bit hard and bitchy....but we are all one step away from disaster with our fight against this addiction....if you can use this money as a get out of jail card then that's brilliant....just be very carefull it doesn't make matters worse....I wish you well..x
12,000 a month to cash out and spend wisely or a big stake to gamble with again?. That is the big question.
You asked for advice. Ok. You pass everything relating to the gambling account to your wife. Let her manage it, set the password and withdraw the monies when applicable. When all the monies are withdrawn it is closed.
You have no access to anything financial. No cards. No cash. No online banking. Nothing.
Like me you have gambled all your adult life. Doesnt matter.on what. You have to want to stop and take big steps to do so. You said in your post that previously you withdrew 12k lost it and spent a further 15k. That is serious money.
You need to put serious barriers in place to stop it happening again as you are always chasing a bigger win.
You have been lucky with some big wins and now its time to call it a day
Best wishes
Please listen to the words of Emily. I'm not going to say what I think. But you've been very open about your wins and loses. What online site is it that has 12K max withdrawal?
If you are serious about stopping, pass on the account ID and log-on etc to your partner so she has control of the withdrawals. Otherwise like all CGs temptation will win and so will the bookie.
Jeez!!!
Hello DP_1968
Welcome to the forum.
I would concur with Balvaird's post. A gambling addict having that sort of money is bad enough, winning it is a recipe for disaster.
Can see how this is going to be very difficult for you with all that temptation.
Take the temptation away!
I'd refer to your final sentence. You have been here and to GA before, stopped logging on and attending GA and have returned to gambling.
Gambling addiction isn't going to just go away. Especially after such a big win. You have to commit to it.
I'd suggest now is the perfect time.
No half measures.
You've had a huge slice of luck. Congratulations. Take it, don't push it.
Best wishes
Glint
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Firstly, I sincerely apologise to Emily and anyone else if I have caused offence. The difference that people probably cannot appreciate is that you only seek help when you have lost large amounts of money and feel like your world is about to end. I have experienced this many times and although it sounds like a lot of money - it is probably a fraction of what I have lost overall. It's about getting it into perspective - just because I have chosen to stop gambling at a point when I have winnings does not make me a bad person, and nor, should it encourage anyone else to have that one last flutter. It's just that I managed to recognise that same old pattern whereby I just carry on gambling regardless of how much I have won. I have chosen to post this on here in the hope that I get some support (and thank you for your comments regarding my wife) - this is what I intend to do. Just because many of you have screwed up (like I have many times) - this is normally the guilt, shock, anger etc that you feel after you have lost. I am struggling not to gamble - it is really hard as i'm sure you will appreciate. I don't want to lose this money and, yes, it will pay off my debts. I'm sorry, if you find it difficult to see someone trying to do something positive. As I said previously, the difference is that most people on here, are here after having huge losses. I have, today spoken to a local counsellor who I am going to see next week. I realise that I should have done this years ago. Emily, you need to understand that I have been at the bottom of the pile many times before - and just because I have this win, doesn't mean that everything is ok. Like you Emily, yes, I agree I am a CG - but I also believe that I can get help for this problem and overcome it for good - just as you and everyone else on here can. I have not spoken about the root of my problem but I am very aware of it and it's not been an easy life at times for me. It is because of the way I often feel about myself that I choose to gamble - to get that rush to temporarily make me feel better. I recognise that - so surely that is a good start to recovery. Again, i'm sorry for upsetting anyone - that certainly isn't what I am about.
Hi DP
I wasn't at all taken back by your post. You win some, you lose a lot when gambling. As you say, if you go out on a win then, fair play/whatever - it's probably not a great comfort in the scheme of things (money or health/relationships etc).
The focus should be on stopping - because it's no life being an addict. The focus shouldn't be on holding out for a fat wedge. But I think you know that. Look forward to hearing more (of the former in particular)
Best
Louis
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Hi Phil M - yes, you are correct, you will never be ahead in gambling (and i'm not ahead anyway)! I just used that phrase in terms of my win and not spending again. Not sure I need a reality check? I have lost thousands on many occasions - I know the reality of how that works - that's my point - I have recognised what happens in the cycle of gambling and have decided to get help at this point and not when I have had a huge loss!
Emily - thanks for your comments - I have read some of your diaries (hope you don't mind) - you sound determined and I really hope your recovery goes well. Although my post may have been looked upon as hope, for some people (in terms of what their CG head tells them) - we all know that the reality is that you lose everything in the end. Maybe, I should have focussed more on the losses that I have had, which far outweigh this win (although I appreciate that many people will look upon this differently). The way I am looking upon it is that I have a fraction of what I have gambled back - and I am trying desperately not to gamble this again - I am not a winner by any means though - nobody who gambles ever is. It's also not been easy trying to refrain from going on to this site and having another flutter. I keep getting e mails from the site informing me of bonuses and special offers. This is how they get into your head I think. It's all very psychological and I think CG's are vulnerable enough to be sucked into this. I also feel that these online sites need more regulalion than they currently have. I have to keep reminding myself that they are a business - trying to make a profit - it's a trick and I am one of their victims (along with millions of others). Good luck to you Emily - stay strong and focus on your family 🙂 x
Thanks Deano - My wife has control of the account now! The best i've managed to do is to get them to cashout £15 k a month - I would self exclude but I don't trust these people at all - they will probably come up with something which is in their terms and conditions! They are all crooks!
DP_1968 wrote:
Thanks Deano - My wife has control of the account now! The best i've managed to do is to get them to cashout £15 k a month - I would self exclude but I don't trust these people at all - they will probably come up with something which is in their terms and conditions! They are all crooks!
I really hope you manage to stop.
I too won large amounts online and on occasion tried to withdraw
They did every thing they could to stall me till such time i gave it all back.
If you have a smart phone change it for a basic none internet access one
If you have too get rid of your home internet modem
It may seem extreme but i wish i had of
The win will niggle at you like a tooth ache such is the way we CG think.
I would not self exclued till all the funds are in your account they will use it as an excuse not to pay.
You will probably get emails asking you to prove who you are this is a trick they use
If you think they are deliberately stalling you mail them back you are contacting there licensing body to report them.
Good luck
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