My story

Hi. .and thanks for sharing your story
It's quiet here due to tec problems
You have to shut that final door...
No access to cash/card ....
Then you can't gamble. ..
Tough....yes....but can be done..
We all think we need access to both to live our daily lives...but there's ways around it love...
Provide receipts to mum/wife ..daily ...give them full acess to online bank accounts....get them checked...daily...
This can also give family some comfort knowing that they can visibly see what's going on....
I'm old enough to be you're mum love....and have kids you're age...one if which got herself into some strife a few years back ( not gambling)....and we will walk over got coals for our kids. ....I didn't like what she had done. ...but I never stopped loving her....or being there for her....
And trust ....takes a long time to be 're built. ...but my heart and arms were always open for her...
Soooo talk to mum....tell her how you feel....really feel....
Show her what you plan to do...to stop you gambling....
You're wife....I can't predict what she'll do when she finds out about relapse. ...and she will find out...one day...so I can only say. ..it's best to tell her....
Not easy....but for you to truly start fighting you're addiction ...it's got to be done love....
Give the helpline a ring...they'll support you....and those ladies in you're life. ....it can all be sorted. .
Like you.....I thought everything was so tangled and messed up that it was beyond sorting....
Stick a cotton shirt in a tumble dryer....on hot...for hours. ..see the creases when it comes out....it looks trashed !
Then take an iron and slowly keep going over it.....the creases will iron out.....because you've worked on it....because you've used the tools to do the job.....you could leave the sleeves un ironed....
But that will always niggle away at you....you'll be scared to take you're jacket off....much the same when fighting addiction love...
Do it properly....face it thourghly. .
Leave nothing in the closet. ...
Reading back....looks a load of old waffle....but I hope you get the drift.....
I'm sure the site will be back to normal soon....then you'll find plenty will come along to support you.....but just thought id say hello.....talk to mum...x

Thanks loxie

You’ve got a certain way with words but I really like the way you’ve put that! I’ve handed over control now and am puting together the repayment plan. One problem for me is that I work on the road and need access to credit cards for expenses. Now this is being watched like a hawk.

I’ve given the line a call and it’s helpful just to talk to someone. I’m going to start a diary tonight too. Just writing it all down helps x

Welcome and you’ve taken the right steps . Don’t punish yourself any more than you already are , although don’t lose sight of what you are . You are a compulsive gambler but it doesn’t mean the end of the world . There are 2 things here , a short term fix and a long term fix . Short term is the practical advice and putting blocks into place . Self exclude . Gambloc , coming into this forum and starting a diary . Honesty With yourself and others around you and learning to live life without gambling. Then there is a long term plan / effort whatever you want to call it . Some people want to know why they gamble , for me it wasn’t that important . Long term you need to work on yourself and find other more important and enjoyable things to be doing . You will soon realise that life is good when you don’t do it . Financially you will appreciate that if you want something you can go and buy it because you won’t be haemorrhaging money and it won’t be a viscous circle . It will then become the norm not to gamble whilst at the moment it is habit and something that is hard to stop . You aren’t alone and for me this website has helped me to get to 285 days gambling free and I was a slave to online casinos just like you . You will start to resent them and see them for what they really are . A soulless faceless corporation to rob you of your self respect , family and money . You are just a number to them and whatever you are going through they really don’t care . We on this website , however , do care about you and if we can help or advise in any way just ask

Thanks for those comments Mate,

The Foote coupon to solve all the issues idea popped into my head today but managed to put the idea out of my head thankfully.

How many times I went through the cycle of - deposit 20, put tenner Acca on, play 10 on blackjack to pay for the bet. Lose. Cash out the Acca - play blackjack lose . Repeat

Sick of it. It’s no way to live! 5 days since my last gamble, the weekends are always the hardest! Taking the lads out tomorrow rather than sitting around the house sulking

Even if you won you would give it all back , it’s our destiny as gamblers who have no collect button built into us . This will get easier over time , you just need to understand that it won’t work if you don’t put the effort in to make wholesale changes in your life

Get what you are saying, I need to put my energy into something new, my son is almost at the age to starting playing Foote so hopefully I can get involved with that. Running needs to start again all the things to keep my mind healthy. Long road ahead

I’ll be completely honest here , stopping is daunting but I can happily say I’m enjoying not gambling and it’s not long before you feel that way . It may feel you will be missing out on something but ask yourself exactly what that is ? If losing all your money , giving yourself stress , not sleeping , worrying , risking your family and friends is missing out , then there isn’t a decision to be made is there in the cold light of day ? You are right focus on a normal and enriched life , you won’t realise what you have until it’s too late and it’s gone if you carry on . Football sounds good and also running , anything to change your routine and to get out of the rut you put yourself in

Hi Northstander, I have been where you are, blowing thousands on bookies roulette machines was my problem, like you I'm well brought up, earn good money and am reasonably intelligent but reached my forties with nothing to show for years of work. You gambled £9000 in 15 mins because you do not know when to stop like many of us here. I do not believe you will ever stop on willpower alone, remove your acces to money/cards etc to remove all temptation to gamble. From there you can move forward with a proper plan in place and the info is all on the site to help you.

I would hate for you to get to your forties with broken relationships behind you and nothing to show for all your hard work. Believe me there are many here who have lost everything, you are still in your 20's with time on your side. I also think you should confess to your partner and hand over all your finances, it is easier when you have the support of a loved one.

All the best

Thanks for sharing your story.

Day 12 - been away for a week with work, things on that front are looking positive and likely to earn between 3-5k extra this year on commission

In the past I think part of my brain was thinking that’ll cover a chunk of the debt and I’ll continue to hide behind the illusion, no this time it’ll go back to paying the debt off bit by bit.

This is my last chance I’ll not be throwing it away!