Hi all,
I'm 29 years old and have been gambling since i was about 18, my vice is online slots and i've lost thousands over the past 11 years.
I've been with my partner for about 7 years now and although i know she wants to stay and help, i keep betraying her by betting online behind her back. The problem with me is that it just feels like it is everywhere and so accessible. I've tried GA and that didn't help me, i was looking for more practical solutions to my problems.
My mum knows about my gambling and is trying to help me get out of debt, i feel like i am betraying her as well as i have more support than some other people might be getting and i'm throwing it back at them.
I've been speaking to the live chat and i am looking at some counselling, today is the second time i've called in sick to work because of my gambling and i've said to myself every month this year that i am going to change but i just keep repeating the same mistakes.
My boss is due to be calling me this afternoon and scared to think what she might say if i say i have a gambling habit, i feel she will see me as a liability and end my contract.
Hopefully i can start fresh now
day 1
Your mum and your Partner - do they know everything? literally, full credit report disclosure?
Do you have direct financial resposibilities at work? whilst I'd advocate complete honesty, Personally I can understand the need to retain privacy in regards work, albeit if you can talk then it must be better for you
In my worst of times, no amount of blocks ever stopped me, they just slowed me down, every time I found a way round the block, it almost makes you creative, it certainly left me unsure of what was fact or fiction - I span so many webs I lost the plot!
My wife (clinging on to marriage by less than a fingernail right now) keeps asking me questions like 'when you told me that the car cost xxx to repair, did it really?' - my honest answer now is I don't know. She hates me saying that but it is the truth, I long ago lost the plot of what cost what, every expense was an opportunity to syphone more money
So I guess I'm saying that you have to have full committment to stopping, I'd recommend putting whatever blocks in place you can but work with 100% openness with those around you - be practical - don't talk a good game, take good actions.
Dont just handover your bank card but show your bank statement, give access to your credit files, disclose all!
I once confessed to my habit, I admitted to close to £30k* of debt (value irrelavent, it's the behaviour) but I 'forgot' about another £1,000 cc debt. This was my undoing, I had stopped at 99% disclosure, the 1% allowed me to return to gambling and skip forward two years and that 1% had grown to about 80%!!! another 99.5% disclosure and three years later the same thing.
I wish, really wish I had taken the full steps when I was 29, I didn't, almost but not quite. Skip forward 10 years and I'm back to trying again. Please dont be me.
Read the posts on by by ODAAT, Cynical Wife and Lethe (there are many other great posters as well) they have some great points to make, sometimes harsh, but you need to read it. You need to hear it. You are not a bad person but you are an addict. Get help, make the change and enjoy life
don't be me.
Dan, 38 Skint, looking at divorce. body & mind both wrecked. father to beautiful, wonderful children who will miss out on a lot of opportunities in life because I chose to gamble.
Today I will chose not to.
bets wishes
thanks for your advice Dan,
I have told my mum and OH the full extent of my problem and they are supporting me but i just don't have the willpowe to stop on my own, i've booked a counselling session though gamcare today so hopefully this will help me to stop my habit
RS
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