Hi, I'm 26 years old and gambling has taken away all my savings. I've currently been putting any leftover money each month into my savings account for my 1st mortgage with my Girlfriend. I've been using an online app since Aug 2013. I only bet on football. It started with small bets on accumulators and then the stakes just kept on getting higher and on match results and 1st goal scorers. Today I'm left with no money in my savings account and feeling gutted and angry with myself. I've won bets, maybe what's kept me interested. I think the better way of living makes me gamble, I've dreamed of just walking into a travel agent and paying for a holiday. But the money I've lost I could of booked that holiday for the summer. I just don't understand why I've got into this viscous cycle of winning money and losing more! Chasing loses and hoping your bank balance will be back to normal after the football match has finished. I have a lot of spare time on my hands and use a smart phone. Why I think I started to gamble, through Boredom. Gambling then become my life, I found I couldn't go without gambling on football if there was a game on! Making stupid bets and losing lots of money ! £10 stake soon became £100 and recently I lost £1000 on one game. That has opened my eyes to what is happening to me and what's made me ask for help? This week I've felt sick, not been eating and feeling depressed. My girlfriend asked why I'm looking down and I told her it was down to a stressful week at work. I am too embarrassed to tell her what's happened to me since the start of 2014. (Stakes on bets getting out of control)
Going forward.. I've deleted my app from my phone and get paid tomorrow. Luckily I'm not in any debt but I've lost all of my savings which was supposed to go towards buying my 1st house this year! I now have to start all over again from £0.00. It's going to be a long journey and I'll have to find something to fill my spare time to stop the thoughts of gambling. I have enough money to pay my bills this month and enough to get by. But knowing I've thrown away my savings is making me feel depressed and a sick feeling in my stomach. I need to get over it fast and think it's the best thing that's happened as it's opened my eyes to gambling and what a monster it is! It ruins your life! I am very social and go to the gym but since my loses I've not been going gym and putting off social events as I feel depressed. If anyone can give me some advice on how to stay positive and move forward with my savings and my new life without gambling I will be very great full to hear from you ?
Thank you for reading
Al.
Hi Al, welcome to the Forum and well done for posting what you have here,
The vicious cycle of winning money and losing more that you speak of is based on the fact that the euphoria of winning means more to you than the actual money itself.
If you win, you crave more of that sensation that got you there, which means betting at higher stakes and invariably losing. If you lose, then you face soul-wrenching desperation to regain what you have lost, and then spending money you don't have. The bottom line is that you can't win because you can't stop.
A lot of people have what they perceive to be a "good run", and then overconfidence leads to getting too deeply involved - if things fall your way, then you may do well over a short period of time but the amount of gamblers who make a profit after a five or ten year period is almost nil.
I lost £350,000, two homes, two partners and everything I owned, more than once. How does that make me feel? It makes me feel lucky, because I have stopped for five years and I could have made things even worse. That is the mindset you have to adopt my friend - you have lost your savings, but imagine if you stopped now, for good, and re-read your post ina few years time - there is little question that you would feel immense relief that you didn't get into debt, you didn't lose your girlfriend, and you didn't significantly damage your relationship with your friends and family.
Stopping left me some gaps that I needed to fill, so I started doing charity work, did writing, singing, went hiking, travelled and so much more; these things give me genuine happiness and fulfillment that gambling never could; you have time and youth on your side my friend - there are a lot of open doors at your age so I would force yourself, push yourself to make the best of the spare time that you do have. There will come a time in your life where any kind of free time is a luxury - trust me on that my friend; don't look at boredom as a hindrence, look at it as an opportunity.
If you want to be positive, then write a plan of what you want from the next five years, what you want to do with your life and what you want to see - it will give you focus and drive, particulary when you are feeling depressed; this is what counts now, not what you have done and what you have lost - draw a line under your past and move on my friend; you have a big hand in your future but none in what has gone before.
You come across as a decent, intelligent person my friend. Most people (myself included) come here when it is far too late - you have crossed a line when it comes to losing money, but the damage can be addressed, and there is still a road back which is hugely important - cherish it, value it my friend; these urges are only temporary, they soon pass, and they will lessen significantly over the passage of time.
Well done again my friend - be strong, be positive; if losing your savings drives you to never gamble again, then it will be best investment you ever make in your life - if not, it will just be another painful memory, amongst what could potentially be a lifetime of painful memories.
JamesP
FtNtHi. I'm new here. Erm where Do I start. For me it all started with the MobIle gaming site won 1500 on roulette and then 1400 a week later feeling that buzz so quickly made me craze it. After dwindling my winnings back I ploughed more money into it. I then start going to the casino and betting 300 a time and losing. I couldn't earn what I wanted to gamble so thank god for the pay day loan people. With them by 6 payday lenders 3000 plus 1500 on credit cards I exhausted everything then it was time to come clean and own up to my partner what I'd been doing. She was shocked but very understanding and tried to find a relative to take a loan out to consolidate it all.
The day we was to find out if we was successful in raising the funds I took my last payday of 500 went straight to the casino and gambled it. That day I managed to walk out with 7500 I couldn't believe it. I phone my partner and she informs me that a loan wasn't ment to be as no one could get one for us. Then I told her what happened. We were both over the moon that everything can be paid and we still hadmoney left.
So after paying it all back and convincing my partner I wouldn't do anything that daft again I was before I knew it standing in front of that wheel again. First credit cards. Then loans and iv just blown all of our rent money which is 800. I walked out like eddy from lock stock. Felt exhausted. My partner found out what I'd been up to yesterday and to be honest I don't think she l want to deal with it anymore. I saw her pretty little face with her sad eyes and honestly it made me feel so so so bad.
Today iv set up a dept management for my debts and they are reasonable better than I thought actually. But I also have to sort the rent out??? Plus I know I have a problem and I don't know why I didn't stop. So that's my story. The beginning the middle and like what I found here on a miserable end. I pray to god that my partner will understand and stand by me. It's all I ever wanted. Thanks - and good luck to anyone on the road or joining for freedom. We can do it
After reading a lot of messages on here I can see everyones story is different but the same outcome. Gambling is an addiction, we all just need to find things in our life that we enjoy and takes our mind of it. Today was my 1st weekend without gambling since Aug last year after losing £1500 last week. Its been very hard today. I went for a run this morning to take my mind away from betting, cleaned my car and read a book. I found it helped a lot. With me, its my own spare time that I used to open up the app and place stupid bets !! Money I'm supposed to be putting away for my 1st mortgage. Winning is a massive buzz, you have money you shouldn't have and buy things and you say to yourself this is free stuff (With a big smile on your face) But the fact is, as soon as you've spent a certain amount, your back betting to get that winning feeling again (That Buzz) But before you know it, you've lost more than you can afford. You're left feeling sick, going to the toilet more than you should be, swearing at yourself in your head and your mood completely changes. People around you are asking you whats wrong and you have to lie. Because you are too embarrassed to tell them the truth. I can honestly tell you, that I don't want to live in this gambling bubble anymore and I'm moving on with my life. I hope you can stop gambling and find your interests to take your mind away from the casino and online gaming apps. I haven't had the guts to tell my partner that I've lost £1500 in a week (my biggest loss). Because I feel she will never trust me with money again. I have told myself that in 3 months time, I will tell her that I hit rock bottom in Feb and gave up for good. Its good that we can share our stories on this website.
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