I need help.

Hi Distraught1, like a few peopel have already said is it that the counselling didnt work for you? or was you not ready for it? for me i had counselling 5 times always stopping after 4 or 5 session cause i had off loaded and felt better by that point, it wasnt until i got to the point where i knew i needed to try and stop for good or lose everything around me, that i went back to counselling and demanded that i be made to do the full 12 sessions or whatever it took for me to get to the point where i felt like i was in control of gambling and that these days it would be a choice to gamble, not the need or addiction kicking in. best advice is talk to those around you and be open and honest, yes they maybe upset and disappointed in you, but im guessing no worse than you already feel about yourself? talk to the bank too maybe get rid of the overdraft once things have been repaid? just rememner every step is a postive step and the only person that can really help you is you. you did so well stopping for 6 months, aim to beat that this time, set goals and targets. and keep using the forum to talk to people and read their stories too and take from it what you can to help you in your own journey against this addiction. all the best in the future

Tough day today.

I think stress is a trigger for me. Work and family life not helping having zero time to myself just makes me wanna escape and gambling did that. Gambling was the escape. Be interested to hear some peoples coping mechanisms if they suffer the same triggers.

Staying strong now but when stress is involved common sense starts to go out the window.

Hi again distraught, hope things are still going well. I and probably most people here understand the urges and I certainly say that stress is a trigger for me. Also avoidance I think, I would play online rather than doing work etc that I really needed to be doing. I’m a mental health professional and I’m great at giving advice but it’s so hard when we are doing it for ourselves. I’m in to mindfulness and relaxation, for me that helps but it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. Depends what floats your boat but I am a big fan of writing things down and using worksheets etc- so doing like a pros and cons of gambling, then looking at it when that urge hits, just really in the hope that I can reach the logical side of my brain. Being on the forum has really helped me and I am 10 days gf now. Can’t believe it! Gambling was dragging me down and I think when I realised that I was seriously wasting so much time missing out on my family etc, alongside being a sneaky liar (which goes against everything I’m about) , I looked at what I wanted for my future- and it’s not that. Yes it’s hard because our brains have become so accustomed to getting a fix from the slots or whatever. The main thing that helped me though was to stop looking backwards at how stupid I have been and the mistakes I made- that’s done, I can’t change that and must have self forgiveness or I can’t move on. Today is today, I try to be the best I can be right here , right now. I know you can do this and I hope all my waffle makes sense haha Take the support from all the lovely people here and you will beat this! 🙂

Hi Tracyd!

Thank you for your wise words and congratulations on the 10 days GF!! Doing amazingly well. Definitely some good suggestions there. I think with the stepchange things all on going etc once there in place I’ll feel a little more relaxed. That on top of work/life stresses its easy to get sucked back in, although Like u said this site has helped no end, reminds u of the misery caused by gambling. Glad i came on here yesterday instead of giving in to urges which i would have done in the past. Paid last week and not a penny is going to those disgusting companies! Committed and determined 🙂 keep strong !

Good for you! It’s so hard , it really is- but the alternative is staying stuck in that terrible place you were in before. It will get better, just hold on. Once stepchange are in control of your debtors properly, it will be a huge weight lifted I promise. Lenders comply with them and they will stop hounding you . You keep going and remember that an urge WILL wane, it has to. Just do whatever you need to do to get through those horrible phases and they will get less and less. Keep going and be proud of how far you have come x

Just a little note to show that you’re not alone in the urges department. I got some unexpected money in the bank today- only 40 quid but my god, that little addiction demon whispered ... go on... you could make a lot more... I read threads on here, read my own diary, remembered that TERRIBLE feeling and I beat it today! I paid a bill instead and it felt amazing. In the past I would’ve tried to work around the Gamstop system and register somehow and then, inevitably feel disgusted and ashamed. I suppose my point is, get past that urge and the outcome can feel wonderful. The more we can do that the more we can adapt our old habits and behaviour. Keep going please- do not give up and recognise how wonderful you are to have gotten this far.

Well done Tracy and well done distraught!

Tracyd wrote:

Just a little note to show that you’re not alone in the urges department. I got some unexpected money in the bank today- only 40 quid but my god, that little addiction demon whispered ... go on... you could make a lot more... I read threads on here, read my own diary, remembered that TERRIBLE feeling and I beat it today! I paid a bill instead and it felt amazing. In the past I would’ve tried to work around the Gamstop system and register somehow and then, inevitably feel disgusted and ashamed. I suppose my point is, get past that urge and the outcome can feel wonderful. The more we can do that the more we can adapt our old habits and behaviour. Keep going please- do not give up and recognise how wonderful you are to have gotten this far.

*This!!*

I think comments like that are sum up the reasons why I knew joining this site was the right thing to do. Honestly beating the urges are is an achievement not to go unnoticed, well done tracyd, that comments made my day for me and really adds strength to this fight! Each urge beaten makes the next one a little bit easier.

Really appreciate your kind words they help no end. All lenders now been contacted by stepchange and 90% sure arrangements in place so I can repay and (glady) get no further debt. Find myself concentrating on family more and being able to put my head down at work more too, the weight is slowly being lifted, each day GF is an achievement for us! Keep going strong - you’re doing amazingly well.

And thank you Stelvio, bit by bit and long road ahead, think I can speak for myself and tracyd when I say the determination is stronger than ever. Roll on a debt free gamble free happy life!

Thanks both 🙂

distraught, sooo glad that stepchange are on the ball and have everything in order- they are really good. Also lovely to hear that now the pressure is off a bit you can focus more on family and work. So glad my post gave you a boost- just take this day by day and we will get there. It’s tough but the rewards will be worth it when our self esteem, self belief and confidence in our ability to beat this are right up there! Keep going and ride the waves of those urges. You will come out the other side and be prouder than ever! 🙂

Hi there. Thank you for sharing your problem with us. I don't have what to say moreover that people have already written here but I am sure you can always count on our support. Good luck, I believe in you.

14 days GF!

Thanks for the support.

Woohoo! Well done :)))

Thank u 🙂 how you getting on tracyd? I do find myself getting urges to play from time to time tho do you?

Hiya- I’m really good. Yeh I absolutely do, it’s like a real wave comes over me and I do have to fight it but it passes and I know it’s just my brain playing with me. I’ve noticed it’s when I am a bit bored so I am just trying to keep as busy as I can really. I also don’t have money in my account and am using cash only - this way I know that the urge can’t take over and allow me to gamble, even if I let it you see. It’s working and as time goes by, I’m thinking about it less. It used to be all consuming and I would wake up thinking about it. Not a good way to live really 🙁 how are you coping with the urges? Any strategies working for you ? 🙂

I know exactly what you mean, its pure will power for me at the moment, and the fact im getting about 3 letters a day about my debt management plan lol, its a good reminder of where gambling has got me. I just try to think about that, i do occasionally watch other people gamble on youtube etc, makes you realise how fixed etc it is. Although i know thats not a good thing to be doing either. Id like to stop that as well down the line. But as long as none of my money is going towards gambling i know each day I’m winning.