Niggling thoughts...

Currently on day 62 gamble free and feeling the exact same as you.

I have absolutely no intentions of gambling, but the thought of just gambling in general is niggling away in the back of my head.

Got my sights on 100 days gamble free. I will get there, but it feels like it will be a bit harder than getting upto day 50.

Hi

I just think you have to focus on what gambling did to you the last time and the time before that.

I dont look at the gambling dens now and think Im missing something. I dont think they are having fun in there and living the life of riley. Indeed I feel sorry that many will be experiencing the misery I once did. I dont see a money making opportunity because it never really was. Im also fully aware that as a compulsive escape gambler the money was never enough and the sort of money that could have changed my life was never on offer anyway. They sell a dream which is vastly different to an available opportunity

I am fully clear about the odds and the stakes required. Have we ever won the lottery...No because most people could play for a hundred lifetimes and never win a d**n thing worth having. Its about facing the odds rather than ignoring them.

I see gambling for what it is. I dont see an income scheme which is why I dont feel urges now. Its interesting that you have the what if feelings. Youve got to counter that with reality and focus on why we ended up on this forum.

Nobody would go to work if there was an easier option. That addicted feeling of oh I will just will win a bit. Theres no bookie that wants to pay for your house extension . They want you to pay for their yacht insurance and all the risk is really with you. They pay out with other punters money so sadly they are awash with money. Again I remind you of why you are on a recovery forum

Recovery will grant you the serenity to realise that it may always be within you and you must never be complacent. In the earlier days you will have thoughts but its only natural. The urges do die away and you should have something better to do like loving relationships.

If you can talk to people close thay can help focus with some tough love.

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

The price of s/t at ER this season i would not gamble if i were you, on a serious note ,the tone of your post suggest you already know what to do.Give the gambling a wide berth fellow white.

Hello LUFC1992,

My plan is to walk around leeds and ban myself from all casinos and feel proud that i havent let this horrible habbit take every penny i own and i think your a smart enough person. Maybe buy yourself something nice every month to show yourself what your money can buy and before you know it youl have yourself a nice collection of (Whatever you like).

Keep Strong Buddy

Hi All,

Sorry for the delay in replying. Really appreciate the comments, it's times like tonight when I feel a lot more content in myself that I'm able to fully take in everything that's said.

Bop5times, would be great to hear how you're feeling now? By my calculations you should be around Day 100 now, brilliant.

Joydivider, thanks. Really hit home with me. The main thing I take from it is the "they're selling a dream" and "not a money making scheme" - that's absolutely bang on. I think the couple of nights I was having the thoughts I have to admit in my head I was thinking about making money but how I thought it was a reasonable or logical way of doing so is beyond me. My gambling "career" if you can call it that was far from a regular income! And your words stuck with me.

Lids19635, haha exactly! That's a very valid point! MOT

Mac1989, thank you. You're right and as it happens it is a very poignant post for me. 12 months ago I banned myself from all bookies within Leeds, Castleford and surrounding areas as well as the casinos and weirdly enough it is actually the 31/07/2017 (tonight) that it expires. You'll be glad to know I have an appointment booked with the self exclusion team at 12:30 tomorrow to extend it for another 12 months. Hopefully after your post you went and did the exclusions, I know myself a felt a massive weight off my shoulders after I did as it limits the possibility of you doing damage when those inevitable urges surface themselves. This has been my most successful 12 months since I started and although it hasn't been free of 1 or 2 blips, I put a large part of the good times down to the exclusions.

A little update of how I've got on, I didn't deal very well with my feelings shortly after the post and I spent a while fed up and a little bit withdrawn to the point where my dad and closest friends noticed it. I even forced myself to stay in the house a couple of weekends as I darent leave incase I found myself searching for the nearest bookies not on my exclusion list.

That was a very big wake up call for me. The point I would love to focus on is the fact I didn't gamble a single penny but I know deep inside I can't be avoiding it on that sort of scale as it's not healthy and I spent a lot of time upset when I was stuck at home.

It may sound a bit daft but last week I received a letter through the post about a tax rebate, nothing spectacular but £150 and although it's cheesy I am a big believer in karma (good and bad) and I see that as a reward for the fact I didn't get greedy and go gambling. It's lifted my mood as it's allowed me to see that for one of the first times ever I succeeded in not letting it beat me.

With the money I had saved up plus the rebate, I have bought a new telly and installed sky sports all ready for the new season! As well as that Leeds united season ticket - hopefully this is our year!

Sorry for the long post but thanks for reading.

All the best, Shaun.

Hi LUFC1992

Thanks for taking time to read through my diary. Hope all is well with yourself and you are still GF and the thoughts of gambling have gone away that you were having ?

All the Best

Darren