Lowest point of my life

Hi Mattieb90, welcome back to the Forum, i'm sorry that it isn't in better circumstances my friend,

Did you work towards getting another job as we spoke of previously? When did you start having control of your finances again after handing them over to someone else?

You were very positive back in September my friend, you posted, you started a diary, you took on board what was said, and then you didn't follow through with it or contribute any further - you need to take a long look at yourself and find out why that was the case.

This is not judging you, but what I am saying is that you are not going to feel positive every day but you have to continue to work towards stopping for good, no matter what it takes - some days, it will be the last thing you feel like doing, but you have no choice if you want to escape the way you feel right now, and are likely to feel again sometime in the near future.

You did the right thing by telling your family my friend - this is a very heavy burden to carry around on one pair of shoulders. Keep sharing; tell them about posting here, tell them you are going to get out of Bookmaking, tell them that you are going to start another recovery diary and think about visiting GA.

Things don't have to be bleak if you concentrate on your future instead of your past my friend. That is what counts now - forget about what has happened before and work out what you are going to do with your life, and what you need to do to get through this.

I remember sitting in the Bookmakers for hours too my friend. Sometimes, I would be there from 10am in the morning until 10pm at night, and then I still didn't want to leave; it is such a horrific waste of time, particulary at an age like yours where there are so many open doors in life.

Dust yourself down and try to rediscover the mindset you had back in September. This slip is no bad thing if you learn from it and start again with renewed vigour - you will always have love and support from your family.

You have had many low points through gambling as you said my friend. How many more can you take? How would you feel if you were aged 33, or 43, still posting here, having spent years, days and nights, fretting away inside a Bookmakers. If you stopped now, you would be able to look back one day and breathe a sigh of relief - if you carry on, then that is going to be much harder, and much, much less likely to happen.

Be strong, be positive and ensure that you follow through with your diary my friend - you thought it would help before so make sure you follow through with it this time. You can get there, you can do this, but you need to push yourself as I said.

JamesP

Hello matey, well done for posting - As much as it's online ("computerworld") it is just as brave a step as telling somebody in person. Everybody here has/had the same problem and they're here only to help others, so confide in all of us pal, we'll help you out.

You gambled 1000 on dogs and horses..... That's quite a sum there matey to be fair. With this thousand, think of what you could have done with it... Holidays, gifts, savings ISAs etc etc. I've never been one to go into a bookies so i don't know what it's like, but for gambling as a whole, did you really expect to win with that bet? I'll be harsh and say that was a stupid amount of money to bet on an animal being faster than another - none which you have knowledge of. You may as well have threw it in the flood drain. What's important is you realise how silly it was. Yeah, addiction takes a lot of us, but i believe there is an US within all of us somewhere, and from being born until where we are now, we can recognise that person despite the grips of gambling. I want to see you posting a diary documenting your every event day to day. I want to see this as much as you do - and don't deny you want to see it too - You want to see that you'll be gamble free in a month's time, then a year, then 2 etc etc. Let those dogs and horses run around the course mate, and just laugh at the punters as they will all lose. Gambling wouldn't survive if it wasn't for people betting on losing results. Simples.

Take it easy matey and i look forward to seeing your diary.

JimmyC - 10/01/14

I know the feeling mate, today I lost 300 which I couldn't afford to lose! Now I'm depressed, sat at home angry with myself. Sometimes I don't even know why I do it! When I win... I lose! Can't even remember the last time I walked out of the bookies with cash in my hand.

Stay strong mate, give all access to money to someone else. That's what I've had to to today. I can't be trusted with money.

You will not win from compulsive gambling. If you win any amount of money it will act as just credit for your next bets/spins and if you lose well then the chase starts where you will lose more. Gambling is a lose/lose situation. So why bother??? The days you dont gamble will be the days that you win.

I cannot win because I cannot stop!

Linda x

Hi Matt,

I'm sure you are in a better position since you first posted but if not I can reassure you that you will be ok. I quit my job in December because of gambling and thought there was no chance I could claim benefits but managed to claim ESA through depression and addiction to gambling. I Immediately contacted my doctor and Gamcare. I know what you have been going through. Just when you don't think you can feel any lower, life surprises you. My advice my friend is to be around people who can understand your addiction i.e. Gambling anonymous. I'm going tomorrow. Good luck my friend. You have hope!