Hi everyone,
My name is Steve and I'm a compulsive gambler (that's the first time I've actually said that since I started gambling almost 10 years ago).
I came on here just over 3 years ago and shared my story of how I started gambling and how I intended to stop for good, looking back now that was the longest period I had ever gone without gambling (10 weeks). I recently managed just over 8 weeks but slipped up yet again and here I am (I will explain more about that shortly). As you can imagine over the last 3 years a lot has changed in my life, I found a girlfriend who I love dearly and often wonder what I did to deserve her, we have a house together, I have a better paid job than I once did, but one thing that hasn't changed is my need to gamble to try and have more money and live more comfortably. The stupid thing is that over this time I have won money but as everyone here knows as compulsive gamblers we get greedy and want more then end up losing most of it if not all of it, then end up feeling down in the dumps for days, weeks and months after wondering why we did it, we all know the answer to that though, we're addicted to gambling. I for one have often struggled to admit this to myself and always thought I could have it under control without the need of help from others but I was wrong. Back in February I had one of my few "big wins" over the years, "winning" almost 2 months worth of wages, I lost the majority of it and decided to walk away with a small percentage of what I could have, that's when I managed to go 8 weeks without gambling at all but then relapsed and since then I have gambled pretty much every week at least. Last weekend I gambled my wages and lost them, then took out a loan and "won" well over 2 months worth of wages, then yet again I gambled a lot of it then decided to stop yet again with a small percentage of what I could have had, but then yesterday I gambled that, I got some profit then lost the lot and I felt absolutely gutted, thinking of what I could have done with it. I then thought about the bigger picture, "what's more important? Having money or having loved ones?" The answer is obvious in my eyes. I can't continue to gamble and make my family and loved ones miss out on things because I can't go anywhere or do anything with them, or they have to have less presents for Christmas, Birthdays etc. Because I have gave my money to some stupid bookmaker that runs a business that ruins most people's lives that participate in it. So today is the start of the rest of my life and I'm determined to make this the last time I have to do this. With gambling there is only one winner eventually, and that's the bookmakers/casinos. I would appreciate it if anyone could give me any words of advice on how to help reduce the chances of a relapse. I'm also here to listen to anyone else's stories and give advice in return. Best of luck to everyone on their journey's to overcoming this addiction! Cheers, Ste.
Hello Steve
From reading i feel like you think its time to get tough with this addiction and thats exactly what you need to do. You've been around long enough to know the blocks you can put in place its about using them. Stopping gambling is one challenge but recovery is a very different one. A compuslive gambler that doesn't work on recovery is just one waiting to bet again the next time it becomes an option. Have you told people about your addiction in real life? What support can you get from them when you need it? This forum is great but its only a piece of the puzzle you need to work out what addiction is/fills in you or your life. Why do you think you need more money? Is that really why you gamble? You say you earn more from work now so is it just money? For me money wasn't and still isn't a draw to gambling its not always that simple. Start asking yourself these questions or better still talk it out loud with someone you can trust to not judge it. You might just find you begin to work it out for yourself. Hand over full control of finances, get 1-2-1 counselling, block access, sign up to all the multi self exclusions. Do it all in 1 hit and give yourself a chance to work on recovery for the long term. Don't just try to stop gambling.
Before i joined here i went through my own battles of what i thought was trying to stop but i wasn't really ready to give it up, i still had my eyes on getting my money back and ended up turning a 3k debt into 10.5k in a couple of months. The money is not important. I didn't stop because 10k is a lot of debt, i stopped because i couldn't get hold of more credit. That was the REAL eye opening point to me. So question number 1 is are you ready to stop? Because you can if you really are ready to give yourself up to your addiction. Cut the ties. The money lost, gone. Time lost, gone. You can't get that back but continue to choose to gamble and it will just keep taking and taking from people like us. We all deserve a better life than that.
Stay active and the advise will come in. We're all in this boat together.
All the best.
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