Hi everyone,
As a person who finds it difficult to express how they are feeling I have managed to muster up some courage and join this site.
Roughly 12 months ago I was gambling heavily online (sports and casino) when my world came crashing down. I had no option to tell my girlfriend and family that I had been gambling so bad that my finances had hit rock bottom. My parents bailed me out and I payed my dad back monthly until we was even. My girlfriend stood by me and so did my parents. I promised them the world and told them I would never do it again.
After 12 months free of gambling here I sit writing this after putting myself in the exact situation. My parents are on holiday at the moment and return next week, I have to tell them but I am so scared of losing them. I have told my girlfriend and she has been so supportive but I have hurt her so bad. I have accumulated debt again and it will take me 6 months to fully pay it back.
What I am finding hard is understanding myself and why I would ever do this not only to me but to the people that love me too. I promised them I wouldn't, I gambled when I had no money to gamble and I don't know how or why I have done this. I have a full time job, parents that think the world of me and the best girlfriend I could have ever have hoped for, yet it hasn't stopped me.
Was I naive to think that 12 months ago I would stop forever ?
After I stopped last time, I started to manage my money better and saved up for a dream holiday with my girlfriend. I had self excluded from a number of online sites for life, yet I obviously went searching for another (there's always more). I started betting low stakes and convinced myself I would be able to maintain that and use it as a bit of 'fun.' Of course the stakes became larger and I started to chase my losses.
I'm a normal guy with a normal job, have fun with my friends and try to enjoy life, why has this happened to me ? I don't want to gamble.
I'm in a very similar situation to yourself, my gambling has just got bad again recently but I can't bring myself to tell me girlfriend as it will ruin us, she's give me more than one chance now and said I would lose her if I did it again, she caught me at it again recently but I assured her it was only the odd little bet, she wasn't happy but I'd not lost any money I didn't already have and I stopped for a few weeks.
Again like yourself I found other sites after I'd excluded myself from most of them, I still can't bring myself to self exclude the one I have been playing on the past few days, there is blocking software you can get so you can't use any sites online, however there's always going to the temptation of going the bookies.
My suggestion is that you find something else to focus your time, energy and effort on and search Google for the blocking software, anything to get you to stop will do you good in the long run, you won't be in debt forever, you'll get through it, even if you skint yourself for a few months to get it sorted.
Good luck anyway!
Thanks for responding and for your advice.
Already I feel better for hearing it off someone who is going through the same as me, it's hard for others to understand how it makes you feel.
I have self excluded myself from the latest site I was using and will definitelysearch for the blocking software.
I think you should tell your girlfriend as soon as possible, from my experiences the gambling makes you feel so alone and trapped. Once I told her I could literally feel the weight go from my shoulders. If you carry on you will end up like me, at first you may win you may lose..Some days yyou may feel great because you're up and then some days you'll lose and feel horrible..One thing I do know Is the outcome is inevitable..that feeling of pure despair, a feeling until recently I went through alone.
When I started again it was just little bets, but for people like us it doesn't stay that way
Thanks again for your advice, I'm happy I'm not alone in this
All.the best to you
Hi guys, welcome to the forum 🙂
When I 1st came looking for help, I felt exactly the same, unfortunately, all these months later, I now know that there is far more to getting this under control than promises to stop. Addiction doesn't just go away with a bit of willpower, we have to work on our thought process & accept that for us, we cannot win because we cannot stop! All of the blocks in the world can be gotten round if we are determined to self destruct but by getting help from counselling (GamCare offer free sessions) or GA we can figure out our triggers & find safer ways to dissolve them. For me, drawing a line under my losses & coming clean to my partner then asking him to take over my finances was the kick start I needed to start recovery. Have a look round the site, there will be diaries that you identify with & there are plenty of threads to learn from & take advice from (including a sticky on blocking software & one by OldhamKTF with a national number for self excluding from bookies).
Once we accept that gambling isn't 'fun' we can start living again - ODAAT
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