Hi everyone, right, where do I start?!
I am honestly at rock bottom, and think i need serious help! I've been in denial about my gambling addiction for the last few month, convincing myself i could stop (if i wanted to) when truth is im spending every last penny I (my family) has and i cannot stop, before ive even actually thought about what im about to do, ive already done it. I cannot go on like this!
It all started in 08, a night out with my little brother, I watched him win £500 from £10 on the slot machines in the local casino, and that.....got me hooked, he made it look so easy! For the first few year gambling i'd probably gamble maybe once a month, maybe less, just on roulette mainly, at this point i was completely in control, always left on an even, very rarely lost and could walk away happy as larry whenever I was up! In 2010 after the company I was working for was going bust and I was left much of an income, i found myself gambling the very little money I had in order to gain enough to pay rent and live, of course this didnt work and i end up moving back home with family, at this point i didnt see it as an issue, i was just young and silly, i managed to gain control of my finances again from here and other than placing the odd few pound on a footy bet, i was in complete control with a little flutter here and there, i met the most amazing guy and we have a gorgeous little boy together, not long after my son was born and i was getting bored staying around the house i decided to work from home, i had saved enough money to start my own business, doing something i had studied when younger, and always had a passion for. The firts few month of business was tough and eventually i start seeing an income and and actual stable career, i decided not to take a wage and just to withdraw any left over funds from company, after time when things would quieten down i'd often have to dip into business funds to get by, i ALWAYS replaced the money.
Business went quiet over the winter months, i found myself struggling and i began the whole 'gambling' to get by carry on again, i ended up dipping into business funds and not being able to cover outgoings, i had to borrow from family to cover business payments and refund customers where i was unable to provide the service due to the fact i'd missed payments because i'd taken funds from the company, i began on my huge web of lies, deceiving the people i love and care about.....this was a month by month problem until it all come to a head towards the end of last year, i had little to no business income with payments still due out, i began taking money from the company to gamble in order to recoup losses and 'WIN' enough to cover the outgoings, and of course instead of winning.... which i often did.... not that it ever reached my bank account as it was never enough to cover everything to get me back on track, i end up lieing to customers/family/friends about the state of the company and my own finances to cover this mess i am in today, i failed to provide a service to a particular customer who accused me of 'fraud' via social media, this resulted in every person who had ever had any sort of issue with my business jumping on board accusing me of fraud, this made from page news locally, eventually the police got involved and began taking statements from all this disgruntled customers, i was arresred, questioned and im now being investigated for fraud, i personally do not think ive done anything wrong, and i know i have not set out to de-fraud anyone so im trying not to stress myself out as im on the brink of a mental breakdown i think.
Even now, today (everyday) 5 weeks in, i am STILL gambling every penny on a daily basis, i am putting this before my family and i hate msyelf for it. I so stupid im one of them who thinks im gonna win big and it will fix everything, im mainly playing side bet BJ just waiting for straight flushes and big wins....i just really need help with it all, my family have NO idea i still gamble, last year I blew 6k that i won on roulette which i was gonna invest in my business and open a shop, i lost every penny and had to tell my other half and family, who were absolutely devestated and hurt, i couldnt put them through it again, and truth be told the big wins i've had since ive never told anyone ad i've lost it all within the same day usually, at this very day i've jst blown every penny i have (my half of the house bill money) so will be filling my OH with excuses as i cant tell him the truth.
I just have NO idea whats going to happen to me, ive withdrawn myself from friends, most of my family believe that ive scammed/frauded people and wont speak to me, i literally am scared to leave the house incase somene gives me abuse, my business is completely down the pan and is mid 'strike off'
I just done know what to do anymore, ive even thought about what i would do if i was found guilty of fraud and i could not cope with going to court and having this all over the media and the thought of jail makes me consider suicide, but, i'd never ever do that to my family. My own mother was an addict and commit suicide when i was only 13 and i know i will never put my family and my son through what i went through, i just dont know where to turn.
I have no one to talk to at all, i dont suppose but does anyone know of anyone who have got out of a similar situation? Any help/advice would be great.
The is the most honest ive been in a long time.
xx
hi, my heart goes out to you, everyone on here is in someway in a mess or been in a mess with gambling. I am hardly qualified to give advice, it has taken me a long time, many trips on here, counselling, and the loss of life changing sums of money to eventually step back, stop and try and i mean try, to take normal control of your financial life. So advice i cannot really give, but if you read on here there is a lot of sense posted by the longer members of this forum, I would say take heed of it, I wish I had when I first came on here, life would be so much more manageable, good luck
Hi lml, Im starting to think the same, ive come on before, i think this is the first time ive been honest enough with myself to realise how much of a mess im in, i could cry for the life in giving my OH and Son, its not nice at all. Im sorry you've also had a rough time, it seems it gets the best of most people, i just wish i could go back, i really do, it seems the better my life got, the worse my habit got. xx
Hi sending you my love, your going through a horrible time, this forum is the best place to come for support. I think the key to trying to overcome gambling is to find our triggers, mine is boredom and depression. I hope things start to get better for u soon xx
Hi katefrankie,
I think you need to seek counselling via Gamcare (it's free). You could also look at attending GA meetings.
