My whole world has just fallen apart - just admitted everything - lost my job may lose parnter and child - first step

Sacha wrote:

Hi, Today I was sacked from my job (22 years)! for using funds at work which were returned - but basically theft (all paid back). All due to roulette machines in bookmakers. I had a well paid job - but was always in debt and unable to stop. I have - for the first time in my life just admitted the prolem to all my family - my partner and her family. I am at the lowest possible point but have been on phonr to advisor and have been referred by gamcare advisor to councellor. If there is anyone out there who is beyond this point would be great to hear as at moment .. i can't see any way out

Hi Sacha, welcome to the forum 🙂

Thankfully I never reached the stage where you are @ now but I have no doubt that I would have gotten there had I not reached out & got help so I guess I am beyond it, for now! I have also crossed paths (on here & in GA rooms) with a lot of people who got further along than you and many of them are also beyond it.

It may sound crazy but well done for coming clean! Gambling thrives on secrecy & I’m not sure true recovery is possible without honesty. I’m guessing your loved ones may be struggling to process it all so please let them know that GamCare can offer them support & guidance including the free counselling that you are being referred to.

I don’t know how long the referral takes & would encourage you to try & get to a GA meeting ASAP where you will find people who have walked in your shoes, who will suppprt you & can help guide you going forwards.

I’m not going to write loads more coz it’s late & so many people make one post & then disappear but I wanted you to know that people here get what pain you are in & will support you on your recovery journey if you let them! I gambled for nearly 3 decades but I’m clean now & life is so much more manageable for it so there is a way out - ODAAT

KThank you ODAAT. Yes ... it is late. In more senses than one :). I am going to be contacted by counsellor by Tue and really looking forward to a 1-1 meeting.. will also attend the next gamblers Anon meeting locally .. next week. Kind of up and down with my thoughts right now but all I really care about is losing my partner(of 9 years) my beautiful 5yr old daughter and 2 step children... The only good things at moment are that I did not get any police involvement (no criminal record) and that I am free from carrying this dirty secret for so many years (like you). ... must try and get some sleep now. Thanks

Hi try and get help for your partner. My husband gambled and got into serious debt, I couldn't see a way out. I went to gamanon and found people who gave me real advice, advice on how to get through the nightmare.

Hey Sacha, hope you're feeling a bit better today. The 'start' is always a bit of a challenge but it does get better. Just make sure that you have restrictions put in place to stop you should you feel the urge. Take care.

I am now trying to rebuild my life from scratch. If my partner does not forgive me for keeping this dark secret from her for over 9 years and for ruining everything we had then I will lose her and seeing my beautiful daughter ... we had friends staying for two nights and had to make out nothing has happened and that I am still working... I am about to apply to as many (any) jobs as possible but still not sure if my bad reference will stop me from getting any employment... could lose family and house .. I am scared .. the only good thing is that I feel liberated from gambling and know I will never go back to it in any form. Will still need counselling and want to do everything I can now to change my life ... may just be too late

Sacha wrote:

I am now trying to rebuild my life from scratch. If my partner does not forgive me for keeping this dark secret from her for over 9 years and for ruining everything we had then I will lose her and seeing my beautiful daughter ... we had friends staying for two nights and had to make out nothing has happened and that I am still working... I am about to apply to as many (any) jobs as possible but still not sure if my bad reference will stop me from getting any employment... could lose family and house .. I am scared .. the only good thing is that I feel liberated from gambling and know I will never go back to it in any form. Will still need counselling and want to do everything I can now to change my life ... may just be too late

Good luck on your quest for work, I'm not sure former employers can give you a "bad" reference though. They can say your were employed with them for X amount of time but I dont think they can divulge why you were dismissed or why you left. I think thats the case anyway, perhaps someone can confirm.

Hi Sacha sorry to hear of your situation. This addiction turns us into thieves, and sneaky people even when we do have good hearts. I would consider myself to be a good person but Whilst I have never stolen in the sense you have, I have done as good as that in lying and snaking money from people. I do totally believe and hope that what has happened to you will be a lesson learnt but don’t be complacent because I have had a ‘moment of clarity’ before and it lead to 130 aye gamble free and now I’m back at day 1. Sorry if that sounds patronising mate! I hope you get it sorted mate and be open and honest I only ever got gamble free for over a day because I opened up it’s just a shame I didn’t put some more blocks in place and keep strong!

Good luck mate