my husband today found out I have been gambling on slots - prob a few hundred per month but as I earns good salary I kept it under the radar. I started a few months ago, quite innocently really and didn't spend much but then I started to win and loved the feeling but just spent more because I wanted to keep on havi g that feeling of having money .
My husband went absolutely ballistic as I had used some of the money he had given me as a present - I feel really guilty and haven't touched a slot machine - that's my on-line down fall all day . I feel sick at the thought of it. My husband wants to move out - we have a 10 year old daughter. He's not perfect by any means and I think part of my issue was boredom ( he works nights) and access to money . Luckily I don't have any other debt but really don't want to lose my husband. At the moment he is just so very angry and won't even answer my calls
Hi and welcome, you are amongst people who understand what you're going through.
Slots were my issue and boredom is definitely a trigger for many compulsive gamblers.
There are several members here who are partners of compulsive gamblers, so I'm sure you'll get some decent advice about how to deal with the situation with your husband. I'm pretty sure he is probably just feeling very hurt and angry, but will calm down and then you can work things through with him.
The more you do to show you intend to deal with the gambling the more supportive he'll be.
So do stick around and await for some great advice from others who are in the same situation or at your husbands end of it.
Hello Jayneili
Welcome to the forum there are practical steps you can take to protect yourself from gambling. You say that you play slot machine there is self- exclusion from online sites, betting shops,casino or bingo venues. You can also use a block software on any devices that you use to block gambling sites. Please find the information links here for self -exclusion and bocking software
http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/self-exclusion#.VBwD4_ldXww
http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/blocking-software
It sounds very difficult at the moment for both you and your husband. If you would like to talk things through with someone there are advisors on the helpline 08 08 80 20 133 and they will listen to your concerns. You can also contact advisors on the netline http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-counselling/frontline-services/netline
We are here to support people with a gambling problem and partners, family and friends. Please if you want to give you husband the helpline number where he can also talk with an advisor if he wants to. We can help him understand problem gambling and how to support you and look after himself.
There is also counselling available free with services across the UK. Advisors will be able to give you further information about the counselling services .The helpline is open 8am -midnight seven days a week.
Keep posting we are here to support you
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Hi Jayneili
Welcome to the forum.
Yes reactions can be strong when loved ones learn of gambling behaviour. In essence they are right because gambling can just not be rationalised in the cold light of day. They are rightly disappointed and even angry with the senseless waste of money also because they love you. Try it with a few explaining exercises and it just sounds crazy, odd, and addiction silly stupid, highly dangerous and all those things to a non gambler.
It is in the main highly dangerous and the people who design those slots know exactly what they are doing to tempt and fool people
We understand here how the addiction sucks you in. You will learn more. Its often boredom stress loneliness and indeed depression which leads to escape gambling. Both action and escape gamblers are addicted to the fix in the mind. The mind will do anything to get its chemical boost and that includes controlling everything so you waste all your money.
Its an addiction and indeed a mental illness which can be cured
Your salvation is facing this head on and having a phoenix moment. People close can be a great help in making sure you are self excluded from everywhere and controlling your finances until you are healthy of mind.
Because your mind seeks escape it is full of lucky clover. You have been ignoring the real odds and that is why all your money has been depleted.
Please ring gamcare as many times as you like. It can all be sorted with the right measures and I hope your husband will soon understand this.
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
Hi Jayne...my addiction was with online slots....terrible things. ...suck you in so quick....and like you it starts as a bit of fun...but beleive me....it soon goes t**s up....so ....self exclude from all sites...get a block on your devices....and try to show your hubby your serious about dealing with the problem...
Give gamcare a call....it really does help..and they will go through the best way to deal with it all..
My hubby was shocked...gutted...all the things I expected hed be when the P**P hit the fan my end...
But once he saw I was really fighting my addiction life soon turn around for the better....it's now well over 100 days gambke free for me....and life's good...so I hope you can get the support you need to fight as well.
Good luck love....and remember online slots will ....if you let them ...take everything from you...xx
Thanks all - really helpful. I am trying to work through the with Hubble - he is mad but I think going to help- he just doesn't get why I started and I can't explain x
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