terrible relapse

Hi Urgh, sad to hear that you have experience this again my friend,

You have been on and off here since 2008 as you said and there has been some progress, I saw that you made 5 and a half months, which is a strong effort.

Time on your own can leave yourself open to temptation, but the same applies to that situation as any other - the urge that you experience will pass in time; it only matters if you act on it.

You are a good person Urgh - I have read many of your posts. The overriding feeling I get (and I say this very respectfully) is that you lack direction and focus - you research things, you read, you have ideas and motivational tools, but this, combined with the overwhelming sense of anxiety, regret and depression, leads to a mish-mash of an equilibrium.

It would help you enormously to make some hard and fast plans, then ensure that you follow through with them without exception. Not only gambling, but in life as well - I feel like everything rattles around in your head relentlessly and then some days, you resign yourself to your fate and start to gamble again.

Having something to aim for, or a plan to work towards, will give you that element of direction. There is a phrase called "Aim for the Moon - if you miss, you might just catch a falling Star" - what this means is that it isn't the worst thing in the world to fail, or for plans to not work out, but you may well get close to them.

Things are not going to happen for you overnight, and you are going to need longer without gambling to get to a place where working your way through your urges become second nature. Working towards something, little by little, will make that road towards a better life significantly shorter.

I completely agree about not counting days - sometimes it can put pressure on you unnecessarily; I remember trying a month, reaching it, and then relapsing with reckless abandon the day after - I know I have been gamble-free for roughly six years; I don't know for certain and I don't want to know.

I hope you can step up my friend. You need to take this to the next level now - you don't have to accept this, you don't have to accept this way of life but you must force yourself to get there.

JamesP

Thank you for your reply James, you are a great asset to the community here.

In between the gambling and fantasies about it, I've been planning a lot of things to make 2014 a better year.

Ongoing anxiety help group

Short term gambling therapy

Possible counselling on the cards too

Plan to be more socially active

Back to giving financial control to others

Gamcare helpline whenever I get the urge

And you are right about me, you are very perceptive at analysing people, maybe this is something you could do outside of the internet...

I had no idea I could search my older posts, this will make interesting reading...

You're very kind Urgh, I sincerely appreciate what you have said here my friend.

As I said, you will wake some days where doing something on this list is the last thing you want to do, but push yourself on my friend and try not to overthink the situation, just do it and you will almost always be grateful afterwards.

I hope 2014 is a positive year for you my friend - you are an intelligent, decent person and you can conquer this in time, I truly believe that.

JamesP