Worried Sick

Lesley your not alone, just joined.. I can't stop, I feel sick. Lost £230 in a matter of three hours and how do I pay the bills. I want to stop but can't. I need help but where x

I wish I knew how to stop .... I am so ashamed of myself ...I have 3 beautiful kids every time I look at them I feel so guilty ....

I have banned myself of every site I join but always find another to join ....last year my mum paid for Christmas I told her what I had been doing and also that I had stopped gambling ..... She thinks I have stopped ' but the truth is I never stopped ....she helps me a lot financially with the kids , school uniform shoes ...holidays...ect

I can't look her in the face ...

My post tommorow will hopefully say

Today I did not gamble

I did it today and spent money we didn't have. I fell sick as we now only have £40 to cover us for a week. My mum thinks I've stop too and she's the best. The thing is I think my was part of my cause to gamble. But only I have my self to blame. What we could buy for these kids too. It's an addiction hardest one. Let's start today a new day. I think I need to keep talk instead of these horrible sites

Me too ..I get board stressed and sometimes have nowhere to turn I use gambling as an escape ...I think from depression and being alone ...,now though it is the gambling causing the depression ....I want to take the kids away this year they have never been its time to stop blaming being a single parent for that and start realizing I could have taken then more than once on holiday with the money I have waisted .... I'm here if you need to talk ...sometimes its what you need a shoulder to cry on ...I realise now that its OK to ask for help ...xx

Iv just finished listing my Christmas presents on eBay. ...how c**P is that ...need money for food ...feel shocking...low or what

Hello,

You should talk to your loved ones if possible. It's the hardest thing to do at first but then lifts such a weight off. They maybe able to help you financially too.

There are loads of things you can proactively do to try and quit gambling. I have seen my doctor about it who put me on some stress courses and also I have seen GamCare counsellors which you can get the link to on here.

We all feel terrible guilt and shame and don't want to tell anyone, that's half the reason things get so bad, chasing losses. But you quickly find out that whilst your mum/friends/family might be angry and disappointed they still love you very much and will help you.

Don't try to do it alone.

lesley6loc & Louis123,

The only way us compulsive gamblers can win is by not placing a bet in the 1st place! There are lots of people here, fighting these demons, some of us having gambled many years are now living gamble free. Some with the help of family & friends, some with the help of professionals & some just through the unwavering support of people on here! You both sound close enough to your Mum's to let them help...Can you hand your finances over to them? It's embarrassing but it sure beats the hell out of giving every last penny to Fat Cats who prey on vulnerable people to line their pockets & enabling them to become more & more powerful & suck more innocents into their grasps!

Here is a great place to be! When you next feel your urges, come & read, learn tricks how to fight. You will read about how to break the Time-Money-Location triangle & tomorrow you can come & post that today you did not gamble - ODAAT

I did not gamble yesterday .... First day in a v long time ....I seem to feel the need to gamble more when I have no money ...I spent my entire months wage on Christmas day ...and now am waiting for the bank to catch up so I can see what a mess I'm in ...it is an awful feeling but it seems like sorting the financial mess after I have had ''what I call a major binge '' is part of the ritual , if I can sort it and the bills are paid then I convince myself that I can afford to gamble ....so far I have avoided major debts but it takes a lot of effort , selling things, eBay,carboots ,overtime , not doing the weekly shop etc ...I'm very tired and exhausted from trying to keep up with my responsibilities ,financially because of my gambling ,the worry makes me snappy ,moody and because I am so busy trying to get the money I neglect my family and friends .... Money is not the only thing gambling effects , I have become depressed , I don't sleep , I don't go out any more and have started to smoke after having stopped for eight years , I can't be bothered with anything , clothes ,, my hair etc ... I don't know myself any more and I am sad ...

But ... I didn't gamble this morning as I have done most mornings for the past three years .. Two mornings in a row ...its a step

I have invited some friends over for tea , Sunday is one night I always gamble ...I am hoping my friends will distract me ... I have however played on my phone while people are there so I'm not going to charge it ...we will see ..

Hi Lesley

I spent many, many years gambling and understand everything that you are going through. For me, it all started out as a bit of fun and turned into an addiction that was ruling and ruining my life. It required a lot of discipline and determination to beat my addiction. but I really wanted and needed to overcome it, which is the only place that you can begin from.

