Hi everyone!
I'm new to all this and don't really know what to say.
It all started with a quick and easy win with online slots about a year or so ago and has escalated far too quickly.
Used to be the odd tenner here and there and used to win and withdraw, but has now turned into a near on £3-500 a month expense with no winnings that stay in my bank account for long enough!
I've taken out payday loans to cover myself for the month.. Then end up spanking it all on the slots and it's starting to really affect my life and not just my finances but who I am as a person.
I'm beginning to get myself into more debt than I can handle.
I haven't told anybody about my problem and have only really woken up to it the last few days and realised that it's becoming far too out of hand.
I've self excluded from everything I've played on but I seem to just keep finding new sites and registering so I can keep playing.
It started to become a daily thing about a month or so ago and as soon as I finish work I want to get my phone out straight away and I get frustrated if I haven't been paid yet or if I can't get any money to play with.
I'm also staying up gambling so late I'm forcing my eyes open to see it out, win or lose. Usually there's no limit and I'll win a load and just keep going, giving myself eff all sleep!
I find the cravings are starting to get harder to deal with each day and it's beginning to affect my behaviour, worse than when I'm dying for a f*g!
I really want to stop and I don't really know where else to turn without having to tell my friends and family which is something I really don't want to do as it feel they will think different of me and I don't want that at all, I don't want to feel like I have a problem and that I need to be 'looked after'.
After thinking about getting some help and some reading some threads, I thought it may be an idea to to come on here and get some support to see how I can try and help myself before it gets too extreme.
Thanks for reading/listening or whatever you want to call it! It felt refreshing being able to just write all of this down to make it feel a little more real and make my first steps.
So self excluding hasn't worked, what now?
Have you read anything else someone else does that might help?
......
Hi Youngoneintrouble
Welcome to the forum and thanks for posting. It must have taken courage to recognise that you have a problem and need help.
You asked for suggestions as to what you can do. Triangle and Joydivider have made good suggestions. Have you had a look at other posts to see what other members have found helpful?
I understand that you don't want to tell anyone close to you at the moment. That is your decision, but it does mean you're cutting yourself off from some of the practical things you can do to stop yourself having the opportunity to gamble. Blocking software can help prevent you from opening new gambling accounts, but it works best if someone else puts in a password to stop you changing the settings or uninstalling it. As joydivider says, those close to you can help protect you from yourself by taking over your finances for a while and limiting your access to money for gambling with.
Those are methods for limiting your access to gambling, but it's also important to address the addiction itself. There is support out there to help you do that - such as free counselling and Gamblers Anonymous meetings.
It's also important to address your debt. Interest mounts up fast on payday loans and if you're also spending the money you need to live on, you won't be able to keep up with repayments. Contact an agency such as Citizens Advice, Debtline or Stepchange for free, confidential advice about your options. You can find out more about dealing with your finances at: http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/finance-and-debt-management
If you want to discuss any of those options in detail please do call us on the helpline on 0808 8020 133 or chat to us on the NetLine. We're here 8am til midnight every day.
Most of all, keep posting. I'll look forward to hearing how you are getting on.
Best wishes
Deirdre
Forum Admin
Thanks guys for your responses, I was worried I wouldn't get anything and felt a bit at a loss! Just knowing you've gone to the effort of reading it alone is a massive relief. Thank you.
So, over the weekend I've managed to sort out some arrangements with the companies I owe money to so I'm not struggling for the next few months as I really had gone overboard and borrowed way more than what I earn. I've also downloaded k9 blocker but I haven't really had the chance to work it out yet or set it up as I've been working all day.
I'm spending time with a couple of really good friends the next few days and if I can summon up the courage I may spill the beans and get it off my chest and see if they can help me at all, although it really would be a massive step for me to do so.
I've also downloaded some games to keep my brain and hands occupied so I don't get tempted, I hope! I have no idea if it'll help but boredom is usually where it hits me.
I have gambled today, but for the last time ever! Tomorrow is most definitely day one of the rest of my life without it.
Feeling really positive and hoping there'll be no looking back.
Looking through threads on here diaries seem to work quite well so I may pop on here daily to just share my thoughts for the day and how I'm feeling. The chat option on net line sounds like a good idea as well. I live with my parents so I wouldn't be able to call all the time if at all. So it's nice to know there's that option too.
Hi there
Really good that you recognise this is a problem. I can relate to the staying up all night until your eyes are shutting and you don't know if you've had a win. That is the sure sign of addiciton that has nothing to do with winning, it is just the relentless motion in front of you. I found the early days difficult in terms of dreams, so be careful if you start getting these ... but also accpet this is normal withdrawal. Having a blocker is vital and should be given your full priority. It helped me in a moment of weakness and I've purchased the Betfilter software and it is great. You get a free 4 day trial to test it out if you're interested.
You know this habit (and habits can be broken) needs to stop so you have to do EVERYTHING to make that a reality.
People on here understand and are here to help.
Take care,Blue x
Thanks blue.
I know habits can be broken and I'm hoping I can break the chain now.
I'm out at the moment, had a lovely dinner and now having a few drinks and all I can think about is slots! Always been worse when I've had a few drinks as I'm even worse at knowing my limits.
Need the money for the next few days but I'm fully aware I could spare £20... So I'm fighting the urge and coming on here instead.
Might have a few posts from me tonight!
Hope you're all having a good evening and those that need to are staying strong x
Hi young hope your well and feeling better about your situation. I found for me I was unable to beat it by myself I tried for so many years and just carried on doing the same thing. If you carry on things will become a million times worse than they do now.is ther someone you can give your bank card to and look after your finances it will help take away the access and the urges won't be so bad as you have no access.
Its the hardest thing to do is come clean and be honest to your nearest and dearest. They love you and Its never as bad as it seems, they will be angry hurt or upset but ultimatly they love you and will want to help.
Stay strong. Keep posting
No more losing
X
Hi,
Just thought I'd pop on this evening and give you all an update, the least I can do after your words of support.
So I didn't manage to spill it to my friends over the last few days, didn't update again on Monday as I'd said I probably would as my battery died. Probably a good thing really as it cut the temptation completely out.
Managed three days now, however the last few days I have been occupied.
Payday soon and I'm hoping I can keep strong and keep going without spanking it all as per usual!
Usually on paydays I'd end up staying up until gone midnight so I can wait to get paid and start gambling but I'm planning on an early night and I may even go and buy myself something the next day (all be it something v small considering the amount of debt I'm in!!!) to just start showing myself what else my money should be going on instead of the slots.
Hope everybody is well, and those that need to keep going strong! X
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