I finally admitted to my wife yesterday that I had a problem with gambling, however given she 'found out' rather than me telling her has made the situation far, far worse.
I have been a gambler for many years, and 8 years ago got 'caught out' by said wife when she saw a credit card statement with 500 after 500 listed on the pages. I told her I would stop for the sake of the relationship and for about 7 years I did (with just the odd lottery ticket and fruit machine in the pub). But for some reason it just started to draw me in again and then my wife agreed to let me have a few quid using an account in her name so she could monitor spending. However I just didn't get the same buzz as winning 10/20 didn't do anything for me (I am in a well paid job so i felt this wasn't changing my life I guess). So i setup my own account and started using that, within days I was gambling in the morning whilst brushing my teeth, as soon as i got into work and again in the evenings even whilst sitting next to my wife. Anyway she grew suspicious and after accusing me of gambling again, a few days later I confessed.
In one way i felt relieved as I could finally admit to her what had been going on and so I wasn't hiding anything from her anymore, but on the other hand I felt dread as the secrets and lies really upset her (and I can fully understand why). My marriage is now at risk and I have 3 kids that I am also scared of losing. I don't feel that she thinks I have a 'problem' and that I have just been deceitful this whole time. This morning I self excluded from my online betting account and sent her proof and confessed my losses (which this time was perhaps luckily only hundreds rather than thousands like last time as I continued to 'chase the losses').
I said I would get help last time but then thought I could get through by myself, I now realise I can't and have accepted I need to get help so have posted this. Gambling has affected my work, my relationship, my moods, but getting this off my chest feels such a relief, but a relief I am scared to show my wife in case she thinks I am belittling the situation. I really don't know what to do next and how I can get her to see this is a genuine problem...
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