Hi, I originally posted a couple of months ago and described my problem, once I got it out in the open I felt tonnes better, and I actually stopped...
Since then I have been promoted to a bigger job but it involves staying away a couple of nights a week. And then it started..... A bit bored and then I logged into a new site. And won a few quid, and since then I have carried on and lost about 1500 of money I don't have!!
That coupled with the circa 10k I have lost over the last 2 years!!! The scary part is that I have around 1900 to come back but I need to pay the mortgage and I owe 1000 back to a payday loan company!!! And so the vicious circle starts again!!! I know I will have a huge temptation to just gamble away that 1900.
Yesterday I had 300 in my account and this morning I have 65p. It seems I will never learn but helps posting my feelings on this forum....sorry for rambling
I am not in debt that's anyway associated to my gambling and i think that because of having no debts it is allowing me to move forward and not looking back and thinking about i owe.. My advice at this early stage is to get the payday loan paid off in full as soon as possible and then you can start moving forward. I know from previous experience that when i owed money i always had this thought consuming me that i could make this money up through gambling ... It just doesn't happen
For some reason, when I was gambling (up until a day ago) when the chips were down and things were going bad, everything seemed to turn against me. When I for example lost 500 and would deposit a further 500, I would find that I would lose 300-400 in a very short space of time with bad luck. On the other hand when I was doing well (not very often) it felt like nothing could go wrong, I won against the odds and I felt invincible. Unfortunately this is another place I fell down. From riding the crest of a wave, suddenly you flop to the ground because u are putting bigger and bigger bets on to get to where you once were but it is highly unlikely u will get back there again.
I just went on a rant there.
Regarding payday loans. I also had that problem. They are impossible to deal with. I believe that they are a great idea for someone who needs 100 quid a few days before the end of the month but borrowing 500 for me was nothing until I had to pay it and the interest back. Borrowing 500 for 2 weeks cost me 580. I simply don't have that disposable income in one pay packet
Hi in the early stages of stopping not carrying money or having access to money is a big help. I think a lot of new people on here don't realize that money is the fuel which keeps the fire burning with regards to gambling. A lot of the time a return to gambling after a period of abstinence can be a spur of the moment decision you need to buy yourself time and lack of access to money is the biggest help in this regard. Giving you time to think and assess what you are about to do.
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