Lost Life

Hi Lost,

Oh dear, how the majority of people on this site have and still feel the way you do today.

I hated the idea of being labelled as a CG however I have accepted that is what I am and its what I do about it now is most important.

CG's are powerless over gambling, it has us licked. If we dont admit to that we cant move on. We have identified an illness within ourselves and we know we have to get help to fix it.

If we had a broken ankle we would go to Cas to get i fixed, the pain is horrific and we become desperate for good strong analgesia followed on by physio to help us walk properly again. The same applies to a gambling addiciton, we have an illness that needs fixing. We come on this site and we can go to GA which can be a life long commitment if we sincerely want to stop gambling for good.

Lost, you are 56, you are young enough to turn your life around. At my GA meetings I meet with people in their 70's and 80's who tell tales that would make you squirm.

Please set up an on-line web blocker, K9 is excellent, get somebody who knows about your addicition to keep the password, go to GA, believe me GA have saved my life and I mean that literally. I too have been where you are today, I have gambled all night on-line and been left with 80p to pay my mortgage and other bills and pay for food for the month. There is hope no matter what the mess is that we get ourselves into, we can get out but it takes commitment from yourself to do it.

You will survive this, be positive, get to a GA meeting tonight if there is one in your area and believe me you will feel better.

Read my dairy for a bit of inspiration. I have had a couple of slips but o*g how different I feel today. I am not out of the woods, never will be because I am always a minute away to my next bet but if I can stay away from gambling just for one day and take one day at a time I have won.

Best wishes - all is not lost..Lost

Hope x

Hi Lost my life

I last gambled just over a year ago after gambling all of my adult life, I am now 53. For me gambling is now filed away under one of those things that I used to do, but don't anymore. The same as smoking and getting drunk and starting fights. I was addicted to gambling and treating it as an addiction helped me plot a way out. I found new things to do, especially, but not specifically, for my brain as I considered my addiction to be primarily psychological. A year later my view is the same and my life has improved immeasurably because I no longer gamble. I would recommend GA but with the caveat that there is no great consistency within the organisation. Some groups are fantastic, others average, some pretty awful. If you let me know which area you are from, I will do some research.

Personally, I now try to help as many people as I can to beat gambling and the early days are the toughest and most important. You will have to do whatever is necessary to build up some time away from gambling, after which you will have a clearer head to evaluate your position. In my opinion the more help and support you have, the better your chances are, and the experience of those that have gone before is invaluable. No doubt you feel a bit low right now, but the fact that you have been intelligent enough to recognise that you have a problem and are prepared to do something about it are all the ammunition that you need to move forward.

If you like what I have to say, I would be happy to give you my contact details as in our GA group we always try to 'buddy' people up for support and advice.

I wish you all the best whichever path you choose to a better and more fulfilling life.

Ken

Hi guys, im new here,i need help desperately. i have been gambling online(slots) for a good six years now and lost over 45k, but i still feel that i will get my money back(what a ****** i am). gambling is on my mind 247, i have lost interest in my wife n kids,feel like a loser and suicidal at times. i have done some unthinkable things to get money just to gamble, I NEED TO STOP THIS MADNESS AND START LIVING AGAIN. Help me pliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz ,any1

Hi Billy

You need to speak to someone as soon as possible. There are people on this site that you can call immediately to get the process started. They are not keen on us leaving contact details, but if you go to my recovery diary and leave me a message, I will get in touch. You can then delete the message. If you are feeling desperate seize the moment and act right away. A better life awaits.

Ken

Thanks to everyone who has read/replied to this thread. I just want to say tonight I feel that my life has really lost its ............. interest ? .. Spent 7 years frittering away large funds which I worked hard over thirty years for, and then chasing the losses back all the time, cannot understand why I started ( buzz?. lack of happy things in my life ?) , now I feel what is the point, you lose your financial independence, you lose the ability to buy life's necessities. I think I may have anything between 0-30 years left on this earth, but nothing ever really made me happy/comfortable except financial independence, now that has gone I feel................... whats the point: don't get me wrong I have not got the inner strength to consider ending it all (too weak or maybe too strong) so depression at what I have done will lie under/above the surface for the rest of my life. I accept what I have done and I know it was wrong but ............... its the after feelings that kill you. The bookmakers should have a clinic on every street corner for people like me, I can't even afford to make it to GA as every penny counts from now on. Finally in this rant I just want to say to thank-you to the Labour government for de-regulating gambling, which allowed bookmakers to turn every street corner they own into a mini-casino. Thanks for giving me the chance to .... up my life.

If the bookmakers have your money, they don't care about you any more. They have been allowed to regulate themselves which is at best irresponsible and scandalous. Gambling, for anyone, will always have the potential to be an addictive activity as is anything that we enjoy and is recreational and pleasurable. It is a tough lesson to learn that something that starts as a bit of fun, a sociable pastime, has the power to dramatically alter our brains and our lives.

Gambling and the effects of gambling may have controlled our lives for the longest time but it has no control over our future unless we allow it to have. I have ultimate control over whether or not I gamble again as I would now have to make a conscious decision to gamble, (this was not always the case). If I make that decision then I have no control as to where that will take me. I loved gambling, it excited me, it challenged me mentally, it lifted me from what I considered my mundane life and it let me forget my problems, at least while I was gambling. When I wasn't gambling I still had to deal with reality and the paradox was that the mechanism that I relied on to cope with my problems became the main cause of my problems and I didn't even notice it happening. Gambling in the latter years did not ever solve any of my problems it simply added to them. It also took a lot of my time and bit by bit, more and more of my pride and dignity. I have not gambled for over a year and my life has changed immeasurably for the better. I find inspiration in reading, in music and in real life. A favourite poem of mine goes like this:

It Couldn't Be Done by Edgar Guest

Somebody said that it couldn't be done,

But he with a chuckle replied

That "maybe it couldn't," but he would be one

Who wouldn't say so till he'd tried.

So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin

On his face. If he worried he hid it.

He started to sing as he tackled the thing

That couldn't be done, and he did it.

Somebody scoffed: "Oh, you'll never do that;

At least no one ever has done it";

But he took off his coat and he took off his hat,

And the first thing we knew he'd begun it.

With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,

Without any doubting or quiddit,

He started to sing as he tackled the thing

That couldn't be done, and he did it.

There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done,

There are thousands to prophesy failure;

There are thousands to point out to you, one by one,

The dangers that wait to assail you.

But just buckle in with a bit of a grin,

Just take off your coat and go to it;

Just start to sing as you tackle the thing

That "cannot be done," and you'll do it.

0 - 30 years? how about 30+ years? And what you can achieve in that time, both for yourself and for others is not to be underestimated or neglected. You are a better person than that.

All the best

Ken

Hi Guys,

I am a young lad who started gambling about 18 months ago just before my 18th birthday (was getting friends who were 18 to put bets on for me) it started off at just a couple of quid every weekend when the football was on but then it slowly and slowly got higher and higher, maybe to about 5 every weekend. Not a lot I know, but then in January this year a very traumatic experience happened in my life and ever since then the problem has been around.. I am now gambling in excess of 100 a day, this is my second day of being gamble free, but I am currently having an urge to jump online to some slots, roulette or virtuals. So yeah if people could reply to this and we'll both help each other through so to say and help each other though it!

Alex. 🙂