Good evening everybody, to start off, I've gambled a lot more than I can afford and as others I have read it seems to similar to what I have. I'm only addicted in the evenings, but when I do gamble boy do I smash it hard. I've taken out many loans now, and well, thats not cool at all.
I think I just need somewhere to express how I feel and when I want to gamble that I should come here and explain it rather than actually doing it.
It seems that I always win and double the deposit, but then I just keep going. The only way I think I will be able to get over this now is by never doing it again.
My appologies for taking up your time with just another problem post.
So, lets try it. I believe I need to find something that I like to do to stop me playing, I was certain I wouldn't play today.
You guys don't need to reply, I will just try to write here each evening rather than playing and see where that can take me.
good luck my friend. what are your interests? music, reading, tv series?
Thanks buddie for the reply.
Just a side note, I realise that I feel disconnected from the money. Like it's not real at all. I realise it's a problem but I also feel like it doesn't matter, but my mind is screaming it does. How weird.
So I'm into playing football, train twice a week and play once. That's something that takes up a lot of my time, I'm also a programmer. So I make websites or app's for company's. But also I just like coding in my spare time.
How about yourself? 🙂
So its the morning and I always feel opptomistic in the morning that I could win. I think thats a big problem for me, I am always certain I will win. So I can't afford to play, so I shouldn't and won't play!
you cant win because you cant stop
well done for posting here - sounds like you need to take some proactive steps as well, in addition to writing down here
self exclusions blocking software (although if you can code you can also overcome all those) GA meetings, Chatrooms on here
Im very early days of my latest recovery attempt but have another 6 years of bad credit files before I can really move on with life - that's frustrating but also is the time I haveto really address the underlying reasons as to why I have chosen such a destructive path.
I had many nice wins, one huge win - the sums irrelevent but the principle being I won more than I would realistically dream of yet it has all gone and a lot more besides.
With hindsight I hope my last bet was the best money I ever spent - I hope (and I can't remeber what it was even on) I spent that bet and it broke the back, it broke my mind to the point that I won't gamble again. I'm a gambling addict but I no longer gamble
This will be with me for the rest of my life. I have affected the lives of my mum & Partner, my sister and her family, my wife and her family and most worrying of all I have changed the course of my childrens life, They will not have the opportunities that I could and should of afforded them because I chose to gamble.
Today I will chose not to.
Jimmy boy you are here and that in itself is a massive step forward. I am the wife of a compulsive gambler (still feels so shocking to say that) and trust me gambling is not a life, it isn't even an existence. It rots everything it comes into contact with and devastates families.
Compulsive Gambler, it's so brave of you to admit you changed the course of your children's lives and took away opportunities for them. Do you worry that they might follow in your footsteps? This is my biggest fear, that they might copy my husband.
Keep strong Jimmy
Thank you very much guys. I admitted to myself a few months ago but I just kept on going on how. But i think coming here has helped so much more then I imagined it would.
I am sorry to hear that it had such an effect on your family Goodbye my husband, this makes me sad to think about this for you. Are you guys working through it currently?
Compulsive Gambler, I'm also sorry for your story, but like me I'm pleased that you're here and helping people like yourself that are looking to get better. Currently its been 2 days, maybe the first 2 days in 4 months that I haven't had a little gamble. So this is a big step. Lets make it 3.
Without your replies though I realise it wouldn't have had the same effect. So again thank you. But it is still early doors. I need to keep reading peoples comments and replies.
Ok well.... I just did another bet, so I will continue to write here, I thought about it longer than I previously have whilst doing it.
I'm also not going to play any more, I told myself just a little bit. That didn't work lol laugh rather than cry right.
JimmyBoy stay strong pal.
I've had a similar time to most people on here in the past and after a while of not gambling you can almost justify to yourself (in your head anyway) that a little bet won't hurt. It does and little bets turn into bigger ones then you're back to where you started, like me. Currently at 7 days gamble free at the moment but am starting thr group sessions with GamCare next month. It sounds like it might be worth you making the phone call and seeing what else they can do for you too.
I am also using this as someweher to vent / get my feelings down and trust me, no-one will judge you, I certainly won't. Everyone on here has been there or is connected to someone who has so we all know how it feels, just remember that and next time you feel the urge get yourself on here, hell, save this website as your homepage so its the first thing you see when you log in if that helps.
Best of luck to you JimmyBoy, i really hope you can get over this.
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