Hi, first post, everybody has said it already, it seems I can't control my online slotting once I start... feel at least £4K behind, the addiction has built up, incredulously to me even now, over a couple of years. Just had the worst run ever on my previously favorite game, £100 gone in about a minute, now accept I am a victim of an algorithm that might let me win on smaller wagers but eats any attempts at higher stakes in seconds. I want more than anything to regain my self-esteem and sense of self-control. I get annoyed by my earnestness to keep vip status when the rewards are mostly paltry, so no more thought of that either. I'd be so devastatedly ashamed if my loved ones knew just how bad it has been. I want to make it up to them even if silently. Has to be the slow but sure way of earning it from now on, thanks & best to all here and in pain or on the way to recovery.
Welcome..like you..I became addicted to online slots...
It sure does creep up on you..none of us set out to become addicts. ...
Vip status to the online slot sites is just a posh word for suckers !
They only do what they do...give what they give to keep us depositing funds to them love...
But sadley....when we're in the grip of addiction we think its wonderfull....I've had that t shirt !
Yes...we've all felt what you're feeling...shame..fear. .guilt..self loathing etc...
And yes ....we've all cried. ..fretted
And felt devasted at our losses. ..
It's just all part of the downward spiral of addiction love...
Best thing I done was ...ring the helpline....read/post on here...
Got rid of my laptop...which was my partner in crime. .
Blocked my b/b from gambling sites...incase I was tempted to start playing slots on my phone...
No...it's not an easy journey...
I took it hour by hour in my early days of not playing the slots. ..
But with lots of sole searching...and determination the days started to add up...weeks ..then months..and now slowly heading towards my 2nd year....
Never in a million years did I imagine id feel like I do now....
Hope you can take some encouragement from this....and I wish you well..x
Really appreciate your reply Loxxie and encouragement and advice 🙂 Have managed no depositing since my pledge, but I have used what they gave me on frees / promos. Even feel yuck about losing that small amount. Notice that it triggers an urge to keep going any time I lose, even free money... boy that plays into their pockets huh?! Pleased with progress, but by no means out of the woods. If I can manage to just allow myself to wager what keeps me eligible for the free promos (generally £2 / week) I'll do that to give a chance of winning something back, but if I can't be in control with it I'll have to look at blocking software. Like others on here alcohol has played a part in my worst runs. Have been left really short this month and plan to start a written budget for the first time ever. Onwards and hopefully upwards, best wishes all xx
Hi faithphoenix.
Welcome to the forum
How much have you lost and you need to focus on that. You need to see the videos on how the slots actually work and even get a printout on the odds of winning a small prize on those machines. Its starts at one in ten to win a a small amount none of us were really playing for. The odds then go up exponentially to one in hundreds, one in thousands, even to one in a million.
The machines are programmed with features to keep us playing and false/small wins to get us into the trance
Your chances of winning it back with one spin/ promo spins are negligible. Its not an income scheme and even the gambling industry have to say its for entertainment at best...only who really plays them for entertainment as anybody will find when trying the free spins with nothing at stake
If you have already lost control you must now abstain from gambling. All the promos will do is keep you thinking about gambling and play on your addiction. I will never be in control on a machine because I am a compulsive gambler on those deviously addictive things.
I self excluded and I stay away. I was losing thousands because I ignored those odds with a head full of lucky clover and escape patterns.
You have allowed them into your home and you will have to look at blocking software. If you sit and write down what gambling has done to you, most gamblers lose and keep losing overall
You know how upset your family would be so you know how serious this is. when you learn about this addiction you will realise there is no room for half measures or complacency. There is no shame in admitting it got to you.
Some tough love to make you think because we care about you.
Being gamble free is a wonderful feeling and I hope you will start a full recovery
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
Just playing those small amounts to keep you eligible for bonuses or payback...is a very dangerous route to take love...
I'm afraid it's all about not playing at all. ...don't matter the amounts . Or if it's there money...or yours. .
It's about simply not gambling..
You're addiction will stay alive as long as you're dabbling...
Tough words ...yep !
But true ones love...
What's gone ...is gone. ..
I went through what you're thinking...
6 mnths and several quid later. ..
I saw that I was just digging a bigger hole. .
The only way ....is no play xx
Hi again and thanks for the messages and time you've taken to care... do you know, I kinda knew that I'd be told that ain't the way while I was writing the last post! Oh dear... it is hard to be in a position where I know there is a problem yet it seems so recent that I was more or less in control, that I can't quite believe I'm a full-on compulsive gambler yet... that may take some time to sink in. I've been lured into the promo way of thinking as I won a high value holiday off one site out of the blue last year; and even today have been given a vip x-mas gift. I'd wonder if bingo might be 'safer' than the lure of slots, but I guess it is all the same, like you've all learned the hard way and I have complete respect for that. I know for sure I want to put a lot of time between that awful last few months of no control and hundreds / I think about 4 thousand lost, and if it has to be by total abstinence then that is what I will do. Thanks again, Loxxie, and Joydivider, really appreciate the help xx
Hiya, just checking in, still not deposited at all, mind you can't as totally skint until Monday. Feeling quite strong, BUT deffo the urge looms up, can see will be difficult not to buckle. Holding onto my pledge. Hope it has been a good weekend for most 🙂 Oh and re: that xmas gift I mentioned last post, I noticed in the terms and conditions that it will be revoked if any cool off is put on the account. Thought that went against what they say about supporting responsible gambling tbh... if it is earned I think it is pretty rough to take it away again. I've closed 2 other accounts though. Baby steps.
Hope you got some barriers up..
You said you had money coming in today....hang on to it !
Keep busy today. .x
You ok ...
thanks Loxxie... typed a reply a moment ago, but somehow managed to delete it! Argh! Well, failed at not depositing, and experienced more of the same horrible feelings. I convince myself I'm prepared to lose x amount, then go on to depo more and more. Had a good spin, which will fix some recent damage, even though I promptly lost half of it, but I hope will give me a good fresh start tomorrow, but by golly this is hard to stop fully. I have so much newly found compassion for this problem, which I hope is what I'm supposed to learn from this so I can move on. xx
You'll keep experiencing those horrible gut renching moments as long as you keep depositing love..
No point saying .."just a tenner "
We all know it won't work like that. ....
You got to break all chains to try and fight this love...no demo..no little deposits. ...all that's doing is keeping you're addiction bubbling in the pan...
Sort out some proper blocks. .
Some proper support...
And it can be done...
You can do this....xx
Hiya faithphoenix you sound like me I am due to be paid tomorrow and i am normally sat counting down until midnight so the weekly cycle of destruction can start If you dont mind me asking what site were you playing on?
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