Good evening.
I'm 37 years old and my life is disintegrating around me due to my compulsive gambling addiction. I'm not sure where to start but I've been gambling most of my adult life. I lived overseas (nz) for a number of years and the addiction became very strong whilst I was living away from my family and friends. On making the decision to return, I thought things would get better but this was naivety / delusion playing a part. My addiction has only got worse and the ease of access to FOBT machines and constant barrage of gambling advertisements makes it almost impossible to escape from. Yesterday I gambled my entire way in a frenzied 45 min binge and I now have no money for rent, food, travel not even considering Xmas. Yesterday was a very dark day, and my thought process was so blurred and had had to speak with the Samaritans. The destruction I'm doing to my family, partner and my life is untold. I've accrued about £30k of debt and this hangs round my neck like lead weights. So I'm here now. The only way I'm going to best this is GA, forums and constant attention. Thanks for reading. Andy
Hey Andy
You can beat this, as we all can. I'm new here too because I need help. There is a future without gambling, I know it and we can do it. I didn't realise I had a real problem til the past couple of weeks and I now want to be determined by new year never to gamble again. I'm going to keep coming on here for support and I hope you do to. Try to smile even if on the inside you don't feel like it. Small steps over time will turn into giant leaps. Sending good thoughts and love to you.
Janie00
Hi Andy
There's nothing pathetic about your parents being in control, they are supporting you and that's the main thing. You have immediate help from the people who love you the most and you can and will return that love and support by not gambling in the future. You have a lot of years ahead to turn your life around and never look back. It can be done, others have proven it and we are as strong as them 🙂
Be happy
Janie
Hi pal,you are not alone,I too was a slave to the fobts,and though I'm only on day 3,the sense of pride is returning,I honestly believe that by coming onto this forum and opening up to like minded individuals,you can beat this,try and forget what you've lost,cause it's gone,and think about what you will gain by never filling up a machine with your hard earned money,just last Thursday i walked out of t he bookies after a very large loss,I've never felt so low,and yet here i am on Sunday 100 per cent more positive,it's just through this forum and realising you're amongst others just like you,good luck pal!
Hello Andy,
The 30k down isn't good. But is time to stop. You can't win them back. You have to look for the future, where is no more "giving money away for free!" I am new here as well, but trust me I am already feeling better about my situation, after I joined this group. Keep your head pup and smile.
Good luck!
Andy
Snap i us to love a flutter a pound each way treble £50 win if it came in you felt great.About 6 years ago my Grandad died a very close friend he was he was my first big loss in life i never knew how to cope with his loss.So when i had a flutter i felt a bit better i am married with a beautiful wife and three beautiful kids. My gambling got out of control i never even knew how much i was spending,i have decided to seek help now for my wife and my three kids,my body can t cope with the stress there is some days like i have no control of myself which is scary so i hope this helps me
Hi Molski,
I hear you mate, its incredibly scary to think you have no control over the gambling and you can't stop yourself. I've only been on here a few days but the support is incredible and you are in the right place. You can control yourself by putting in place controls that prohibit you from doing certain things. My advice would be to be open and honest to those (that you can) around you. Once it is on the table it is easier to cope with. If you read the forums there are things you can do like hand over your bank cards log on details, never carry more than 10 with you, self exclusion etc. For me it is about being honest with myself. It will be with us for life but it's all about control, the moment that control is lost and it is a slippery slope.
I've registered with the national program gamblers clinic which provides help for you and your family to get through this.
http://www.cnwl.nhs.uk/cnwl-national-problem-gambling-clinic/
lets stay in touch mate, and if you need someone to chat with just holla.
andy
molski wrote:
Andy
Snap i us to love a flutter a pound each way treble £50 win if it came in you felt great.About 6 years ago my Grandad died a very close friend he was he was my first big loss in life i never knew how to cope with his loss.So when i had a flutter i felt a bit better i am married with a beautiful wife and three beautiful kids. My gambling got out of control i never even knew how much i was spending,i have decided to seek help now for my wife and my three kids,my body can t cope with the stress there is some days like i have no control of myself which is scary so i hope this helps me
Welcome Andy. I feel for you fella 30k in debt is not nice but I can talk from experience as I stopped gambling when I hit around 20-25k. The main thing is don't let that 30k be the worry, you can't get it back, now it is about sorting out a reasonable way of paying it back.
I don't know your personal circumstances on how much you earn but I never paid back more than half my salary each month as I still wanted to live a little and not be scrapping around at close to payday for food and rent. My plan was set over 7 years originally, yes there is a fair bit of interest on that but it is better than adding to the total and living in a world that shuts you away. I am now 100 days free of gambling but have been in recovery for over a year with the odd slip, feeling great and on track to cut my payment terms down to about 4 years.
Keep positive and use this forum as much as you can if it helps to take away any urges each day, but trust me there is a much better life round the corner.
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