Hi my name is Ben, I'm 22 living in London. Gambling all started for me when I was 17 and my friends took me into a betting Shop. I didn't realise how much money you could win. At the time Wimbledon was going on and a friend told me that if I put £200 on Roger Federer to win the tournament I would get £1200 back. Which I thought was incredible cause surely he would win? Anyway I remember watching the final match in anxiety and he won. I was so overwhelmed and extactic as I was 17 and probably had more money than my mum at the time. I was lucky cause I was underage and never had my age checked. This was the first time I ever gambled.
Of course this led to me going in the next day with my wod of money and trying out other things like the dogs, horses and betting machines etc. Most the time I dont ever really remember winning it was mostly losing like £200 every now and then and if I did win I would go back in the evening and lose. At the time I had no expenses and was living at home and all my money from my job was mine.
This all went on until I went to Australia and discovered casinos and Blackjack, I always played this never anything else. I loved the game I loved the secrecy of it and the rush of winning, but same again I never really won it was just losing like $500 some nights. I dont even to this day understand why I came back from Australia I don't know if it was because I run out of money through blackjack, because I could of stayed and worked and made a living. Or if I came back because I was depressed that I lost some money and felt lonely and just wanted to be near people who remembered the old me.
Anyway few months ago I was on 8*8 casino and started with £800 and I ended up getting up to £30000. This was over 3 nights so I thought that was enough so I cashed out and boom money was in bank 3 days later. I told my family I won it and they couldn't believe me.. Anyway like most gamblers I lost all this in 45 minutes 3 days after with my girlfriend laying next to me watching tele.
I felt sick, I felt like crying, I remember punching myself and head butting the door. All my family thinks I still have the money and they say what have you done with it and where is it. I can't say I've lost it I just said it is in a special savings account. Only my girlfriend knows I lost it I told her the day after because she new I was so low and fragile
I don't know if I'm bothered by it now because i never had the money originally but it could of changed my life and brought me a house.
I know I have a problem I don't want to bet anymore I want nothing to do with it. I've got like £4000 debt on my credit card and want to pay it off and have a happy life with my girlfriend and have all our money for us. Not a unreliable life with not knowing where my money is. Please just give me advice. It's been 1 day since I have played, I know it's 1 day but I've just learnt I can't keep doing this. It's no fun anymore. I've never gambled with little money. It's always been big bets and hot headed rash deccions.
Hi Ben, I've just joined the site and I have a serious problem which last night lost me my family. I am back at my parents house.
I hope you can beat it, same as I hope I can. It's a terrible addiction that has crippled me emotionally. The money means nothing anymore, I've just lost my partner and the kids.
That's what's brought me here. Last night was the straw that broke the camels back. I need help, and so do you my friend.
We CAN beat this. Nothing is impossible.
I don't think people know the extent of gambling addiction I have friends that can do like £50 bets and lose it and say oh well that was fun. But no I go all in and lose £900.00. When I lose I feel really clingy towards my girlfriend because I feel like I've let her down. Even though she never knows anything. I keep it very serious.
I'm sorry to hear about your situation hopefully things work out with this site and you can have a fresh start, the way I see it is that it's never to late because money comes and goes, but gambling is an illness and you can't be ill. You can always rent a place to live, I'm thinking this is just a chapter of my life and a life lesson. Even though it is a painful one and upsetting when I'm doing it. But I've been on this site for half hour and all ready spoke about everything and cut up any cards that I can gain money from. That's more than I've ever done in 4 years.
I've struggled with gambling for 15 years and I'm now at the lowest point in my life.
It's good you can see it as a lesson learned already before you get in way too deep.
Please learn from it and make today day 1 of quitting.
Don't end up like myself and many others. We are people with feelings who like everyone else deserves to be loved and have a nice family. I'll chat to you anytime mate if you want.
I understand I didn't realise so many people are all in the same boat here. I thought it was just me and I was the only one getting in trouble. I know I can beat this I'm a terrible gambler. He wins a lot then losses a lot. What did you mainly gamble on?
I've got a major fruit machine issue. I don't gamble on anything else just fruits. When mo eye is tight or low I know not to gamble but when I have more eye it has to go in anything machine and I just can't stop myself.
Certain machines I know how to play and 'force' but if it's paid big anything no I'm repushing a dead machine it can cost me a fair chunk of money.
I'm sick of it and desperate to stop.
