Hi,
I hit rock bottom on 17th August 2018 and literally I hit it hard. That was the day I was sentenced to 15 months in prison for fraud I defrauded £55000 from a family member to fund my gambling habit. The day I was sentenced I knew what the meaning of your blood running cold meant. I have lost my home my dog my well paid job and friends but luckily my daughter who is 16 has stood by me. I am currently on home curfew on tag at the other side of the country to my daughter but I will be able to move back near her the beginning of April. I never thought at 40 years old I would have to restart my life but here I am. I keep busy now and haven’t gambled since leaving prison and I have realised how much this addiction hurts not only the addict but the family around them. My daughter at 15 lost everything through me gambling and that’s a hard pill to swallow for me. Well that’s me.
Evening darkside,
Welcome to the forum. What a journey you are on.
Your daughter sounds wise for her years.
Keep racking up those gamble free days my friend. Take each day as it comes. April will be here before you know it.
I too am I cg. I too defrauded / stole from a family member. Your post hit me like a lightning bolt.
Take care, keep posting.
Sarah
Best of luck in your recovery, Darkside.
It's great your daughter has stood by you. Time to look forward and start afresh.
Hi Darkside
I could not leave your post without some sort of acknowledgement.
What gambling has done to your life is horrifying and yet with everything you have lost, there is the one shining light left that is you have a daughter who has stood by you and you will be able to be close to in April. I am sure if someone gave you a choice of the one piece of your life you could retain after gambling it would be her.
I wish you every success with your recovery and rebuilding your life.
Look after yourself
Muststop123
Thank you for all your kind replies I am so lucky I have the daughter I do she has been my rock and will continue to be. I came here after watching the drama Cleaning Up and saw so much of myself in that series so far. I would gamble at work in the car while driving it literally took my life away
. While in prison I realised there is a lot of help for drug and alcohol addicts but very little for gambling but I went to an open prison and things are starting to change GA were invited in and meetings were starting to be held. I don’t think that people realise what a horrible addiction this is. I think because nobody can see the physical effects of our addiction it’s so easy to ignore but the mental effects of gambling are horrific. I was so angry and bitter when I first went to prison but now I am looking at it as a positive it took me from my non existent life and gave me time to think and look at the damage I was causing yes I have lost so much but I have now gained my life back.
Hi darkside
Very moving. I’ve gambled everything more than once and I am sure like many of us here we were not many steps away from where you found yourself. Keep posting on here, go to GA, get counselling etc. Slowly you can rebuild your life and I’m so glad your daughter has stood by you. You are right gambling has a mental and physical side and awareness of this addiction and the numbers of people affected is only really just beginning in the mainstream. Keep strong you have our support and empathy.
Bless you and your daughter darkside. Wish you all the best as life proceeds. Thx. for bringing the awareness to the prison and what a strong example of this addiction is not as respected as others. You're gonna make it. take care. everyone, take care. We deserve good stuff. tara2
Well thought I would give an update I have now developed a knitting obsession but much healthier than gambling. I bought some wool and have been knitting a blanket non stop but the way I see it I have an addictive personality and knitting won’t harm me. I am on my own at the moment in the bail hostel which is nice as there is a lot of peace and quiet but also very isolating as nobody around here wants the house here due to a lot of trouble caused in the past. I am still gamble free and taking a day at a time.
Hi Darkside
Good to hear from you. Yes I think a knitting addiction is fairly safe ground! I would definitely swap it for gambling!
It will be much easier in a few months when you’re out of there and closer to your daughter. Keep doing what you are doing and take one day at a time.
Hey darkside. Read your story and I know it could easily have been me. We all know how you feel, things will get better. Try and stay positive and keep your chin up.
Hi Darkside
Your story is real moving and as others have said there are lots of people on here who have probably only been a few steps from your situation.
I guess the beauty of life is that it is never to late to change it by changing our thoughts and thought processes. You are blessed to have a daughter that has stood by you and she can give you strength to make the next 40 years better than the last.
It's great you have found a hobby to occupy your mind, especially one that isn't destructive.
All the best
Dave
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