Hi! I'm new to this forum. I just lost over 14,000 in a period of 6 months from online gambling. I had taken out a loan yesterday to pay my credit cards which I started using 2 months ago after I depleted my savings account. I also just confessed to my boyfriend that I had lost thousands of pounds from online gambling. He was very shocked that he became very angry at some point in our conversation. He has advised me to get help which I refused from the start. I told him I don't need any help because I have already taken steps to solve my problem (i.e take out loan and talking to him).
He insisted I get help that's why I am here. I am embarrassed to speak to someone else (apart from my partner) about what had happened to me so I thought entering this forum can at least give me some sort of support.
I never wanted to tell him but I had to this time because I started using the money in our joint account as my last resort to recover my losses. Of course I then regretted telling him because I felt I had created a tension between us. Saying that he ended our conversation yesterday saying he will support me through this and will work it out together. He is currently based abroad and is coming home for a few days of holiday from work. So our conversations were through emails and Skype.
After losing about 6,000 in less than 24 hours this weekend, I contacted the online gaming company and asked to opt out. I have now been blocked from any of their sites.
I was devastated at the thought of losing that amount of money and I got worried sick about how to disclose the matter to my partner. That was the hardest part!
When I had paid off my credit cards and our joint account yesterday (from the loan), I felt such a huge relief. And after talking to my partner I then thought, that's it, I've solved the problem and I don't need help anymore. But I woke up this morning worrying about the days to come when I am faced with having to pay my loan.
I DO NEED HELP and just writing this thread was therapeutic for me.
Hi Ana
first good to see that you came to the forum to share your story
I will tell you straight your partner he is a good person and care about ,by asking you to seek help ,it's the right thing to do
I do think that you need help and this forum offer the best tool for your recovery
the ride will be bumpy at time but if you are determined enough to do it ,you are in a good place
by reading this forum you will make your way to a future normal life
take care and be strong
Julio
last bet 04/03/2014
Hi Ana
It's good to hear that you're partner is supportive. You are a compulsive gambler and taking out a loan won't change or solve that.
You need to be honest with yourself and accept that you can't gamble normally. You also have to accept that you are not very good at managing money.
You should hand control over all of your finances to your partner, it would lift an enormous pressure from you and give your partner peace of mind.
You are suffering from a mental obsession with gambling and your mind will always find some reason to go back, today it's the thought of paying the loan back, it will be something else next week.
I gambled every day for 12 years. I'm six months in recovery now. You'll never solve the problem but you can make it stop and lead a happy, normal life. Your finances will recover in time.
Try to find a GA group near you and give it a go. You'll find that you're not alone and they are plenty of other people out there who are willing to help you get back to a normal life.
Hi Ana - Well done on realising that you do need help - it's good that you have taken steps to self-exclude and block your online sites, but yes, this is an ongoing 'one day at a time' scenario and it's vital that you get the support and encouragement of people here who have been through similar situations.
It will be a massive help that you found the courage to tell your boyfriend and that he is supporting you. Many people find this the hardest thing to do.
Try to visit this site as much as you can, read the stories here and use them to give you strength of purpose. You will also find that by contributing to the threads and offering support to others that you will find even more strength.
Best wishes,
Joanna
Thank you for all your words of support. I am indeed determined to sort this out. I have promised myself I will never go back to gambling. And I have made that promise to my partner too. It was a very strong commitment I have made and I felt really good when I said it.
Yes, you are all right, my partner is a very good person. He gave me very sensible advises even if he was extremely mad at me.
Today at work, I kept thinking of the money I lost. I have only done it for 6 months and it's going to cost me the next couple of years (at least!) of my life to repay my loan.
This is actually the first time I went crazy with money, which is so not me. I don't agree that I cannot control my money, because I have always been very good with money until these last few months especially this last weekend when I blew 6T in one night! I know I am very good with money because I already have investments of my own (properties outside the UK) from saving my hard money. So this experience was a real blow to me. Which is what my partner is also very shocked about. He wanted to know why I have done it. My reasons were that when I started playing and I was winning, I thought it was a source of easy money. So therefore, I can have it as another income generating activity, but of course I was very wrong because in gambling you don't always win, and more often than not, you lose more than you win. I lost control.
I guess this is why I have signed up for a forum like this because I believe I can learn from others' experiences.
Again thank you all for your words of support. My next step is to find someone who I can talk to over the phone or in person to get a better sense over my actions.
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