41 yr old man. I lost £56k to gambling over 2 years and 3 months (to put some perspective on it, my gross salary is £29k). House mortgaged up to the top. £32k on credit cards. Overdraft maxed out. Girlfriend long gone. Utterly depressed and haven't slept properly for months.
I imagine it's a common story... First few weeks I was doing okay with a decent winning streak. Managed to turn £100 into £8000 but then lost it all within a day. Told myself I'd be more careful next time... then it got so that I was chasing losses to replace the savings I had spent. Then I got into debt on credit cards and ended up gambling just to try and pay back my debts and meet my monthly bills. Utterly depressed by it all now and after emptying my account again today I've decided to stuff the debts, suffer the financial consequences of an IVA and try and salvage some sort of happiness for the last half of my life.
Problem is I'm already wanting to make just a little deposit. Can't stop thinking about it. Like I won't miss just £100, even though I already can't pay my bills this month. But I know it soon mounts up... to £56k! So that's why I'm here. Something to distract me from the gambling apps and to find inspiration for success and reasons to stay off it. I've been reading the success stories which are good. I hope I'll be able to add my own by next year. I actually feel a little better just thinking about getting off it.
Hi, gambling hey it can really hurt, i did my sums the other day, and i reckon i have lost 3.5 times your amount in 5/6 years. Like you i just wanted back what i had lost, i actually achieved it, i had £K120 available funds in a casino account, withdrawable at £K13 a month, lost it all in a day. Now i re-alise it's an extremely addicative addication, once you get that buzz of winning nothing can quite match it and you want it again (i was placing £500.00 pound bets and winning £10,800.00 a spin), but it's over for me now, i have been butchered by the gambling industry, my own fault i may add. I am 59, i have destroyed my financial future, the savings are irreplacable, i dread the washing machine/fridge breaking, the car breaking down. I should have retired next year, not enough funds to retire at 70 never mind 60. For the second time i am going to have to sell my house, to have enough funds for a life. So my question to you is have you reached your rock bottom? i thought i had several times, until i was left with virtually nothing. You have to have reached the end, i did on 22.8.2016.
Hi Bumper, welcome to recovery đŸ™‚
I started my recovery aged 41 after a 30 year gambling 'career' & the 1st thing I had to do was draw a line under my losses! There was inheritances, wages, remortgages the lot & to this day, I have no clue exactly how much I poked in the hole. It's irrelevant, one person's fiver is another's 50p & the minute we cross the line from social gambling to compulsive, no win is enough...We cannot win because we cannot stop! I thought gambling was the only possible way to claw any of my losses back & I did the, "I won't notice another £100 debt" but even with my strictest voice I couldn't stop @ £100. Truth is, I would also have noticed the £100 because by the time I came here, my incomings were less than my outgoings so I was barely treading water. Getting all the money back won't fix us as Lost has shown!
Addiction offers us so much & delivers only heartache! We often think it's about the money but it rarely is. The depression & the lack of sleep becomes a vicious circle where sometimes it's hard to tell what came 1st. Do we gamble because we're sad or are we sad because we gamble. Truth is, I didn't need an excuse, happy or sad, I gambled. Getting to the bottom of why you did it is the best chance of success & tools for this are counselling (either through GamCare or your GP) or GA.
Getting your debts onto an IVA won't stop you wanting to gamble so you will need to work on retraining your brain & get some high barriers in whilst you do this. Breaking the gambling (Time-Money-Location, remove one & you cannot gamble) triangle with things like handing over finances, self excluding, getting new hobbies needs to be a priority. Starting a diary is a good way to help yourself, especially if you have found writing cathartic.
There is a long road ahead but it's one that no-one properly in recovery, regrets taking because the path that we are on whilst gambling is a one way ticket to hell! Time to start living - ODAAT
ODAAT wrote:
Hi Bumper, welcome to recovery đŸ™‚
I started my recovery aged 41 after a 30 year gambling 'career' & the 1st thing I had to do was draw a line under my losses! There was inheritances, wages, remortgages the lot & to this day, I have no clue exactly how much I poked in the hole. It's irrelevant, one person's fiver is another's 50p & the minute we cross the line from social gambling to compulsive, no win is enough...We cannot win because we cannot stop! I thought gambling was the only possible way to claw any of my losses back & I did the, "I won't notice another £100 debt" but even with my strictest voice I couldn't stop @ £100. Truth is, I would also have noticed the £100 because by the time I came here, my incomings were less than my outgoings so I was barely treading water. Getting all the money back won't fix us as Lost has shown!
Addiction offers us so much & delivers only heartache! We often think it's about the money but it rarely is. The depression & the lack of sleep becomes a vicious circle where sometimes it's hard to tell what came 1st. Do we gamble because we're sad or are we sad because we gamble. Truth is, I didn't need an excuse, happy or sad, I gambled. Getting to the bottom of why you did it is the best chance of success & tools for this are counselling (either through GamCare or your GP) or GA.
Getting your debts onto an IVA won't stop you wanting to gamble so you will need to work on retraining your brain & get some high barriers in whilst you do this. Breaking the gambling (Time-Money-Location, remove one & you cannot gamble) triangle with things like handing over finances, self excluding, getting new hobbies needs to be a priority. Starting a diary is a good way to help yourself, especially if you have found writing cathartic.
There is a long road ahead but it's one that no-one properly in recovery, regrets taking because the path that we are on whilst gambling is a one way ticket to hell! Time to start living - ODAAT
Brilliant Odaat best post I have read. You are so right the sums of money are irrelevant!!! It's being able to stop that's key. As a CG you will never have enough money. I watched the Panorama programme last week about FOBT's the crack C*****e of the industry it was very interesting and very sad just how hooked you become.
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