New me needed

You have had a terribly hard time of things and i can relate to alot of what you say. Similarly to you...all my focus on gambling led me to wreck my university .degree chances. Coming here can only be a good thing. When we are so far down...the only way is up!

Hi Peter30

Thank you for your comment. Coming on here has made me aware that we are not alone
We have got to look forward and learn to deal with the past and let it go. I am going for counselling to see if that will help any. I am certainly at the stage of being ready to give up and will give it my all.

Lets do this!!!

I hope you have plans in place to help and support you. I will be here going through it with you.

Good luck

For me.

Hi For me

Welcome to the forum and as you ave already said your not alone in coming on here as there are many others in the same situation or been in this situation ! I myself lost my mother some 15 1/2 years ago who brought myself and my brother up on her own holding 3 jobs down at one point to support and bring us up, through my councilling sessions I am now learning that due to me not grieving the loss of my mother at the time as I had a younger brother and felt I had to be strong for him. I've seen the gambling as my way of grieving so my councillor is telling me even though I was gambling before she died, I am a person who previously would not open up to people and let them know my feelings but I feel I've connected with my councillor and I feel that I'm getting answers as to why I went and gambled and this is such a good feeling to have and helping me very much ! I would definitely advised you to get some councilling and the the only thing I will say is you get out of it what you put into it and just be open and honest and I'm sure you will find answers for yourself. I would also say to you try and let your husband know of your situation even though he will probably be angry with you but you will find out the more people know of your situation the easier it feels to cope with it or this is how it is for me anyway. I have currently lost my wife (living apart from), also my 2 boys are very hurt due to my gambling addiction and I've got a lot of making up to do to my 2 boys and don't know what direction it's going with my wife but I will say life is so horrible and hard without having the 3 of them around on a daily basis ! I would ring the gamcare helpline and get some advice on everything as it's very good. Hope you can get sorted with everything and look forward to reading future updates from yourself.

"It's good to talk and take it one day at a time"

All the Best

Darren

Hi Darren

Been through hell and bk in my life including my child hood. Gambling is a way of escaping anything that is going wrong isn't it, I av always been the 1 in the family that they come to for help or if anything needs sorting out, so I seem to be the strong 1 to everyone else but really I am a mess inside. The pain of losing people so close is horrific and like u I felt I had to be strong for others.
Like u I can not open up to anyone at all. Don't get me wrong I have such a wonderful family and the thought of letting them down and with the guilt and shame I feel just makes it even more harder to open up.
I'm sorry about u splitting up with your wife and losing the trust from your kids. The thought of this happening to me I can not comprehend because my whole life apart from going to work has revolved around them and gambling for years.
I love them so much I can not lose them. It rips me apart to think it.

YOU ARE SO BRAVE and it sounds like you are getting there with things. I have yet to start counselling and I am terrified of opening up face to face and saying things out loud to someone else but at the same time I really need to release it to start on the road to recovery

I really hope your recovery goes well and I absolutely hope with all my heart that you get your family back.

Take care for now and I will keep u updated. Thank you for your support.

Fm

Hi For Me

Thanks for your words they are very much appreciated. I know how you are feeling when you say you are a mess inside as we put this big strong brave face on for others, this is the impression we have given out over the years yet we are doing more harm to ourselves and unfortunately our release is the horrible gambling world ! I've had 5 councilling sessions and can honestly say I've got very emotional and upset in 4 of them talking about things in my past, but it's good to finally get things out rather than bottling them up inside myself. I hope you can get sorted and as I've said the sessions are helping me very much and hope you to will benefit from your sessions when you start them and things become better for you and your family.

All the Best

Darren

Hi For Me.

Councilling is the best thing you will ever to in trying to beat this horrible addiction. The second best thing to do is open up to your friends and family. I kept my secret for 15 years and it nearly killed me. I have been through the toughest period of my entire life the past few months as I lost my beautiful fiancee and her daughter because of my web of lies, deceit and self harming ways. I am no where near over it but I am free of gambling and on that foundation great things can be built.

I wish you all the best in your recovery, stay strong mate.