Hi everyone. Im new here and having to use my mobile as i have no PC/laptop so forgive me for not going into too much detail as it takes soooo long writing!
So im Mark and have been a problem gambler since turning 18. I think my problems arose from my dads habits, my earliest memory of gambling was my dad asking me to pick a horse in the 1992 grand national and he put a fiver on it, just for fun. By the age of 17 I was going to the bookies to put his bets on for him. I reakon they new i was underage but turned a blind eye. Anyway i digress... So by the time i turned 18 i was exicited to be able to gamble no questions asked, back them i remember it was mostly fruit machines and the odd football bets. Then I got my first job and I guesd thats when my problems esculated (more available money). But my wages were never really enough and i soon ended up taking out loans and blowing it all. I just couldnt seem to get a grip and put a stop to it. So 17 yeard later im still gambling!!
Things changed for the worse in 2002 when bookies were kitted out with the brand shiny new fobt and ROULETTE, these machines really are the crack C*****e of gambling and i would love it if they got tid of these! Not that they ever will though!! Ive lost thousands on these throughout the years.
I do know i have a problem (currently in debt by around 9,500) but am still gambling. Today i lost 50 and yesterday lost 140. But just like me im sure you know that gambling is not about winning snd losing, its an ADDICTION!
So i guess im on here because I wanted some support and thought i would reassure myself that its not just me who has problems. Ive read a few introductions on here and can clearly see its not just me who has problems
for info.. ive recently self excluded from my nearest bookies and only gambled today and yesterday as i stupidly went to the bookies nearest my workplace om my lunch. I clearly need to also self exclude from there which im actually going to do tomorrow!!
I love gambling but have no idea if i will ever just be able to gamble for fun and not be a 'promlem gambler'. Your thoughts would be much appriciated.
thanks for taking the time to read.
Mark
Firstly Welcome to the site Sonic (or Mark,whichever you prefer people to call you) Theres alot of support on this site and i read it everyday to keep myself on the straight and narrow,Firstly I'll answer something for you,No you will never be able to gamble for "fun",Gambling addiction is all or nothing,Cold turkey or gambling,Theres no such thing as "fun" betting for a gambling addict......now for the positives.......You have registered on the site and admitted its a problem for you.... 1st hard bit done so well done!
You have already taken some steps with the self excluding and just need to do what you plan and self exclude from bookies tomorrow!,
Keep reading peoples posts and it will keep you motivated 🙂
Hi Mark - Well done for joining us here - a wise move if you are serious about ridding yourself of this soul-destroying habit. As Time4Reform has said - no, gambling can never be 'fun' for us. As you said yourself, it's an addiction, so how can something which controls us so much with the potential of causing so much misery in our lives, can be seen as fun? OK, so there is an initial 'buzz' when we win, but I think you have probably found that with compulsive gambling, winning and losing just merges into one blur. Remember this phrase which you will see a lot on this site: "I cannot win because I cannot stop."
Keep to your plan with the self-exclusion strategy; if you ever bet online then install a blocking program such as K9 - such barriers really help keep you away from temptation.
Finally, try to visit this site daily - you will find so much advice, support and inspiration here from fellow travellers.
Best wishes for your journey.
Joanna
hi Mark, I agree with the previous posters, if you are compulsive then it's all or nothing i'm afraid, for the rest of your life you can continue to gamble destructively or abstain completely, incl the lottery scractchcards raffles etc. There is no inbetween.
Do not underestimate the addictive power of gambling, it acts like a hard drug & can be as addictive as a smack or crack addiction staying stopped can be very difficult.
You may think you have had 'fun' losing money gambling but think about what non-gambling related fun you could have had with the money ? all of the things in life that you haven't done & have missed out on due to your gambling ? and how the interest & charges you will have to pay on your debts will reduce your income & limit your ability to enjoy other, sensible fun things in life, for some time to come. You're mortgaging (& negatively affecting) your future.
When you walk into the bookies how do you think the staff behind the counter see you ? They think 'just another stupid mug' or similar, they won't respect you when they see you play the mug FOBT's etc. So gain respect for yourself & how others see you, knock the gambling on its head & don't be afraid to try new things. Don't trivialise it or what you've done, gambling has done serious damage to your attitudes/beliefs, your finances and your life. Gambling exists so that the bookies can make more & more money from you, nothing else.
Firstly, thank you for welcoming me to the site, I dont know why i've never thought of locating such a place! Hopefully the support and other stories will help me make the right choices going forward.
I know its not fun losing money and the fact we gamble isnt to actually go out to win money its to go to get the buzz, like ive said.. my main vice is the roulette machines, oddly ive never actually been to a casino to experience the real thing (which i guess is a good thing!)
So i want to stop with these machines! Horse racing and greyhounds dont really interest me. However i do enjoy the odd small bet on the football, watching a game live on tv is so much more interesting when theres something at stake (mind the pun!). I find it hard to accept that i go cold turkey and stop gambling on everything and anything so my aim is to try and get myself into a place where i can have the odd bet on the football but have no interest in playing the fobt. Dunno if this is a realistic target though.
