I need help.

The people you lose is the worst.

Hi distraught, welcome and thanks for sharing your story. I'm fairly new and still at the stage of convincing myself to abandon this road of destruction and the idea that I can make back my losses matched betting which is completely counter productive for me.

Do you feel ready to join Gamstop / can you make yourself do it? I'm learning fast that's step 1. Overcoming all of the mind blowing feelings comes next, but at least you will be safe that from that moment it can't get any worse.

I feel strongly more should be done about the gambling market in the UK. Smoking is bad for your health we all know, and is targeted so publicly with anti/stop smoking campaigns. Gambling is so destructive and complex, but adverts etc glorify it. Even a recent hugely popular reality tv show, harmless viewing, was sponsored by a gambling site. It made me feel sick seeing it at the start of every ad break whilst i was chucking hundreds away a few weeks back.

Keep at it distraught, turn those gamble free hours tonight into days, then weeks and beyond.

Thanks smudgey. I always feel and want to stop gambling completely, its when i get a trigger i go back to square one. The debt is the worst, just drags you down constantly and in a way drags you back to gambling. I’m so fed up with gambling now and how its ruining my life. This is it for me, i need to stop. Its stop now or go off the edge.

The depression is real and is setting in now. The realisation of my actions and how its more than able to crumble everything I’ve ever worked hard for. Any advice on overcoming this point would be helpful.

I try to be a positive person but I must admit I recognise myself I’m now constantly negative, about anything, negative, I haven’t got a positive thing to say. My actions caused this.

Here is where you may want to speak to an expert? Online chat with Netline on here perhaps? I can only offer platitudes I fear, a wise man once said to me to look for something beautiful every day. And me, when it gets too much I take my dog for a walk, get on with some work, and lately, read success stories in here and imagine that I can do it, and I can be the change. But it sounds trite really, and I think you have to find what works for you. What is your motivation? What will refocus your mind? Work? Family? I'm really sorry your going through this. The anxiety and helplessness is awful.

Keep ur head up mate we all make mistakes. I’ve stopped since the new year does get a bit easier and it’s only 10 days for me. Keep coming to the site tho it’s helping me. First milestone 4 days then it gets better focus on getting through each day but keep 4 days in ur mind bud make it a challenge for you.

Lil30 wrote:

Here is where you may want to speak to an expert? Online chat with Netline on here perhaps? I can only offer platitudes I fear, a wise man once said to me to look for something beautiful every day. And me, when it gets too much I take my dog for a walk, get on with some work, and lately, read success stories in here and imagine that I can do it, and I can be the change. But it sounds trite really, and I think you have to find what works for you. What is your motivation? What will refocus your mind? Work? Family? I'm really sorry your going through this. The anxiety and helplessness is awful.

Thanks for the wise words Lil, in a strange way though my brain tells me I deserve this feeling, ive earnt it so put up and shut up kind of thing.

I like that quote, its definitely one to remember, positive in every single day from tomorrow onwards!

Believe it or not, I’m probably the tightest guy there is that will go and blow thousands on gambling.. the depression comes from the debt, I may aim to get a second job to clear it quicker but its hard with a family, catch 22 isnt it. The support on here is amazing though, definitely a favourite in my laptop now, i need to be told dont f***g gamble now and again.

Matthew4788 wrote:

Keep ur head up mate we all make mistakes. I’ve stopped since the new year does get a bit easier and it’s only 10 days for me. Keep coming to the site tho it’s helping me. First milestone 4 days then it gets better focus on getting through each day but keep 4 days in ur mind bud make it a challenge for you.

Thanks mate, much appreciated. Its good to see people in the same position and knowing these sites and casinos are literally leaching off the people. I think i could quite easily go nuts otherwise! Each day as it comes mate but more determined than ever.

When you look at your online banking and just feel sick. That one. Gonna be a rough night

Distraught1 wrote:

Thanks smudgey. I always feel and want to stop gambling completely, its when i get a trigger i go back to square one. The debt is the worst, just drags you down constantly and in a way drags you back to gambling. I’m so fed up with gambling now and how its ruining my life. This is it for me, i need to stop. Its stop now or go off the edge.

I know we are in constant battle with ourselves. Gamstop takes one side of that battle away though so you can then focus on rebuilding your emotional wellbeing and at least stop increasing the debts.

