hi all, my name is karl. 4 years ago i had a major gambling addiction which ruined my business, split up with my girlfriend who had just given birth to my beautiful little boy and drove me to attempting to take my own life which nearly succeeded. i was attached to the mental health team which done a bit of good, but i also attended regular G.A meetings in newmarket which REALLY helped to understand i am not alone in how i felt when having a bet.
I was fine for a couple of years and thought i had cracked it. started having a few small bets then the big black crowd came over and off we went again. this time it wasnt just my own money, i got taken to court and chargeed with theft and now doing commuinty service.
i have recently been offered a new job and the boss is prepared to give me a chance as he knows all about the record and the gambling.
i owe it to alot of people and to myself i can do this.
i have my gorgeous 4 yr old boy every week now which is great and slowly getting back on track. just wanted to share it with you.
good luck all.
Hi Karl, welcome to the Forum and thank you for sharing such an honest and heartfelt post.
I have stopped for around five years after gambling for twenty.
For me personally, the first year was by far the hardest, the second was about getting used to my new life and everything that goes with it. Since then, I am fortunate to say that my urges are almost non-existent - I lost two homes, two partners and £350,000, but I still consider myself to be fortunate.
My first serious attempt was for around six months - I was exactly the same as you; I thought I was a different person, that I was "cured", but then I found out to my almost instant horror that is can take seconds to spiral out of control and return to where you were. It was a powerful lesson, and now I know that complacency is almost as dangerous as the urge itself.
I understand about the black cloud. Sometimes it can just be a case of breaking down, getting it all out if needs be - I have been doubled up, hoping the feelings pass; and that is the golden rule - they always do, they always go away and, most of the time, it is much quicker than you would ever expect.
Karl my friend, there is nothing wrong with what you have been through; you are not a bad person - i'm sure you are a throughly decent, honest and kind person without gambling in your life. What you went through will haunt you at times - it shouldn't, if you never make the same mistakes again. Never forget what you went through, but don't let your past cloud your future because there is a reason why you have been given another chance at life - it is a whole new beginning.
Well done again my friend. I sincerely wish you all the very best - please don't hesitate to post again, particulary on a day where you are feeling less positive than you want to be.
JamesP
Hi Karl,
Thanks for sharing and I too can relate a lot from what you've said.
Gambling , Alcoholism have driven me to the point of ending it but thankfully im still here.
I have a 3 yr old son and a 11 month old son, and after a brief abstience from the illness i eventually got sucked in again.
Wish you all the best with your future, and your familly and sounds like your in a lot better place not your not gambling!
take it easy, day at a time!
thankyou for your replies it means alot.
i was bought up in a houshold of country and western music during the mid 70's and 80's and one song that will always stick in myu head is the lyrics "one day at a time, sweet jesus, thats all i ask of you"
now, its not me quoting the bible in any way shape or form but if you wish to remove the jesus bit its all true, one day at a time, thats all i ask of you.
many a true word.
but going good, and got a new job that i am so grateful to have and now a firm TRUE believe i can make this work
Hello karlos3107,
Congratulations on your new job. It sounds like it has made you feel even more determined to keep working your recovery.
It's good that you have a Recovery Diary here on the GamCare forum, and that you're using GA locally too. GamCare provide a counselling service in Newmarket, if you'd like to find out more about that, do feel welcome to discuss it with a GamCare adviser on 0808 8020 133 or on our Netline.
You had some serious consequences to your lapse in January, but it sounds like you're coping with resilience, commitment and hope.
Well done,
Adam.
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