Hi everyone,
I'm 25, I have a very decent job and a young family. For aslong as i can remember gambling have been involved in my life. Whether it be through my dad going the bookies or my older brother playing poker. At the time I never saw it as a dangerous thing and because niether my father or brother have ever lost control of their addiction I had never realised the destructive nature of gambling.
Gambling really took hold of me at university, with the freedom of moving away to a big city from a humble northern town I feel I didn't have the correct support system around me to tackle it when it was a relatively minor issue(atleast comparitively). I would gamble my student loan, wage from working agency and lend money to gamble. I ended up coming out of university with £40000, thats normal these days right? It would be, but this debt wasnt a student loan(Which was in excess of 50k). It was a mix of credit cards, loans, payday loans, loans from friends and family and catalogues. People where coming after me for money, I was paranoid and had a nervous breakdown at the time. At the time of finishing university, the gambling became such an issue it cost me friends, my long term girlfriend and severely strained family relationships(in some cases beyond repair which I have apologised and accepted) as well as inflicting the mental torture that I believe only a gambling addict can understand.
Fast forward to now, I by some miracle got through university, secured a job and worked my way to reducing that debt to £7000 through excessive O/T. That said, I have never tackled the issue of gambling, I continued to gamble and just made it so I can't lose anything i cant afford to, however once bills where paid you can guarantee i'm online giving the rest of my hard earned money away to whichever casino comes up on google search.
I have a young family, a fiance and hopes that my life won't be a story of woe. She is aware of my gambling issue but doesnt realise I am sometimes losing large amounts of my paycheck each month. I need to tackle the problem or risk missing out on life. I am well aware of many being in worse positions, however I do not judge my torment on pound signs or casino chips, i judge it on the years i've lost, the parts of my personality which are a distant memory and the nasty, manipulative traits which have replaced them and the relationships i have damaged.
Having just spent £800 of money which could have been going towards being debt free and realising the next month will be another month without enjoyment, I have decided to make my last stand. To take the steps I need too be able to fight my urge, to take each day as it comes, to provide myself with an open support network. Having been truly inspired by some of the success stories on here I will try my best to check in daily to provide you with an update. Any davice you can give me would be fantastic
Regards
Chilli
Hi chilli. I'm the wife of a compulsive gambler. I think the best thing to do is tell your partner. Hand over finances, that is a major help. Find a GA meeting which will give you support and advice. Put blocks in place. Be 100% committed, you cannot control this unless you recognise that you cannot gamble again. Start living just for today, be honest, be honest with yourself. This is a tough addiction to beat, it will come back if you let it. You've taken the first step by coming here.
Hi Chilli,
Good news first, your 25 my friend. You are young and hard working and have people who love you.
However, as you have discovered, you are also an addict, you may not admit it but you are. You also know deep down that if things continue like this it will ruin you, and you are right it will.
I was in same boat as you but was asingle man most of my working life and was not until my late 30s that parenthood came along, with it the extra responsability brought my addiction to a head. As I never got in debt through gambling and could stop completly for long spells I was sure I have no issues, but with the resposability of fatherhood looming I went off the rails completly. Looking back now after working 20 years of my life I have very little to show for it as any extra money more often or not went to a bookies or publican.
More good news, you have spotted you have a problem and coming on here have acknowledged it, most including myself have to hit whats known as 'Rock Bottom' before we go for help. Basically we run out of road. You are no where near that. You have a young family and a good job, your obviously hard working to be able to reduce your debt so far.
You need hel;P to really beat this, get to your nearest GA meeting, open up to your partner, stop all the lies and come clean. Get stuck into the 12 step recovery program and you and your family can live happy gamble free lives. Its all in your hands.
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