You mentioned below you are tight with money. I am too, ridiculously so. But the addiction removes all value of money and the online aspect stops us registering it as real money that we are chucking away.

Hi Distraught1,

First of all i want to tell you a little about myself. Im 63 and wasted most of my life gambling since my early teens.Lied cheated racked up debt and destroyed most who ever loved or felt any affection for me.What was most interesting about your post was the fact you said youd tried counselling and it didnt help.

Ive just completed 12 sessions of counselling and on my first visit she asked if id tried counselling in the past.I said YES BUT DIDNT WORK FOR ME. It was at that point i realised that i was dealing with one of the most frank and honest people ive ever came face to face with in my life. Her reply was its not that counselling didnt work for me but at that that stage in my life i wasnt ready to stop.

After the 3rd session dumping all my shame self loathing and regret on her she said something ill never forget.WHAT YOU GONNA DO AL ? CONTINUE TO WALLOW IN SELF PITY OR LET ME HELP YOU AND START LISTENING.

Whats my opinion ?. I met the most wonderful professional ive ever met in my life.Sometimes the truth is the most bitter pill any patient or addict can swallow. I was set a diary timetable whatever you want to call it and had to go each week wth a diary of my mundane boring life hoovering dog walking, cooking,gymn and believe me she never missed a trick if i got slack.

With xmas fast approaching id lost control of my finances and handed them over to my long suffering wife by this time and i was stressed to bits knowing shed spoil me rotten andi barely had enough money to buy her a bottle of perfume. Carol (my counsellor ) told me me to discuss these anxieties with my Mrs and agree a set budget how much we could afford to spend on one another and not to excede that budget as this kind of stress and worry are TRIGGER POINTS for a CG.

As a result of my 12 sessions with this wonderful woman can i look anyone in the eye and say I Will Never Gamble Again ? probably not. But what i can honestly say is as a result of my 12 sessions ( bear in mind this is a charity who struggle to find financial support ) im better equipped than ever ar recognising the pit falls and trigger points that could take me back to the pit of dispair i spent so many years trying to claw my way out of.I think the people who knock counselling or say it doesnt work have already made up their mind its not going to work before engaging seriously in their first session.

Stay Srong Dont Knock It Till Youve Seriously Tried It

AL

Distraught1 wrote:

When you look at your online banking and just feel sick. That one. Gonna be a rough night

I wish you all the best. Life is going to be tough for a while, but not gambling needs to become the new normal for you. This next period is going to be really tough. Living with regrets related to the addiction is really hard. Just take one day at a time and be proud for each day that you manage to stay gamble free.

Hi Distraught,

I can fully relate to your posts and like you roulette has cost me dear , over six figures over the many many years. If only I could turn back the clock! I had to do something and have managed 51 days without it! Now for me that's huge. By putting the blocks on stops you. I have been tempted since because as you say when you've no money that's certainly one thing that sucks you back in but ultimately costs you more and more. I understand the thought process, stake £200 and maybe get to £2000 or higher stakes and higher profits but it doesn't work and even if it did we only give it back with huge interest. All logic goes completely out of the window. Give it a crack, NO ROULETTE. If you manage that then you'll slowly chip away at all the debt. I hate it and it'll be a very long time before I'm clear but you've got to start TODAY. I wish you luck, hard times I know.

Cheers Stew

Thank you for all the support, I’ve known about gamcare for a long time but I can already see signing up was a good move. It’s definitely going to help me through this period of hell to becoming a better person.

The next morning is always a strange one.. seeing all the charges going on is a twist of the knife.. I’m trying to concentrate on this being a brand new day and that I can be a better person.

Has anyone has experience with managing debt and gambling...do lenders help and accept gambling as a reason to help? Some personal experiences on that would be helpful..

Hi Distraught,

Best place to start is by getting in touch with one of the debt agencies, Stepchange or the CAB, they will give you the best advice possible. They will help you make your payments more manageable an although this will affect your credit rating, that may not be a bad thing if you want to stop gambling.

Fortunately I haven’t had to go down that route this time (I did about 15 years ago) there are many people on here who have and may be able to offer some better advice on it.

You say counselling hasn’t worked in that past for you but what about GA? Big step to take but one that you wouldn’t regret.

All the best.

ITD