For info - today has been a no gambling day and i've banned myself from the bookies nearest my work, thankfully theres only one close by so theres no chance to go looking for another place if i let my guard down
so at the moment i have 2 online betting accounts which i access via my phone - Sky Bet and w**********l. I have an active bet on both accounts (need man city and chesterfield to win their respective leagues) if these win im going to collect the money and close my accounts!
as i said earlier - i have no pc/laptop so im at least not able to be tempted by all these online bingo sites with slots etc.
... and the reason i know i dont gamble to win money is that i know for a fact that if i won the lottery and had more money that i would ever need i would still gamble. obviously much bigger stakes! not to win money - just for that buzz!
Hi Again Sonic,You say that you still have pending bets on the two online accounts you have,If you self excluded now and the bets win then they money will still be there when your self exclusion expires (if you do self exclusion for 6 months for example) If you wanted the money into your bank then you can self exclude and once the bets have won (if they win) you can RING the customer services for the bookies and ask them to MANUALLY withdraw the money,they can do it but they would prefer you to keep it there so theres the tempation to use it once your self exclusion expires.
Good Luck and we are all here for help and advice!
Hi Mark, I have just joined this site and take solace in the fact I am not alone. I hate to think how much I have lost over the last 3 or 4 years, but I have put myself in worse debt than I already had. I try to understand 'why' . I have everything that's important in life....my wife, 4 children, a good job and a house. That kind of ticks all the boxes doesn't it? The fact I have just arrived on this site really is the first step of taking control. I am focussing on this myself, and not about what I have lost or deep regret but on the fact I have told my close family I have a problem. In a way that lifted a burden and it means I can talk more openly about how I feel. I have just had my first gambling free day in months, and I am today not going to bet on any football, which I usually do and never win.... I will share how I did a later. I have also transferred all the money in my account to my wife's, so I have no money in there... Otherwise I will be tempted to gamble it. First steps at the moment!
Hi Mark
I have not posted on this site for some time, but it is all good news as my last bet was early June last year. In the early days I visited the site regularly and not only was the support invaluable, but it also gave me something to do with my time. I previously gambled for 40 years which means that as an adult I had no appreciation of a life without it. It has motivated my recovery immensely therefore that I now understand what I was missing out on. I have learned more about myself in the past 11 months than I have for many, many years.
I am pleased to say that I am a far more balanced person than I was a year ago with different interests and hobbies and a clearness of mind which means that I tackle problems head on rather than avoiding them through gambling. There is a saying 'never regret, never forget' and I like this as although I have made many mistakes in the past, I have moved on and forgiven myself, but I will never ever forget the feelings that finally led me to wanting to quit gambling for good, because if I forget those feelings I will have learned nothing.
Gambling is all around us but I always remind myself how much better life is without it and the truth for me is, once an addict always an addict and even one small bet would be too much and bring everything tumbling down around me. We all have the right to make mistakes but we also have the right to change our minds and take a different path.
I now regularly chair our local GA meeting and it is far from full of sad pathetic down and outs. Our group represents a vast spectrum of talents, intellects and backgrounds and I hope is far from the unwelcoming and daunting environment that I first encountered many years ago at my very first meeting. GA is nowhere near giving all the answers that people seeking help need, but it does offer support and not judgement from others that understand how you feel the minute that you walk through the door. Sorry, that was not intended as an advert for GA, but in way I hope it was.
It is great news that you have made a positive step and that you want to get rid of the problems that gambling have caused you. My advice would be, enjoy your new found free time, take everything one step at a time, enjoy taking back control of your life, enjoy rebuilding relationships and new pastimes and keep getting support, either from this forum or from GA.
All the best
Ken
Feeling quite proud that ive gone 7 days without touching the FOBT's. My longest stretch was 3 months so got a while to get that far again but now im on here i feel like im a lot stronger that ive ever been.
Just a little update...
Still not been into a bookies and therefore not been on the roulette since 1 May....
However... I did lose 15 pounds on yesterdays FA cup final
Im not sure how i feel to be honest.... ive been reading on here every day since joining and 99% of what ive read suggests the best thing i can do is to stop gambling completly.... its hard for me to register this idea....
in my head i know my compulsive gambling only happens when playing roulette in the bookies, i can lose hundreds a month on these. Im not the same when it comes to betting on 'single events' i.e football... i have very little interest in horseracing, greyhounds etc. I only bet on football really... but im thinking that a win on football would only just fuel that 'buzz' which would mean automatically thinking i should try and ckntinue that buzz by playing roulette
maybe everyone is correct... i need to just put a stop to ALL gambling....
I need to get my head together and make a decision...
Havent gambled all week which is good! The thing is money is tight until payday so havent got the means to, subsequently not really had any strong urges...
The big test comes in a week or so, ive read a lot about triggers so need to keep my guard up and not put myself in a position which i will regret
location time money - the triangle ive read a lot about. Need to think ahead!!
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