Maybe quit drinking and don't go in pubs? I had a thought of maybe setting an inspirational background on your phone to quit gambling so every time you check the time or make a text etc the reminder is there and helps beat the urge.
Welcome Ben
Good to have you here.
Look forward to seeing you progress in recovery
Deano
Thanks deano
Hi Ben
Im 22 myself mate been in the same boat as you before. First thing you need to realise that this isnt just going to go away, this feeling and addiction will be with us the rest of our life. Its gutting to think but you have to put barriers in place in order to overcome. Ive relapsed many times but you have to educate yourself and learn from each relapse. First thing i would say is to be completely honest with your girlfriend. Tell her the extent of the situation, how your feeling and that you want to stop. In my opinion as compulsive gamblers we cannot bet because it will just become out of control again. Get those barriers in place mate! Thanks to my wonderful girlfriend i have many barriers in place and all the support i could ever ask for. The barriers i would suggest you get in to place are gambling site blocking software such as netnanny as you can use that for iphones and personally i use it and i havent gambled online since january with it since it was installed. Next would be to self exclude all bookmakers in your local area and beyond, there is a hotline you can call (google national gambling self exclusion) and all you need to do is give the postcodes of the bookmakers (find them on google maps) and then they will self exclude you from them and any others in the local area. I managed to ban myself from 267 bookmakers in my city and various other cities i have to work in and surrounding areas. I would have to travel many miles to find a bookmakers. Once the year is over you simply ring them back and ask for another years ban. Its fantastic. Again googling the national gambling self exclusion you will come across a company called sense which you can sign up to and self exclude from all casinos in the UK. Again this is something i have done. Finally i go to GA once a week. I absolutely love going i have met some amazing individuals in there but i understand GA is not everyones cup of tea. These huge barriers in place have helped me these past 2 months to overcome urges and i feel im getting back to my old self. Get barriers in place mate and make it harder and harder to gamble and stop those urges. Every day can be a battle but it will get easier!
Good luck!
Dan
Hi Ben, you'd be amazed how supportive friends and family will be when you tell them you're a recovering gambling addict. Tell them straight up: I've got a problem but I'm doing something about it. That means banning yourself from gambling establishments where you can, banning yourself from online casinos etc, but ultimately using your willpower and stubbornness to knock these destructive gambling habits on the head. We are all with you mate. All been there. Forget what you had, it's all history. Concentrate on today and tomorrow. It's not just the money we're wasting, but the time. All the best.
Hi Ben
Parent of a young gambler like you so "been there done that" so to speak. Parental advice - tell the parents/family asap. Tell them you have taken steps to get advice i.e. on here. One of the best things you can ask them is to moniter you finances which will deter the gambling and help control your finances. If you are unable to pay the debts now ring gamcare for debt solution advice or speak to your bank or credit card company. Please do not ask your parents to bail you out as that makes it too easy for you and the last thing you want is your family struggling with money and that being on your conscience. You are young, you are in maybe a better situation than many on here and you now have a good opportunity to nip this in the bud now and have a good life. Read the stories on here, learn from them and keep talking to all of us while you are sorting yourself out. That's all I can of you at the moment to hope it has helped and good luck to you and your family.
Hi Ben I'm sat here reading your story with sadness. I am also the mum of a CG he is 27 years old now and has been gambling for 3 years but is doing well at the moment. You need help and lots of support Ben you need to tell your parents if you are able to, tell them everything from the beginning. You've been living this life for 5 years now, you're only a young lad it's time to stop and get yourself a life without gambling in it if you're to have any chance of a happy future because if you don't stop now it will follow you around for the rest of your life Ben. One thing that does help is to hand finances over to someone else if you can. I know it will be awkward and embarrassing telling your family but believe me they would rather know the truth. I know my own son was relieved when it all came out, we had arguments, I cried, he told lies, it was a bad time. Slowly things have improved for him but it has left me very wary, I will never take my eye off him where gambling is concerned, I don't think there's a day goes by that I don't think about it. Have a good read around the site there are lots of success stories and lovely people here. Please try your hardest Ben, I will be watching your posts and hoping you can do this. - Wcid
Thanks everyone for support also Brummyboy what is GA I'm hearing a lot of people mention it.
Thanks mixer I agree with what you say about forgetting what I had cause that's the best thing to do.
Thanks for the support WCID
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