I just don't understand myself sometimes

Hey guys, wanted to do a quick post just to introduce myself and say hi.

After reading a few of the other posts on here i can already see that i'm in the right place and that my story is much the same as anyone elses but here we go.

I've been gambling on and off for about 10 years now, generally nothing too drastic and i've had many spells where i wouldn't gamble for well over 6 months with no issues, however, over the past couple of years i've had a number of spells which have ended up costing me a fair bit of money. I would point out that this was after a couple of VERY nice wins, but that's how it grabs you isn't it?. Anyway, my fiancee hates gambling with a passion, largely down to her Ex, this was part of my motivation to stop initially along with being sick of being broke whenever i gambled. Being broke then led me to take out loans etc which i proceeded to gamble and so the cycle continued. I'd beenm doing pretty well, or so i thought until last friday when i had a relapse. Now i might have only lost £60 but i was so disgusted with myself i was honest with my fiancee (she has now kicked me out). The worst thing is that i have always been more than aware of her hatred for gambling and the likely outcome of me doing it but for some reason, on Friday afternoon i totally forgot all the negatives and just did it. It was like i was in a daze and just didn't think, that has got to stop.

Obviously i'm trying to patch things up with my Fiancee but i need to stop this for my sake as much as for hers. Hope you all don't mind but i think having these forums to vent / chat to other people in a similar position will help me a great deal.

Wow that was a bit of a rant lol.

Right 4 days not gambling and counting 🙂