Hi,
I joined today after I finally accepting I need help and have no control over gambling. I started gambling at University, I have always enjoyed playing poker and found that over the years when I stook to that I had more control over what I was spending. I went through phases of playing roulette and blackjack and betting on horses which always seemed to spiral out of control. Many times I have managed to keep away from these but over the past 6 months I started to play on fixed odds betting terminals in the bookies. It gradually built to a point where I lied to people I care about and kept things from them because of shame of my habit. My family had told me to get help in the past but as i felt i still had control I never saught help. Finally last week after losing my months wages in 3 days I did something which I still cannot understand. I took £800 from the safe where i work and lost it on the machines in the bookies. I then later that night took a further £2500 trying to win the money to put back and lost it all. I am disgusted and ashamed more by the affect this is having on people I care about than myself. I immediately handed myself into police and am awaiting a court date. Even if I avoid a prison sentence I am left with no money and no job. I feel embarrassed ashamed and stupid that all the nights losing my money and walking home from the casino or bookies did not make me realise sooner. I am afraid of the fact I am now unemployable and don't even know where to start.
Grateful for any responses
Hi ukm1988 well done for owning up. It's such a shame to read your story. I'm guessing, but from prior experience the judge may tell you to go to GA. I don't know how it affects your job prospects, you must be clever you went to uni! FOBT's are a Massive problem. It's unbelievable how much money they take. I wish you luck in court. Try and get someone to manage your money for you.
wow. you had to have some balls to go into police. you are brave enough to overcome this evil addiction. be strong my brother and try to learn the most possible from the situation, because living is learning. all the best
Thanks for the reply Merr go round. As soon as I have income again I will be doing just that. I should have done it a long time ago because I just cannot stop myself chasing a loss.I just find it incredible that it is taking so much effort to get changes th the FOBTs passed. Betting live in a Casino or on something 'real' of course we all lose but it is so easy to just sit at a machine hitting repeat bet. The day I was gambling with the money I had taken I had been drinking heavily and they even allowed me to take the £50 limit off without question. I understand that my actions are my own and that I am completely to blame. It is just the complete lack of regulation that is so hard to accept.
Whilst I did go to uni, i never completed my degree, a huge reason for this was the gambling back then... and i have continued the cycle... so my stupidity has always taken over what brains I do have!
Thanks for the reply Merry go round. As soon as I have income again I will be doing just that. I should have done it a long time ago because I just cannot stop myself chasing a loss.I just find it incredible that it is taking so much effort to get changes th the FOBTs passed. Betting live in a Casino or on something 'real' of course we all lose but it is so easy to just sit at a machine hitting repeat bet. The day I was gambling with the money I had taken I had been drinking heavily and they even allowed me to take the £50 limit off without question. I understand that my actions are my own and that I am completely to blame. It is just the complete lack of regulation that is so hard to accept.
Whilst I did go to uni, i never completed my degree, a huge reason for this was the gambling back then... and i have continued the cycle... so my stupidity has always taken over what brains I do have!
The one good thing that hopefully will come from this is that you will learn a lesson, you are young enough not to waste the rest of your life gambling all your money. Learn from this, try not to gamble today, make something of yourself
Hi
Standard advice is for the gambler not to be bailed out but in this situation I would make an exception and ask if there is any way at all of legitimately getting the funds to repay your firm? If they get the money back they may not be interested in pursuing a court case. You will lose your job but if you can make some gesture of reparation you may be able to negotiate a reference that doesn't damage your future employment prospects. Even if you can't do this it would be a good idea to show and have on record as much remorse as you can at any disciplinary meeting. Keep notes of everything you submit as potential evidence to the court that you are doing your best to turn over a new leaf.
It goes without saying that you must take every step you can to ensure you can never gamble again but even if this does proceed to a court case showing you have arranged counselling, got yourself to GA and taken proactive steps to restrict your access to gambling may be noted in your favour.
Hi Lethe
Unfortunately there is no way I can get the funds to pay back, although I will offer to pay it back over time as soon as I am able to start. I have not returned to work, I was such a mess when I had done it I spoke with someone on the phone before I handed myself in, but could not go back. I am going to seek counselling and help immediately. I plan to write to my employer and epress my remorse to everyone involved. Mostly because there were some people there who were friends. Thankyou for the advice. Just angry with myself it took this much to wake me up and make me see help.
Hi ukm :)).
I stopped playing the Fobt's in the bookies just shy of 2 yrs ago after finding myself here , I chucked vast amount's of money in those over the years and can empathise exactly how hard it is to break free and walk away from them .
Sometimes youv'e just got to stop for a while and think about the lack of logic pumping in the sorts of money were talking about in the hope of getting a maximum return of £500 very occasionally . When I began playing them the maximum payouts were happening thick and fast and it wasn't uncommon to get 2 0r 3 number repeats on a big payout , I'm pretty sure this was designed to suck us all in to chasing for more of the same ?.
Your obviously not stupid , gullible maybe just like myself ? but you will never beat them my friend and the only way to leave them behind is to let them win and walk away , just accept they'll always beat you and forget the losses .
Look on it as a life lesson that has been at a cost but one that could end far worse if you carry on .
I wish you well my friend :))
Thanks Alan, well done staying away from them! I completely agree with the lack of logic. I sat yesterday just thinking how much I had put in compared to how many maximum payouts you see. Makes me wonder how they can claim the 97% payout really. I certainly don't see how it is the case. I am determined to sort this out and stay away. However hard it might be
Have work been in contact with you? If they plan to take disciplinary proceedings there is a process they must follow to the letter. If you're in a union you can ask for their advice and support. It may also be a good idea to visit your GP to get stress or other issues diagnosed and documented.
I will be going to my GP on Friday. The only contact i had was over the phone, but work don't have my up to date address. The police do. I really don't know what work intend to do. I had really thought I just wont go back and there will be no point in a disciplinary process, and just focus on the legal process.
Hi ukm.
Thats a positive step approaching the police and its even better that you plan to write expressing remorse. Yes its a mess but thats a gambling addiction and you have to take some comfort in knowing that you are not alone.
Its a road down. I was already using my parents a a free loan and I cant say that I wouldnt have stolen elsewhere. I was lying to them to obtain money I would never have paid back. So you dont need to feel alone that your circumstances are unique. To err is human and a gambling addiction will take anybody down the wrong road fast
I feel you should get to a GA meeting now and you can come up with some plan of reperation with interest, it only helps your standing. Some work with the church or volunteering will be great and look great
It is a recognised addiction and anybody that understands the addiction knows the thought process of taking money to pay it back or chasing behaviour. The addiction is saying what can it hurt the money will be back in the safe tomorrow morning..... but of course its ignoring the reality of gambling odds. That is the mind control addiction talking
Thats essentially what we were all doing...oh my next giro payment will be back in for food plus the money I lost last month...yeah fat chance!
Openness and honesty is your continued way forward. If people understand the addiction they will cut you some slack and perhaps you can negotiate. I can assure you there are jobs and self employment that isnt so reference heavy.
There is actually no shame in admitting an addiction took you over. I hope there are people close you can talk to. Is there any possibility of a loan to cover the amount taken as it moves your repayment structure to a better place and may avoid action being pusued.
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
Thanks joydivider.
A loan won't be possible, I used them in the past and missed repayments so my credit rating is too low even for bad credit lenders. Thankyou for the support, it is good just to hear from others who can understand as even the people who stand by us can't fully understand it. I will look at volunteer work and continue to be open and honest. I am also fortunate tohave people around me who are being more supportive than i probably deserve. I just need to keep working to reward that faith and support!
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