New here, just lost my family

Hi KP82

Welcome to the forum you will find a very supportive community of people here who want to help and support you.

Gambling has led you to behave in a way towards your partner that has caused you both a lot of pain and has come between you and your desire to be a good father and family man.

By posting here, you’ve actually taken the first step of your journey to recovery. Gamcare is ready to help and support you with advice on strategies to put in place to enable you to control, and eventually overcome your gambling problem

I would urge you to contact our helpline and talk to one of our advisers who will listen to you in a non-judgemental way and encourage you to talk about your concerns. Sometimes just telling someone can be a relief, and it is an important first step towards dealing with the problem.

If you wish to address the underlying issues which drive you to gamble more than you want to, our advisers can refer you to a local counsellor for up to 12 sessions of free counselling if there is one in your area. This can help you to explore the causes of your gambling behaviour and the effects gambling has on your life. Your counsellor will help you explore and consider your life and relationships and will help you find the best method to deal with the effects that your gambling has.

You can speak to an adviser on our helpline by calling this free phone number 0808 8020 133 or on the netline.

Our lines are open everyday 8am until midnight.

Best wishes

Forum Admin.

Hello administrator. Thankyou for the helpful numbers.

I will be making a call later today and I will see if there is a group near me I can go to and seek further help.

Thanks again.

Is there anybody here with advice???

Hello K welcome to the forum.
To answer the first question yes you can be a compulsive gambaler and only bet on one type. Like yourself I was addicted to fruit machines amongst other things scratchcards.

I can see gamcare have already posted about counselling, ga, etc
So I'll not repeat that.

If you want to quit gambaling you're going to have to fight like never before. But you can do it you really can. Start by getting some help.
I mean this with the utmost respect but if I were you I'd get some anger management counselling to.

If you change now the only win you will need is winning your family back hopefully its not To late.

When you're ready move your diary to the recovery section you will get a better response there

All the best for now
Deano

Thankyou deano. I appreciate you taking the time to reply to me.

I hope it's not too late, Ive caused major damage with my family.

I'm prepared to do it this time.

I've struggled with it for years but this is really bad. I'm determined to do it. It's not the money that bothers me even though it would be far better spent on my family.

Anyway thanks again. I'm going to try 1 day at a time until I get to a week, then the same again up to two weeks, then up to a month. If I can go a full month I'll try to go a week at a time then.

K I hope you can get through this period. For this to work you need to be honest. Not only with yourself but with your family. It doesn't work any other way.
If she's not speaking to you write her a letter. Explain what's been going on and what your going to do to make it right.

One day at a time is all it takes

If you interact on gamcare you will benefit massively. It's a friendly place with some good laughs. Join a few challenges in the overcoming section it will give you focus. There's also nightly chats. They are good if you want to just get it out.

Where are you regarding self exclusion?

As for self exclusion I need to stay away from the local wetherspoons and the arcade.

I don't do anything other than machines, so I guess staying away will help?

Partner is not exactly talking to me but she knows I'm on here.

I hope she will forgive me and support me or I'm on my own.

Hi KP82, don't know if this helps, but 'tricksters', slot machine professionals, systematically empty slots at Wetherspoons and other pubs twice or more a week. They have inside knowledge and really on punters like us to fill them up for them to empty. The upshot is, if you're not a trickster (and they are a close-knit community) you simply can't win. Just another reason not to bother with slots. And it's the same with arcades, Good luck.

Mixer, no I'm not part of that community but I know how to empty a few of them with the systems but I just feed it all back in then.

The tricksters get inside information from people working at the manufacturers and then share or sell it.

Your right though, quite often I find myself forcing at cold machine for little or no profit.

I try to wait until someone like me has filled one up then I play but it never works, I always find myself on a different machine as I can't wait.

Likewise Samson, and I have to say I'm feeling more motivated tonight. When defeating a **** like this it all helps. All the best, Samson, KP. I'm going to be back tomorrow. It really helps.

I will be back aswell. We CAN do it. I beat smoking, so this can be beaten too

That's the spirit, together we're stronger, let's not buckle. Seriously, wherever we are, let's all collectively look at these **** machines with the absolute contempt they deserve. Let's learn to hate them - and quickly

Hi KP82 and everyone else new to this but here for a reason.Had a problem with the slots for the last 8-9 years along with the usual wages,maxed out credit cards,loans and the worse of all taking money of a close family member without their knowledge basically it has now cuaght up with me big time .Knowing my luck has finally run out have now admitted it to the family I knew of the reaction hence the lies and denials etc.Devestated,upset,angry,sleepless nights,tears,no phone calls just few of the feelings and emotions the fam are feeling.Havent put a penny in the nasty machines for twenty days,walked past the local pubs without thinking about it.Focused on trying to put things right with family and my own mind.But still feel anxious because wether family trust me i.e how come you suddenly stopped for twenty days??i do wonder my self.By the way have signed up for counselling sessions really need answers where I went wrong.

Your family now know so that's Step 1. Step 2 is to start to make things good. Counselling will help immensely. Also, keep out of the pub. We all know we're not there for the beer anyway. Explain to your family you're going to sort it all out and demonstrate the steps you're taking. It's time for action.