Not sure where to start. Only found out today my adult son (36) is gambling pretty much daily. He's never got any money, I'm always helping him out. He split from his wife a year ago, has 3 small children. He is a great Dad, sees them regular , but he's got no stability in his life. Left the marital home with nothing, sofa surfing. He has so much debt he can't afford his own place. His wife didnt mind because he always gave her money, until it got tight and no more loans or credit cards could be had. That's when they split, hes got nothing but his kids, which I tell him is everything. I only found out today how bad it is, he doesn't know I know.... Im not sure how to approach it. Any guidance will be appreciated. Â
Dear JJ,
Thanks for sharing your experience, I'm sorry to hear your son is struggling and we hear the big impact this can have on yourself and wider family members too.
I'm sure you will receive insight from other forum users, but in the meantime please get in touch with the helpline if you'd like to.
You can reach us on 0808 8020 133 anytime, and we can also be contacted via live chat or Whatsapp.
We can talk through all of the support available for yourself, and your son can contact us anytime for support too.
Best wishes,
Phoebe
Hi JJ,
I can imagine how difficult it is trying to navigate how best to help. I am 42 days gamble free now, which is the longest I have gone in just over 10 years. Firstly, I would try and found out if he still has the means to gamble!
Find out if he has any blocks in place, such as GamStop (bans all UK online licensed gambling websites), also pair this with GamBan on his devices, phone, laptops. PC etc. as this will stop all the UK licensed and unlicensed websites. If he is going into the bookies, MOSES is a good tool which has been a great help for me. You can send them a photo of yourself and they will circulate this to the places you frequently visit, so you don't have to go through the stress of going in every shop yourself.Â
In regards to the the debt, definitely ask him to get in touch with Stepchange, they will go through your debt and work on a manageable solution for him to pay back his creditors. Loans, credit cards etc. and they base all of this on what you earn/have left over after paying your essential bills.Â
The most important step is helping him get those bans in place though, as I imagine he is still in the mindset of chasing those losses to pay the debt back asap, as I was for a long time.Â
I know what it's like to lose relationships and people you love over this addiction, so I wish him the best in his recovery! Being at rock bottom from this addiction hurts, but there is light at the end!Â
Hope this helps.
Shaw
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Edit: Sorry I've only just seen you said he doesn't know you know, in my personal experience, I had always wanted to tell someone but the addiction kept me from doing that, so that I could carry on doing it. Speaking to him about it may take a weight off his shoulders, as he won't have to reach out himself and do it.
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