I put as many barriers in place as I could and without them I would definitely have failed, as I had in the past. My first words of advice are to put blocks on your computer and phone, because sometimes my willpower failed me and the blocking software saved me and probably my life. I went to GA for support and it helped, I listened to everyone but only used the information and advice that I considered was relevant to me. There is no 'one size fits all' solution, so take counsel from those that you trust and who's advice suits you. I have not gambled for 18 months and I sometimes fall into the mistake of saying that I am a different person when really I mean I am a better person, because my behaviour has changed. I have new hobbies and interests to fill all the many hours that were previously taken up by gambling and a better manner and temperament. Just take one step at a time, some will be easy, some hard. I will try to help you along your journey, as I am sure will many others. If you have questions l will try to answer them honestly and factually.

Take care my friend and don't forget how bad you feel right now, because the memory will serve as a great motivation.

Ken

So many positive comments here. It does help, I don't whether it's the reading or knowing it's not just myself with a horrible addiction. Well done Lesley, me too I've not gamble for two days but I want to today as my ex always seems to push my buttons and gets me where it hurts. I need to do this alone, I could never tell my partner so with help of you people I will beat this

Thanks everyone for your comments at the moment they are a very big help ,I am wide awake and its 4 in the morning , I am just about to see what a mess I have gotten myself into this month and will no doubt be on the phone all week trying to explain why I can't pay this or that and the other .....

On a positive note I did not gamble yesterday ...

This weekend has been very long ...The week ahead is going to be hard I know that all the gambling over Christmas has been looming in the back of my mind stress and worry fuel my addiction and I am not looking forward to the next few days at all ...

Hi Lesley

It is good that you did not gamble yesterday and that is something that I am hopeful you will continue to say for a long time to come. You say that stress and worry fuel your addiction and I get that, but I used to gamble to escape my problems and never realised the paradox that in the end I was simply gambling to escape the problems caused by my gambling. I now tackle my problems head on and do not hide them away for another day. In any case, the problems were only forgotten while I was gambling and often came back bigger and more unmanageable after I returned from my dreamworld.

It is a big challenge that lies ahead of you, because most addictions are not easily beaten. I decided to forget and forgive myself the things that I had done in the past; I decided that the person I am would be defined by how I behaved from a certain day on and in the future. We all make mistakes and are entitled to do so. I didn't want to go on continually making the same mistake over and over.

A new year is starting. Let's make it a great one.

Take care.

Ken

Hi Lesley. I hope you are managing to stay strong. I too am addicted to online slots and I did my last spins Christmas Day night when I wasted yet another couple hundred pounds. I'm still like you always waiting for the transactions to debit my account and hoping I've timed things just right to avoid exceeding my now huge overdraft which has grown massively again over the past few months. I need to ensure I don't have access to any money as I always spend every spare penny and more besides. I then cut back on diesel for my car and food shopping. I really hope you are beginning to find strength from this site - I joined a couple of days ago and when I have the urge to waste time / money gambling I head straight for this site in the hope that I can get engrossed in reading about other peoples situations and maybe commenting . It's helpful to know there are other people going through the same thing and always here to listen /support.

Wishing you well.

Clare (boxingday1)

boxingday1 wrote:

Hi Lesley. I hope you are managing to stay strong. I too am addicted to online slots and I did my last spins Christmas Day night when I wasted yet another couple hundred pounds. I'm still like you always waiting for the transactions to debit my account and hoping I've timed things just right to avoid exceeding my now huge overdraft which has grown massively again over the past few months. I need to ensure I don't have access to any money as I always spend every spare penny and more besides. I then cut back on diesel for my car and food shopping. I really hope you are beginning to find strength from this site - I joined a couple of days ago and when I have the urge to waste time / money gambling I head straight for this site in the hope that I can get engrossed in reading about other peoples situations and maybe commenting . It's helpful to know there are other people going through the same thing and always here to listen /support.

Wishing you well.

Clare (boxingday1)

thanks Clare , it was the same for me ...Christmas night I blew 300 quid on a slot , and now am left trying to make amense , its going to be a struggle and sometimes I think that maybe if this week I don't manage to make ends meet and something goes wrong then that's what it will take to stop me ..I always seem to get by , its like I'm trying to get myself in such a mess just so maybe this time I won't get away with waisting my money ....It is a very selfish attitude as I do have spare money available yet instead of ,holidays , days out , ect I waist it on gambling , I want to stop before I get in a situation that I am no longer able to control ...Things ate not as bad as I thought with the bank and I am finding that now I want to play the slots again ... Going to work today but tommorow is my day off that will be the real tester ....as most of my days of are the days which I do most damage ... Praying not to slip up ...I spent most of yesterday excluding myself from sites which I use ... I have had blocking software on my computers before and managed to rip all of them to shreds in a few days ..Wednesday will be hard for me .. Not looking toward to it ...hoping to be strong ...

Yesterday I did not gamble !