**posted by SamG** First time on here

thank you lost my life, i have resisted this long, im sure i can carry on, ive managed to do a few questions, im still wandering aimlessly of what to do, when my partner comes back im gonna try the k9, as he needs to do the accounts password, im slowly picking up, dreading sleeping tonight case i dream bingo all night :(, again it is bringing it home if i carry on i will become un returnable, i think we are taking the children to an outdoor pool at the week end, then a day trip on wednesday for my daughters birthday & a nice big swimming pool to assemble the next day so safe to say im gonna be busy & in between course work to finish by wednesday too, wish me luck & hopefully goodbye to the urges, small steps & focus focus focus,

wishing you all the same luck & thank you again

samg x

Hi Sam, thank-you for wishing me luck, I know I will not gamble again (a big statement but the thought of debt would drive me right to the edge) my issue is with the utter self-loathing and despair I'm left with after wasting my life-times savings (it is impossible to regather those savings) this gives way to massive depression and very negative thoughts. However I want to move forward, I can pay my bills and start again away from gambling. I know the 'buzz' from ordinary life may never be the same as 'gambling buzz' but I don't fancy sleeping on the streets. So to you, you are planning trips out that is good, it's really hard being a mum (often pretty boring - the same thing over and over again) but remember your mum did it and all you familys mothers before you, bet they never had trips to the baths planned. Just change your lifestyle a little, move your thought process away from slots and money to ......................... anything that you also like mmm Robbie Williams ? !! Keep posting P.

i cant begin to imagine how u feel with losing so much, but keep up with what your doing i hope its working, my life of mothers before mothers before that have been fair rubbish but i am determined to be better it is bordem & i do need to think of my baba's more & stop being selfish even to my partner, everything basically, im a very hard person to deal with!! i dont understand myself sometimes, please stay positive & think of what is to come & not what has been i wish you every success, no doubt ill be back on at some point

samg x

well ive downloaded k9, but found a way around it so i am now in the process of changing email addresses so that i dont know the password, originally set it up in my email & clicked on forgot password & str8 to my email & could get in, waiting for k9 to get in touch hopefully asap, explained the situation so fingers crossed thy will change it??? then i will have no email password, its so frustrating, im feeling vulnerable, left wide open ???

Hey SamG,

I've just read your thread and it seems to me you really want to stop wasting your hard-earned on bingo. You've got a loving partner, financial security (planning holidays/trips) and great kids.

Yet still you choose to risk it all for a random game of chance?

Welcome to the world of the compulsive gambler. I can only speak from my own personal experience - it's helpful to install K9, to give your bank cards over to a trusted loved one, self-exclude from your regular sites, etc. BUT, this is only a sticking plaster over the problem.

I reckon you should take a day out to walk in a forest or lakeside near you, somewhere quiet and alone, to really think about WHY you feel this urge to gamble when you already realise it is killing you in so many ways.

I only managed to stop with support, but also only when I took some time out to analyse the reason I was gambling uncontrollably.

You sound like a good person. You deserve better than to suffer like this.

Mx

well k9 have got in touch & hopefully the email will b changed asap now, will get my partner to check when hes home, its been a whole week & no bingo, very pleased, i cant give my bank over im the 1 who does all the bills, but feel i have all areas covered to keep me away from bingo, id need passwords & i dont have them, im very appreciative of all the useful advise, support, no more chancing my luck & focus on home life. myself ?, thank you all feeling positive

samg x

Well done sam, u r nippin this in the bud now, stay very strong, don't be tempted back, that is the secret - Happy week-end x P x

thanks lost my life, hope your doing ok, still w8g for password to be changed, hope the weather stays nice for it, i need to concentrate on my course work now so that should help, thinking of you all at this very tempting times, wish you all luck, will give you a catch up on my progress next login

thank you all again

samg x

Hi Sam, hows it goin, I cant post at week-ends because I spend them with my partner. Its a long story as to why I don't do Gamcare with her, to be quick she can't deal with what I have done to myself and her after promising such a rosy future. so we don't discuss it anymore but she is aware I have lost my pension pot entirely , so I am gamble free now for ten days, would like to say it feels good, but I have that awful feeling in my heart that life from now on is 'aldi' rather than 'M&S' style. How are you - staying away from that computer I hope !! Keep thinking bout other things don't think about winning money - you will only lose with the bookies/casino/on-line. Px

hi P, well done for the 10 days. Im 10 days myself, struggled yesterday but did it, as long as you have food to feed your belly, a roof over your head & bills paid who cares where you shop, sounds like you have a very loyal partner, carry on being strong & growing old together that will be best feeling - that you are managing/managed to do some things right ?, there is no rule book out there to tell us how to do it, we learn from our mistakes, i wish you all the luck in the world, me to, ive come on now cause this is my usual bingo time for a bit of relax time but instead im airing my feeling then getting back to my course work 1 day to go to finish aaarrrggghhh 20 qs left 'hand on face' i will do it, so im busy doing that, then a day trip wed, busy thurs with a pool if weathers nice, my friends/family have made plans for us for the wkend lol think we going to the seaside, then onto the family to meet a new addition, think ill be glad go back to work after my last 2wks off, just the urges get to me but i can do it ?, keep up your gamble free days your doing so well, speak soon

thanks samG 🙂

Hi Sam, how are you feeling now your gambling life is over? Are you positive or negative - happy or depressed ? Are your gambling losses life changing, can u recover from what you have lost. I think you sound young enough to recover the damage, will your relationship be OK? These are all questions a broken gambler must deal with, i was reading one of my e-mails i sent to my partner in 2013, promising her i would never gamble again, this urge to gamble overrode everything. It's a mess the future for me, make sure your's isn't. Stay off the slots, you cannot win in the long run, gambling is a rich man's way of luring people who do not have a lot into thinking they can improve their financial position by little or no effort by a few clicks here and there, and then bang they take all your winnings and more, its a cruel way to make profits. i'm off to paint a fence no 'buzz' there but at least i won't lose any money ! xp