I've been stuck on the slots for about 2 years. I had a problem before I met my wife about 8 years ago. Told her about it when we got together and had managed to stay away from gambling for about 6 years.
The summer before last, I started hitting the slots in local pubs; I seemed to be breaking even. Then took 500 on a machine in a service station on 10! Of course I lost it all within the next few days, but the seed had been sown.
I have a beautiful little girl who was 2 in January and my wife is stunning too. It would have been our 6th wedding anniversary in August!
Over a 2 year period my gambling has become more excessive. I migrated from pub slots to the 500 machines in Bookies for the last 6 or so months. I have a bunch of Payday loans (on a debt management plan) and my life is in tatters.
I have been so stupid! My wife wants to see the back of me (understandably). I had to sell my car to pay the bailiffs after not paying a parking fine - 'cause I'd lost all of my money and couldn't afford to pay it.
I get paid monthly and usually have very little or no money left after the first week of the month.
This month it came to a head and now I know (and have done for a while if I'm being honest) that I need help.
I really don't understand why I didn't recognise it as a problem before it became one. I had been through the whole thing before and yet I allowed myself to do it again! How could I be so stupid? How can I make sure that it doesn't happen again?
Sorry for the loathsome self-pity!
Hello billy
I really feel for you mate ,we all been there mate ,that is what this addiction turned us to
Happy that you came in this forum to seek help ,and for sure this site is the best tool for recovery
Any advice mate try to self exclusion in those bookies ,put as many barriers as you can on your way to stop you gambling
Visit on this site and the readings for many stories here will help you to beat this addiction
Stay strong ,we are winners without gambling
Julio cg last bet 04/03/2014
Hi billy - As julio has said, self-exclusion is the first weapon to use, also a blocking software if you use online sites.
It might also be useful to try to analyse exactly why and when you gamble so recklessly (and we've all done it) - is it boredom, the desire for easy money (well, we now know that's not going to happen), stress or loneliness? Sometimes if we can recognise a pattern of behaviour it becomes easier to deflect the well-worn path of gamble, win, lose, win, lose, lose, lose.
Making just one change in our lifestyle could be the answer.
Next, as well as reading people's stories in the Recovery Diaries section, have a look at the Friends & Family forum - this may help you understand this terrible addiction from the point of view of the innocent victims - wives, partners and children. I don't suggest this to make you feel even worse, but it may strengthen your resolve to start a new life with the motivation of your family's wellbeing to spur you on. Perhaps a photo of your loved ones kept inside your wallet may remind you how vitally important it is to give up this habit before you destroy your life and those of your wife and daughter.
Be strong - you can do this, and take heart from the people on this site who are slowly coming out of the shadows cast by gambling.
Best wishes,
Joanna
Thanks for the advice Julio and Baggins.
I have been to 2 meetings so far; they've been a great help.
My wife threw me out of the house after finding out that I had been dipping into my daughters savings. Both she and I are disgusted with the way that I have behaved. I don't really know how to get back from this. After a few days away, she let me back into the house after deciding that she didn't want to punish our daughter. My wife has been looking online to see how she can help me with this awful problem and I am so very lucky to have been given another chance.
I know that I can never promise never to gamble again, but I also know that if I ever do, it will be the end of the road for me and the life that I share with my beautiful family.
How ever do you get the people that you love to even begin to trust you after such a betrayal?
I've handed over all of the finances to my wife - she has changed the password for my online banking and has taken my debit card (credit cards are all maxed up). I've tried to be as honest as I can in terms of how much and to whom I owe, although I've pretty much lost track!
I'm on a debt management plan and was before I came clean to my wife, and we're going to look at my options with Step Change.
Thanks again for your advice.
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