Hi there. I am here finally because I am worried about ruining my life. I am student in my third year studying game development, so I am always at my computer. I have lost my motivation this year and my grades have paid for it. I seem to procrastinate whenever I struggle with something and this is when I tend to gamble. I have lost a lot of money in the past and I seem to learn for a week that I should stop, and I do. But then I always come back to it and I am so scared that this will go on forever. I am in a loving relationship and I don't want her to suffer from it. I just read a post about a lady who had to break up with her boyfriend because of what he has become and it sickened me to my core. I don't want to be that guy and I don't want to hurt people around me.
I have a good life and it's come to the point that I fear for my future. My girlfriend has enough problems of her own that I try to stay strong for. But if I keep going on like this, I will collapse in a mess in front of her and she doesn't need that.
Today is the first day I have tried to do something about it. I found out what self exclusion was and I have done it from the site I was using. And just in case, I also purchased software for 2 computers to block all the sites which costs me £130+ because I thought it would be worth it.. when I downloaded it, it told me my account expired yesterday! Talk about irony! Paying a lot of money for software to stop you from spending more money, then it doesn't work! Anyway, I have contacted them and waiting for a response.
I hope to talk with other people on here with similar experiences. I have friends at univerity but they don't take it seriously so I hope to make some here.
Thanks for your time.
Hi Ross, welcome to the forum. You have taken a big step admitting you have a problem and coming here as soon as you have. You are obviously taking some good steps by getting software to block the gambling. Does your girlfriend or any family know about your addiction? Only ask because if there is anybody who can help take control of your finances to remove the temptation then that may be worth trying. How about setting up a diary in the Recovery section of the forum as it can be helpful to talk about your feelings and you will find there is much more support in that section. There is also lots of good advice and useful tips from people who are and have been in your shoes. I personally also like the challenges in the Overcoming gambling section of the forum to track your progress such as 100 day gamble free and 2016 gamble free threads. There is the option of contacting the Gamcare helpline to get some non-judgemental support and also counselling can be arranged. There is the option of visiting GA near to where you live to talk to like minded people. You may want to visit the chat rooms that are on here.....the times have changed so you will need to check the Chatroom section of the forum......I personally find these really useful. You will find different things help different people and what works for one may not work for another. Keep yourself busy when you get any urges and take one day at a time. It will be a long journey and you have to make sure that you don't think you can control this and just have odd bets as that is what has brought you here.
I wish you all the very best in your journey. Take care.
Hi Ross and welcome to the forum , I'm pleased that youv'e realised you have a problem at an early stage , it can take hold in a relatively short time and the longer it goes on the harder it becomes to drag yourself away .
I can understand from your post about not wanting to burden your girlfriend with your problems but having said that you di need to understand that gambling does thrive on secrecy and maybe it would help you in the long term to come clean as you would then be more accountable and not just to yourself ? , your choice obviously and only you know what works for you ,.
Maybe if you feel you need to talk to someone else, then consider the Gamcare counciling service ? , they offer 12 sessions free and it could offer you the chance to explore why you gamble and also unload a bit ?.
Youv'e put the Gamblock in place so thats a good start and also the self exclusions , also maybe look at at the way you fund gambling , you could for instance report your card lost and when a replacement arrives scratch off the security number without writing it down first ? any thing you can put between you and the next bet will make it more difficult tio gamble when the urge strikes , all this said and done, it really boils down to your willpower and how much you want stop or carry on with the downward spiral !.
This place can be quite good for getting stuff off your chest , so maybe think about starting a recovery diary to chart your progress and have a good read through others diarys to see if anything is applicable to you ? as with anything in life take what you need and dump the rest .
Keep posting my friend and best wishes and most importantly , welcome to recovery !
Alan
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