Self exclude from local bookmakers and casinos. Block online gambling with K9 and get someone else to set the password.
Break the vicious circle of gambling you have created.
You need prove to your family that you are taking steps to address your gambling problem.
I think you need to hand over your finances to a trusted family member if possible. That way you obviously cannot use funds to gamble.
If you can stay clear of gambling by putting measures in place your thinking will become less confused.
Your progress will be very much on a one day at a time basis. I've been gambling free for over a month and I feel mentally stronger now.
If you are very anxious and depressed I would suggest you talk to your GP urgently.
I wish you well.
My heart really goes out to you what an awful awful situation I can't give you any advice as I have just come to terms with my own gambling I just want to wish you all the luck in the world x
kate my letter came today very scarey tummy churning from my business partners lawyer. i took over 30 k from the business to feed my rotten addiction. she didnt know until the other week now the c**P is hitting the fan. im in it up to my kneck but i aint going to gamble.ive been diagnosed a couple of times with clinical depression and i gamble when im like that. this could get really nasty but there are people coming out of the woodwork to help me and are really showing lots of love its unbelievable. we both have to take it one day at a time.the only death sentence for what weve done is if we carry on gambling.im in the wrong it was my behaviour that has screwed things up and even though ive been so down in the dumps and lonely its me that has to accept the consequences. i love my family so much and im not a bad person its just sometimes im lost and depressed and then i gamble. this time its with money that didnt all belong to me. just need a few days to put things right and trying to win it back from a slot machine isnt the way.
if you go to court there is no death penalty you get your story across say it as it is, its the only way this country will put people ahead of the money they get from tax revenues from these machines. we need to be safe as we are vulnerable the least they could do is put facial camera recognition in all gambling premises, so that when you self exclude and give your photo they upload it on their system the technology does the rest, so even when staff are busy for cheltenham ect if that camera sees you youve had it your out. no hiding from it.
youve built a business and you can do it again this is only a failure if you do nothing about it.ppl can shout abuse get mad shout call you names but thats as bad as it gets once that is out of the way you will soon bounce back if you can kick this horrible addiction. you can do it but talk about it.
Hi Steve, Im sorry your BP has taken it further, i was hoping she'd be able to understand your side, i know its eaiser said than done, i just hope they drop it. I got myself into such a mess last night, i rag my solicitor and he assured me not to worry, at the end of the day where the business/farud is concerned they have the prove we have set out to commit fraud and thats not the case for either of us, im sure yu didnt plan any of this, as i didnt either, i do feel it depends on which way they want to look at it, as i can see how bad things would look. and yes the worst they can do is throw the book at us, its the humiliation of having to go to court and admit im a low life gambler (thats how i feel) which makes me feel ill. Not sure how you feel, its just such a secretive/embarrassing addiction. I question myself daily a million times over about how ive got to this. Stupid things that i've done before even thinking them through. We arent bad people, we let an addiction get the better of us, like 99% of people with addictions do. I really hope to god it gets sorted for you, me both, what did the letter say? It seems as if they teating it as a civil matter (i.e you got a letter) i had the police come raid my house and arrest me. Have you spoken to a solicitor? Im deaking with Cunninghams, they're based in manchester (but travel uk wide) i'd recommend giving them a call, even if it makes you sleep a little better. I know, i have lots of ideas, i feel the world is against me at the moment, solicitors said i just need to get on with my life and not worry. If you need to get stuff off your chest just write away, i feel we'd probably understand each others situations a little more.
MrStop wrote:
Hi katefrankie,
I think you need to seek counselling via Gamcare (it's free). You could also look at attending GA meetings.
Self exclude from local bookmakers and casinos. Block online gambling with K9 and get someone else to set the password.
Break the vicious circle of gambling you have created.
You need prove to your family that you are taking steps to address your gambling problem.
I think you need to hand over your finances to a trusted family member if possible. That way you obviously cannot use funds to gamble.
If you can stay clear of gambling by putting measures in place your thinking will become less confused.
Your progress will be very much on a one day at a time basis. I've been gambling free for over a month and I feel mentally stronger now.
If you are very anxious and depressed I would suggest you talk to your GP urgently.
I wish you well.
Hi katefrankie
Are you still around. Have you done any of the suggestions Mr stop recommended
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