Hi I'm new here and wanted to share my story / journey so far in the hope people might resonate.
My gambling started innocently like most people on here with the odd acca here and there. This then moved to online slot machines where I had some big wins. Sometimes I was strong enough to cash out but most of the time my brain would tell me if I have done it once I can do it again. That's where the slippery slope started I would bet bigger amounts to get the same dopamine hit my brain would crave.
In September 2024 my wife bailed me out to the tune of 10k and I paid everything off that I owed I made a promise that I would pay her back and wouldn't gamble again so blocked myself off all sites using Gamstop.
However I soon slipped back into my old ways as it was a form of escapism for me. Stressful day at work and I would just come home and gamble rather than spending time with my wofe and friends.
4 weeks ago it all came to a head and I told my how bad things had gotten, she kicked me out as she was extremely uoset and angry and I dont blame her. I have been in denial for a long time about the severity of my addiction.
I have reached out for professional help and I have attended a few sessions over the last month and I am glad to say I am gamble free for a month.
However what I am massively struggling with is the impact its had on my wife, I have shattered the trust in the relationship and made her feel lonely and I hate myself for not seeing that over the past 18 months.Â
I am determined to beat this and hopefully win back my wife with actions instead of words but I think it may be too late. I will however persevere and not give up until the very end.
Looking back through my bank statements has left me feeling very angry and upset with myself.
Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this and I hope my experience can help others.
Scott
Well done for going a month and getting help.Â
I only told my partner about 11 days ago. So not that long ago.she has supported me and I’m so grateful. I think we can only take one day at a time.use this time to work on yourself. I’m hoping to find new hobbies and interests. I need to put that time somewhere else. I have made sure at them moment I have no money available to me. I feel hopeful for the future. I understand there will be some very hard days ahead. Be strong 💪Â
@yk38lhjwzo the only advise I can give you is make sure you stick to your promise of changing otherwise you will end up like me and lose it all. I am also trying to find new interests and hobbies and just focusing on keeping my mind busy. My urges remain low and I am proud for how far I have come in a short time. Thank you for reaching out and I hope it all goes well for you too.
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