new beginning

Hi

You're still young enough to enjoy a gamble free life.

I had debt and one of the best things I did was overpay each money, instead of gambling my spare money away.

With your loan look at paying it back quicker, by overpaying.

You may say but I have no spare money, but you do otherwise you wouldn't have money to gamble.

If you'd rather not do that, then why not start each time you get paid, giving some money to your mum to keep for you.

I turned to my mum as a 38 year old male and asked her to keep my bank cards because I couldn't manage otherwise. There is no shame in getting help from others if you need.

A compulsive gambler simply cannot be trusted with spare money or additional access to money through credit cards and needs to do whatever it takes to ensure that monies are not available to gamble when the urge takes.

Stick around plenty of other members here to offer support and advice.

Thank you for some very good advice, I will be trying to pay any spare money off as quick as possible, I've never really tried to give up gambling before but I'm so serious, day one nearly complete, not even an urge to gamble, don't know why I do it to be honest as lately It's bored me but I still keep spinning hoping to win my losses back, what a waste of time!!

A day is a great start for a gambler, particularly if someone gambles daily.

It's important to occupy yourself with other things to do, when you would normally gamble. Boredom is another trigger for a gambler.

Gambling can become part of a routine very quickly and quite often the first thing that needs to be done is to break that routine.

Once changed it's amazing how quickly we can get out of it.

I'd gamble religiously on a Monday and Thursday. I broke that by doing other things such as the gym.

We also need to have a plan when the urge hit us. Quite often just taking a couple of mins to think about it is enough for us to say no. Again find something else to do, even if it's boring like washing or ironing.

It's not easy, but it's doable with a bit of willpower and whatever support you need. Perhaps try to start a diary on these forums.

Well another day of no gambling, and what a stressful day it's been, was waiting on a withdrawal to hit my account that was pending, from my recent gambling spree, instead I received an email today saying they won't be paying it as its a duplicate account, so another £1000 in debt, normally I would have gambled to try and win this back but instead I lent it off my mum paid what I had to, had a little cry and vowed even more to never gamble again!! Feel so guilty for dragging others into my problems, but at the same time if I change now I can live a totally different life style in 2 years. Thank you Steve defiantly going to look into a diary!!

Well done on another day gamble free you've done really well to get over these early hurdles!! Some would call the early days the hardest!

Thank you, last thing on my mind is gambling, look back and think how stupid I was to get into this mess when I know and have always told myself and everyone else it's something you can never win at, luckily I have an amazing partner who has signed up for overtime at work to clear my debts off quicker and an amazing little boy who I'm going to put all my energy into from now on, I will not gamble, and I will not waste another day of my life, thanks for the support goodbyemrchips, it really does help 🙂

Very good work resisting the gamble.

You did the right thing in just moving on.

The world of online casinos is very murky to say the least, many operators based off shore and working how they want and being backed up by just as unscrupulous gambling commissions.

Sometimes it's only when we pull ourselves out of the addiction we start to question why we did it in the first place.

I often think, did I really trawl the seedy back street London arcades and waste so much time, money, not too mention put my job on the line for a box, with a bunch of flashing lights and sounds.

So strange, I often question when I became addicted, was it right when I placed my very first bet, or spun my very first spin on the slots, or after a certain win? Il never know, what I do know is I went from been able to enjoy a bet and walk always not minding that is lost £2, to chasing £100's on the slots without a second thought, anyway had another gamble free day, had some friends round so ordered some food and had a chilled night, not even tempted to gamble, it's only when I'm bored that I have the urge. Need to go on and block all my emails as getting far too many offering different bonuses and offers 🙁

3 full days gamble free and today will be number 4, got the week off work so spending lots of time with my baby instead of sat glued to my phone, feels good, even though I don't feel tempted I think I'm going to move the rent and bill money out of my account and into my partners in case I relapse. Money in the bank is just too much temptation, also does anybody know if there is any blockers for iPhone? Thanks 🙂

Hi worriedmummy, welcome to recovery 🙂

Getting that money out of your bank is a great idea to break your Time-Money-Location triangle! My damage wasn't done online so I'm not the best person to be offering advice (& I have no idea about the blocker for the iPhone although Gamcare should be able to assist) but what about reporting your card lost & getting hubby to scratch the CVV number off of your new one so that you can't use it?

I think you can just switch this over to the recovery diary section if you are planning on using this as a recovery tool? I would thoroughly recommend doing so, especially in these early days & it's somewhere to 'go' when the urges hit because they will!

Hubby sounds wonderful, please make sure he knows there is support for him if he thinks he would benefit! Usually, it is frowned upon for someone else to bail us out as it prevents us learning the true value of money but with the babies I can see why you need this. Why not see if there's anything you can do to reduce household bills so that you are doing something practical to get you out of the pit?

Great work on your 1st 3 days 🙂 Time to fight for you & everyone you love - ODAAT

You're doing so well it'll soon be a week gamble free and it doesn't take long before a gambler will start to see real progress.

Within a month I could see how much money I was wasting.

Certainly within 3 months I felt I'd seen enough change in my bank balance to know what I could achieve within a year, if I remained gamble free.

It's not easy overall to keep gamble free, but I found it was reasonably easy once the first week or so passed.

Then you need to fight a bit more against the can't hurt to risk just a little gamble demons.

Thank you ODAAT I did want this as a recovery diary but not sure how to do it, good idea regarding the bank card and one I will deffinaltly do today thank you, i did a full weekends overtime last weekend so luckily due some extra money on my wages come pay day and have changed it over so they go straight into my partners bank, thing is I have a really addictive personality, and one of my addictions is spending money on my little boy, far more then I should, I know I'm at least getting something for my money this way but at the same time there's been times when I've refrained from gambling yet still left us abit tight on money by over depending on gifts and clothes for him!! So this is something else I need to address, but staying gamble free is more important to me just now. Thank you for your post 🙂

Thank you ODAAT I did want this as a recovery diary but not sure how to do it, good idea regarding the bank card and one I will deffinaltly do today thank you, i did a full weekends overtime last weekend so luckily due some extra money on my wages come pay day and have changed it over so they go straight into my partners bank, thing is I have a really addictive personality, and one of my addictions is spending money on my little boy, far more then I should, I know I'm at least getting something for my money this way but at the same time there's been times when I've refrained from gambling yet still left us abit tight on money by over depending on gifts and clothes for him!! So this is something else I need to address, but staying gamble free is more important to me just now. Thank you for your post 🙂

I had a look but I'm rubbish @ computers...Why not give Gamcare a call? They will switch it for you & it may be worth speaking to them about a bit of their counselling! I think you may find the overspending is all part of this same recovery journey! Kids @ that age don't need lavish gifts & certainly won't remember them (cardboard boxes, balloons & anything that makes a cool noise like pots & wooden spoons cost nothing), they need physical stimulation from their loved ones! & you need rest when you're not being run ragged, not the pain & heartache that gambling causes!

Great work getting the money to go to your partner 🙂

You can do this - ODAAT