Relapsed, just couldn’t stop

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(@captaintilly)
Posts: 7
Topic starter
 

Hi I’m new here! 

have had a long history of gambling and have gone through a lot and put my family through a lot especially my husband. 

My mum is also a problem gambler and has stolen money from me many times. 

I’ve tried so hard to control it over the past year or so and I thought I was really making a change. 

I got good at managing my money and I’ve banned myself from nearly every site I know and I’ve got a new job earning a good living. 

last night I realised I’d forgot to put my deposits limits on as I wanted to change them but they were off and well… not much good came after.  

Suddenly I was ripping into my savings and just blowing it on stupid odds on the roulette. 

If I look at my bank statement, it started with a couple of 20’s and then more… then 25’s each time… then to 40 and eventually ending the session by the 50’s… there was only £77 left. I’d gone through nearly £700-£800. 

I thought I had control! 

and now I’m gonna have to get through this week until I get paid and try to rebuild. 

so disappointed in myself and don’t have the heart to tell my husband. 

it kills him every time I do this

This topic was modified 3 years ago 2 times by Captaintilly
 
Posted : 21st June 2021 5:38 pm
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Posts: 5986
Admin
 

Hello @captaintilly,

Welcome to the GamCare Forum and for sharing your post.

I am sorry you are going through a really tough time at the moment, you are not alone in the way gambling can occupy daily lives for people. There is plenty of support available to you and you have made a really positive step today by posting your story.

Sustained recovery is definitely possible. Sometimes its about making those small steps initially to install some resilience.

Please feel free to contact the GamCare Helpline on 0808 8020 133 or Netline to explore the additional support available to you. We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week if you would like to talk to one of the GamCare HelpLine advisers.

 

Regards

Dan 

Forum Admin

 
Posted : 21st June 2021 9:16 pm
(@maxmaher)
Posts: 144
 
Posted by: Captaintilly

I thought I had control! 

 

Yes so did i last month ...until 3 hours had passed in the blink of an eye and my bank account was £250 lighter for the pleasure of watching some Latvian showing me cards 

It's a mugs game turn your back on it your not missing anything trust me 

 

 

 

 
Posted : 22nd June 2021 10:39 am
(@captaintilly)
Posts: 7
Topic starter
 

Yup, it’s the idea that you have control that is blinding us from the truth. 

The odds are so far and beyond our reach! Yes I win on the odd occasion and it’s a nice feeling when it happens but it’s all mathematical and never in our favour. 

Casinos should just be banned I think as it’s people’s livelihood they are taking from and they know the majority of the users are going to end up in a bad place. 

They dress it up to be caring and exiting but I think it’s comparable to just sitting here just slowing giving a millionaire my money £20 a time. 

 
Posted : 22nd June 2021 7:06 pm
Joydivider
(@joydivider)
Posts: 2156
 

Hi Captaintilly

You need to face the fact that you have no control.

Its a drug addiction and a bad trip you would rather forget until the figures of an empty bank account stare you in the face.

I used to blow up to £1000 per session. I shudder at that thought now but its the truth I had to face.

I was extremely ill with addiction and I did not understand that addiction until years into a proper recovery.

You must reach out for help! You must tell people close to you! If you think that is scary or awkward, look again at those figures and how its destroyed your self respect and dignity. It will ruin you if you continue. Gambling addiction kills people!

The blocks start with somebody managing your money. You simply cant play at this as you dont know the power you are dealing with.

Gambling is a vice and a mugs game. Its for fools who have money to throw away. Only I never had money I could afford to throw away so why was I doing it. I know why now and you will also learn the answers you are seeking

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

 
Posted : 23rd June 2021 2:25 am

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