Lost, ashamed and done with this pain

Hi ya 

I'm sorry to hear about the impact this is having on you! It's great that you are ready to make amends and put things in place to close all available avenues to gamble.

Being the affected other(my husband is the one struggling with gambling addiction)I would certainly say,please tell your wife.

Yes,things may turn rough,but it's certainly better to say now than when it spirals out of control.Im not sure if taking a loan out is also a good idea,as it juts starts to build up from them.

My husband has racked up 60k worth of debt from trying to " cover losses" and only brought me in when it became too much to manage.once he exhausted his credit line,he used mine!

This disease ia destructive! Tell her and don't fuel the flames by hiding and trying to cover up.

Good Luck!

I feel your pain here. Did a similar thing last night after pushing it way too much. 

The loan is a good idea as I think it forces you into saving that money each month by paying it off. If the interest rate isn’t too bad it’s not a financially bad decision. Just make sure you DO NOT gamble with it. 

you need to tell the wife. Ask her for help and let her manage the finances. Put that loan money somewhere you can’t access it. 

Hope you manage to sort everything. 

Honestly I spent my partners savings £1,000 but it was money he had worked hard to earn and I felt such guilt and shame I hid it from him for a month thinking I could pay it back without him noticing. When he found out he was more upset that I didn’t tell him sooner. He then wanted honest no cover ups or lies and just the plain what happened so there’s that trust still and he wanted to know that the money will return and I pay it back. Trust will always take time to build. You’re not alone and you can always get back on your feet again you’ve already done so well

Hi, 

Well done for coming on here, it’s a very brave thing to do. 

I’m a compulsive gambling, I took out loans and credit cards in my husband’s name without him knowing. 2 years ago I was in your position and absolutely terrified of what was going to happen?! Within days I was going to be faced with loan payments that I couldn’t pay and my husband was going to find out!

Please talk to your wife! I promise you, it will be the best thing you will do. Being completely transparent is the only way to beat this terrible disease. 

Taking out a loan is a bad idea (my opinion) because it’s giving you access to money and when you have money, you will gamble. You’ll want to chase those loses, but it’s only going to end up in a more serious situation. 

PLEASE talk! The addiction wants you to keep secrets and lies. I took out £70k in loans in my husband’s name and he supported me through it al. I’m now 740 days gamble free. 

Take care,

Claire x