I am a mum to 4 girls and my husband is a gambler, he no longers lives with us as I have to go on benefits so I just can keep a roof over the girls heads he promise so many times to stop I also have to support him as he blows his wages in a week. This is my first step to try and help us bcause I so drain and tired the girls are suffering as well as they got a very grumpy mum This is the last chance to help before i walk away for the sake of the girls and me
Hi Kerry, welcome to the Forum and I am sorry that you are experiencing what you have been my friend, my heart goes out to you.
The first and most important point is that you cannot bail him out anymore, full stop, no exceptions; bless you for trying to help, but it is just making the situation worse.
If you can't rely on him to help, then you need to make sure his actions don't have a direct effect on your family. He needs help, but this must come from him, and he must tackle it head-on for all of your sakes.
I gambled for twenty years before stopping around six years ago. People took a "tough love" approach with me - I hated it at the time but now I am grateful, eternally grateful that they did. If he truly accepts that his children come first, then he must understand that he is doing damage that can't be undone, and that will continue - if that means cutting him off completely, then you are doing it for his long-term benefit, and for the long-term benefit of his children.
I would say that you not only need proof that he is trying to stop, but he needs to have a plan that he needs to stick to. Explain that you will help, tell him that you will help him install blocking software on your Laptop/PC, tell him you will go to GA with him, tell him you will happily take control of his finances and anything else, but you won't involve yourself financially, under any circumstances.
Please take care my friend, all the very best to you. Don't be afraid to post and share more as you will always receive supportive and non-judgemental advice.
JamesP
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